REBTOZ

‘Shouldhood' causes upset or increases the intensity of what, Albert  Ellis calls, our ‘upsetness.’ The degree of ‘upsetness’ caused by our  tendency to think in ‘shoulds’ is what Ellis also calls ‘shithood:’  ‘shouldhood’ leads to ‘shithood ‘ psychologically speaking. Sometimes we might ‘should’ and stop and rethink our ‘shoulding’  reminding ourselves that to demand we should get something we  can’t get is futile. So, we recalibrate, shift our thinking to a more  logical, rational posture. However, if we indulge in ‘should’ thinking on a more permanent  basis, where we continue to demand that things should, absolutely  be  as we demand they should be, then ‘shithood’ is where we end up  until we understand how thinking effects how we feel and behave.  The world is no good, others are no good and/or you are no good  equals ‘SHITHOOD!” ‘Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.’ Shakespeare (Hamlet) The Have a Go S...

How we perceive the world, others and ourselves is our own constructed version of the reality we experience. Reality then is our version of how we perceive it to be. It’s a persistent illusion according to Albert Einstein and Douglas Adams says everything in the universe we perceive is specific to us. Dr Seuss says there is ‘no one alive who is youer than you,’ we are unique it is said, but what kind of ‘you’ are we constructing, what is our virtual take on the reality we experience and are we constructing a healthy view of the unique ‘self’ possessed by each of us. Have a Go Spaghettio! ‘s goal is to help children understand that as constructivists they are building an internal, virtual representation of reality and it can be either a rational, Brain Friend, Success Helper version of reality or otherwise. This video explores the idea that we can't ‘be’ any word ascribed us  by others or ourselves, as General Semantics theory says if we do we will experience emotional and behav...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review, reminder that irrational BB thinking is unhelpful thinking and this can be taught explicitly in the teaching and learning context. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, says the future of psychotherapy is in the school system. With the Have a Go approach, it has arrived in early childhood learning. Irrational thinking is that which stops us getting the results we desire or prefer. It dismisses or is ignorant of the reality that sometimes we may not get what we strongly desire to have; people to like us, to do well at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t be catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BB belief we are not OK if others think otherwise is an irrational perspective on the worth we apportion to our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist not because someone else says we are! Some children will be constructing BB beliefs that undermine their confidence and sense of agency impacting their psychologi...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review, reminder that rational BF thinking can be taught explicitly in the teaching and learning context. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, says the future of psychotherapy is in the school system. With the Have a Go approach, it has arrived in early childhood learning. Rational thinking is that which helps us get the results we desire or prefer. It accommodates the reality that sometimes we may not get what we strongly desire to have; people to like us, to do well at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t be catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BF belief we are OK even if others think otherwise is a rational perspective on the worth we apportion to our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist not because someone else says we are! We can help children develop this habit of thinking so it becomes intuitive, automatic, and deeply held. Some children will be constructing such a belief others may not be but ...

This video is another look at setting up the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper classroom. It offers classroom strategies that help to acquaint children with the think, feel, do connection a la Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. Give it a try banana pie! The Success Helper Well Being Framework has been adopted by many schools in Australia. It embodies the thinking and ideas of Dr. Albert Ellis who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. His ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is a counselling paradigm used universally to help people navigate their way through life. Ellis' therapeutic approach to wellbeing, mental health promotion/education is influenced by Stoic philosophy, Alfred Korzybski's General Semantics theory, Bertrand Russell's ideas and many more who teach that thinking, feeling, and behaving are all interconnected. The Success Helper Well Being Framework teaches children that they have the potential to manage their extreme and often self-defeating emotions...

Children can express anger through ‘meltdowns’, aggressive behaviour which indicate difficulty in regulating their emotions. The child is attempting to interpret/make sense of what’s happening around them, learning to self-regulate hopefully in time. They are learning to manage their emotions and Have a Go Spaghettio! can help!

Edward is an ordinary emu nobody is interested in at the zoo. He tries to be every other animal in the zoo but he’s still not popular like the other animals. He realises in the end that he’s an emu and he accepts that fact. This story is analysed through the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance lens as per the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to psychological, emotional, and behavioural wellbeing. The ABC theory offers a way of considering the emotional and behavioural dispositions of characters and how they relate to thinking or the perception of events. Children can think about what’s happening to a third party and make connections to their own lives. So Have a Go Spaghettio! and Give it a Try Banana Pie!  

Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) said that embedded irrational habits of thinking can place one in a state of 'shithood.' Known for his linguistic flair, his colourful turns of phrase drove home the REBT message that how we think about things can determine how e.g., upset we become or our state of 'upsetness' as he would say.  Our 'upsetness' and the 'shithood' it places us in, Ellis suggests, is self-imposed to a large degree. If we believe, irrationally, that people and things beyond us, 'give us the shits' as it is commonly claimed in my neck of the woods, then, could it be linked to Sustained Habits of Irrational Thinking Syndrome? Do we give ourselves 'the shits?' The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to wellbeing helps early childhood students understand how we contribute to the degree of our own upset experienced in most cases and this is done by engaging irrational, Success Stopp...

My name’s Brain Bully (BB) and you most probably don’t know me and that’s a problem for you. Why? Because I am a major player in how you might feel about yourself, others and the world in general. BB represents irrational belief constructions which don't allow the child to 'see' things in there true (rational) perspective.  Have a Go Spaghettio! Give it a try banana pie!

Behaviour management or behaviour education? Some children need more external guidance, parameters set and reinforced by the adult mentor as they are yet to have developed the internal means to regulate the self especially in challenging situations. But the end goal is to help young people develop the capacity to manage frustration successfully, to succeed at school in all facets of their learning and interactions, and to deal with disappointment in a healthy manner. Dr. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) said the future of psychotherapy is in the school system and he invites us to apply his ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance principles in daily teaching practice. Ellis' paradigm teaches how thinking, feeling and behaving are interlinked and that events of themselves don't determine how we feel and behave as our habits of thinking has something to do with it. Do we tend to think in rational ways or do we have a more irrational slant on happening...

This is a short video about a an approach to teaching the fundamental principles of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy to young learners in early childhood. It's tried and tested and many early childhood teachers say it is well received by students. Teachers relate that students pick up the language readily and enjoy the songs that reinforce key concepts. Albert Ellis, the creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy said: "l read your presentation on 'Have a Go Spaghettio!' a resilience building program for young learners. It seems to hit the spot and be excellent for your young audience." Give it a go (Spaghettio!) and let me know how you goeeoh!  

Dr. Albert Ellis uses the term ‘upsetness’ to describe a persons’ emotional discomfort when something unwanted has occurred. He says the intensity of the person’s ‘upsetness’ is not caused directly by the event or happening itself. Of course the event has a bearing on the emotional and behavioural outcome but that’s not the whole story. Dr. Albert Ellis, creator of REBT A young 7 year old student at my school was out of sorts; crying and quite inconsolable. After a while when he had gathered himself a little, we began to chat about what had happened. His favourite squishy toy had a small puncture and it was oozing its white fluid contents. He clearly saw this as a significant unwanted occurrence that initially triggered extreme emotional discomfort. Why did he feel as he did? Or more specifically why was his emotional response to the situation so extreme? Firstly, why is the child’s emotional response considered extreme? We can agree that the child was feeling upset but perhaps ...

Teaching young folk unconditional self-acceptance  is a useful thing to do. Constructivist theory says that we construct or build the beliefs that we use to guide us (consciously or unconsciously); the decisions we make, our assessments of situations . What kinds of ideas are young people building about themselves? Do they 'see' themselves as people of worth unconditionally or do they get a sense that they're OK only when others think they are?  How would a child conclude that their worth as a person relies on other peoples assessment of them? Well it's all to do with the sense they are making of their experiences; the meanings they make from information gleaned from the world around them.  So what about the information provided children by their significant others? Or rather, more specifically, what's the quality of the information received by these young constructivists? That's the key in the 'construction of beliefs' caper. If the incoming messages ad...

Early childhood is where the action is! Little children catch on quickly to ideas which are quirky and amusing. Just look at the Wiggles and their enduring popularity with the younger folk. Tap into their sense of the ridiculous and you have something to work with. Mr Chin is a character who doesn't finish his jobs. He stops himself because his Brain Bully thinking tells him 'it's too hard.' The video explains what Brain Bully is and how to teach it using the experiences of Mr Chin . This 7 minute video is for the younger children and suggest ways their parents and carers can help them learn that their thinking, feelings and behaviours are all interconnected. Have a look :) 

Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA) is a useful anti self disturbance belief resource developed by the grandfather of cognitive therapy, Dr Albert Ellis. He understood he was imperfect but he determined early on in the piece that despite his flaws he was always OK. OK, according to the gospel of St. Albert meant that he and everyone else could believe their way into unconditionally accepting themselves. Unconditional self-acceptance renders a person psychologically resistant to the slings and arrows that others may cast their way in the form of put down, harsh criticisms; unfair and damning, and all manner of failings and personal imperfections. This of course comes with practice and determination, vigilance and hard work. So how does one become self-accepting? This has been the focus of many or most of this blog content e.g Unconditional Self-Acceptance , but in a nutshell USA is knowing that a persons worth is not negotiable; it's a given, we're born with it! ...

Have a Go Spaghettio! is a program I wrote several years ago. It is based on Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy of Dr. Albert Ellis fame. I sent the draft to him not expecting a response but lo and behold he did reply! This is what he said: “I read your presentation on ‘Have a Go Spaghettio!’ a resilience building program for young learners. It seems to hit the spot and be excellent for your young audience.” I was well chuffed of course and I remain very thankful that he saw fit to take the time as he did to write back to me. A very generous gesture I thought which continues to inspire me in my work as a counsellor in schools here in South Australia. The program has been well received in the early childhood teaching community as it presents key ideas of REBT to young learners in a fun way. It acquaints young learners to the idea that their individual thinking constructions impacts their ability to manage themselves effectively in daily life emotionally and behaviourally. T...

The topic was Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), it's philosophical and theoretical influences and underpinnings. The temperature outside was 36 degrees yet people still drove from their places of work to attend the workshop. This foundation workshop is one of 10 scheduled for the year. Each session builds on the last helping educators and counsellors develop proficiency in applying REBT principles in their practise. Brain Bully Workshop 2 will suggest a fun and student friendly way to teach Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance. It entails using catchy expressions that represent the kinds of thinking that is helpful or unhelpful. The idea is to acquaint children with the think - feel - do connection. Workshop 3 considers how we can utilise the ABC theory in counselling early childhood students. How can young children learn how to regulate their feelings and behaviours by monitoring their thinking? Brain Bully thinking makes bad feelings and Br...

What is a  Bonsai  child  ? It's a new term to describe the child who has been over tended to, fussed over and over supervised. When something happens at school an  enquiry  is needed to get to the bottom of 'why Isabella fell out with her friend and what did the school do about it as she is such a  sensitive  child!' Is Isabella temporarily sad or is she depressed. Could be either but it's important to know the difference.  Clinical psychologist and researcher Judith Locke writes in her book The Bonsai Child  "A sense of melancholy is labelled depression; any trepidation is labelled anxiety. A friendship fight is bullying." The Bonsai Child  is her term for children who are over-nurtured. Michael  Carr-Gregg talks about  marshmallow kids  a generation of children who are afraid to fail. Do they experience healthy disappointment when they don't achieve their goals and wants or do they feel unhealthily de...

Children are constru ctivists. They make sense of what's happening and put two and two together and make their own four. Depression is a condition that undermines our ability to engage with the world successfully. What habits of believing have we constructed? Do we know what they are? Can we do anything about it? Why do I feel as I feel? Good questions to ponder and Rational Emotive Behaviour Education facilitates the students capacity to think about their thinking, to examine the philosophies they hold. If we have constructed our depression by cultivating irrational (unhelpful, unhealthy) habits of believing then we can deconstruct it! We can constantly revisit the meanings we have made about our experiences and re examine them through the REBE lens. 'Am I worthless? What does this mean? What evidence is there to support this hypothesis? What reconstructed meanings can I make that best fit the evidence?' This kind of awareness and learning allows the person to monitor thei...

Ruby is six years old. She loves school and is having a great time. Her mum is a sole parent who exudes optimism and has a great sense of fun. Ruby's Nana and Pop often drop her off at school and they show a keen interest in what she does. Is Ruby happy because she was born that way or has she learnt to be happy or is there some kind of magical combination of many factors and influences that contribute to her positive demeanor? It is hard to know and when we start to talk about which factors are most influential we enter the realms of conjecture and approximations. Some say genetics is the major player whilst others will say conditioning and learning is most influential.  As a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator I have a base theory which helps me to make an informed assessment as to why Ruby is Ruby. Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance explains or postulates that as constructivist learners we formulate our core habits of thinking as we experience the world and ot...