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Grieving the Loss of Self When Narcissistic Feed Dries Up

Professor Sam Vaknin is an authority on narcissistic personality disorder. His videos are informative and well communicated which helped my understanding of this condition.

A narcissists  'feed' dries up when the supply of others adulation and affirmation withers and stops. A crisis ensues when the narcissist realises that incoming approval has diminished and their idealised self is under attack. The contrived and carefully constructed 'self' is no longer acknowledged and valued by external sources. They cease 'to be' because the sources feeding their self sees through the narcissists grandiose and phony veneer. (see Ms. Prudence Putty-Nose )

The self they have concocted and which demands the positive regard and affirmation of those they have trained to adore them, is but an irrational virtual representation of the real world. There's a disparity between the narcissists version of reality and how things really are, projecting a world of fantasy replayed on a loop inside their heads, feeding off the approval of their fans. When others see through this veneer the narcissist withdraws as their old conception of their self dissipates, dissolves and disappears as their identity recedes to nothingness.

Professor Sam Vaknin in this video explains that the now 'self less' individual begins a process of grieving. It seems ultimately that this void will have to be filled so the narcissist can revive and survive somehow where a new self can be fed by a new set of others who are trained and conditioned to appreciate and adore them.

Professor Sam Vaknin explains this process in the video very clearly and eloquently. 

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