R U OK? Day and Happy Day at Para Hills P-7

The 10th September was R U OK? Day. It is an act of kindness to ask after the well being of someone we think may be struggling. A kind word or two never goes astray when directed towards someone in potential need. Kindness is a focus of all schools and is taught and encouraged daily. Unconditional acceptance of others is taught to students in schools like Para Hills School P-7 and Port Augusta West Primary through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education. The SRC (Student Representative Council) at Para Hills School has organised a day to reinforce the R U OK? theme of kindness called Happy Day. This 'celebration of kindness' will take place on Wednesday 14th October. As one student commented 'every day could be happy day.' 

Practise kindness

School teachers roles have broadened over time to include many areas beyond the narrow curriculum demands of yesteryear. Mental health and overall well being are promoted and developed through the curriculum across all year levels. This humble post is dedicated to all teachers everywhere who are doing such a fine job in the community of learning and teaching especially those at Para Hills School P-7 and Port Augusta West Primary School. Bravo!

Getting on with 'it'

When 'it' is causing you to feel sad, inert, sluggish, aimless and generally down sometimes the best thing to do is just keep going. There could be a plethora of 'its' that ails us - past traumas, anxieties about the future, fears of today. Which 'it' is it? Or are they many and varied? We can become bogged down in rumination and contemplation which can ultimately overwhelm us until we stop altogether and resign from the world i.e. the big 'it' that is 'making' us so sad - 'stop the world. I want to get off!' As has been observed over the millenia it isn't 'it' that makes us feel as we feel and do what we do.Oh no! Its our estimation of 'it' that does us in! The world is as it is and is neither good or bad but our thinking about 'it' determines whether 'it' is indeed good or bad. As the great Albert Ellis once said:

The world ain't for you or against you. It just doesn't give a shit!

In a blog post writer and comedian Catherine Deveny talks about everyday heroes. These are the people who get on with 'it' (the pressures and strains, trauma and challenge of daily living). Unheralded and anonymous they plough on, survive and hopefully thrive despite their personal trials and tribulations. Some will sadly give in to the pain that ultimately overwhelms them. 

Catherine offers the following advice from her own experiences through her writing in this blog post written in 2008.

http://www.catherinedeveny.com/just-keep-going-a-tribute-to-everyday-heroes/

Catherine says:

1. Every day the sun will rise. It is a different day with endless possibilities.

2. "This too will pass." These words, engraved on an ancient Sultan’s ring, made him solemn in happy times and happy during sad times. Remember these always.

3.You are amazing. You’re doing a great job. Just. Keep. Going.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What is REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy)?

A. It’s a psychotherapy tool used to help people sort out their behavioural and emotional issues. It is based on constructivist theory.

Q. Where does it come from?

A. Dr Albert Ellis created it in the 1950’s. It is acknowledged as the original of the cognitive therapies. Some others are Aaron Becks CBT and William Glassers Choice Theory amongst others. It is a philosophy based approach, Albert Ellis drawing on the work of Epictetus and others of the Stoic tradition.

Q. What’s the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance?

A. It demonstrates that A (the event) is not solely responsible for how someone feels and acts (C) but what we believe (B) has a lot to with it! I.e. A+B=C

Q. I’m not a psychologist. How do I teach this stuff?

A. There are some basic strategies that can be used in daily teaching practise that will value add to the teaching/learning process. You don’t have to be a psychologist!

Q. What is REBE (Rational Emotive Behaviour Education)?

A. It’s the application of REBT theory and practises in daily teaching/learning.

Q. Why is REBE important?

A. It teaches students in a systematic way how their feelings and actions are driven by their constructed beliefs (Rational/irrational). If students are aware of this they can begin to make better choices by deconstructing unhelpful beliefs and replacing them with helpful ones.

Q. How does this support mental health and suicide prevention?

A. REBE is based on the very counselling model, REBT/CBT that is promoted by DECDS, (South Australian Education Department) Beyond Blue and Headspace to name a few. It teaches students that anxiety; depression, anger and shame/guilt are driven by irrational core beliefs. Through REBE we help students to examine their core philosophical beliefs and develop healthier ones. As depression is known to be a precursor to suicide and self-harm the benefit of REBE is inestimable.

Q. What other benefits are there for students?

A. REBE addresses victim and bully behaviour. It is a system based on educative, restorative principles and is a preventative mental health program, which can be delivered via pastoral care and across all curriculum areas.

Q. I feel overwhelmed by the number of approaches, strategies, and programs available.

A. The REBE approach is user friendly. It doesn’t rely on any program per se but on a counselling philosophy that embraces most of what we teach about behaviour/mental health via a plethora of other programs that are presented to us.

 

Hello there!

Q. I’ve heard a lot about Positive Psychology. Is this the new frontier of preventative/educative personal development teaching/learning in schools?

A. Bertrand Russell, eminent mathematician and philosopher of the last century talked about positive psychology. Albert Ellis and others likewise in many and varied ways promote the ideas of PS. Martin Seligman of PS fame draws on many of the ideas and principles of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy/Education.

Minimising stress using REBT- webinar by Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis

The Vigorous and Empowering Approach of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

Debbie Joffe Ellis, MDAM

A webinar on Saturday, March 8, 1–3pm EST

Life contains inevitable suffering and loss, as well as pleasure. When we think in realistic and healthy ways about our circumstances—no matter how challenging they may be -- we can minimize pain and maximize joy. This enlightening and uplifting webinar will remind us that we have the power to choose and create our emotional destiny, and teach us the how-tos of healthy thinking. We will cover the main principles of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), the pioneering cognitive approach created by Debbie’s husband, the renowned and brilliant Dr. Albert Ellis, who entrusted her to continue his groundbreaking work.

To register, call the New York Open Center at (212) 219-2527, Ext. 2, or visit:

http://www.opencenter.org/live-webinar-the-vigorous-and-empowering-approach-of-rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-minimizing-emotional-distress-and-maximizing-joy-in-life/

Good Old Marcus Aurelius

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus was a Roman philosopher and emperor who said:

 "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it: and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.’

Easier said than done you say especially when we are told that we are not responsible for how we feel on a daily basis. Listen to the news and it isn’t uncommon for an interviewer to ask an interviewee ‘how did this or that make you feel?’ Listen to the student at school who declares on leaving the classroom ‘I hate this subject it makes me so angry!’ or indeed the teacher who says ‘that kid makes me angry!’ This would reinforce the philosophy that distress is caused by things and events external to us i.e. you, it or events make our distress! We remain unenlightened by the wisdom of the stoic philosophers it would appear though we have had the educational tools and the opportunity to challenge the prevailing ‘not my fault’ modern day philosophy.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education (REBE) helps students examine whether someone or something can indeed make them feel anything! After all maths is maths and whether it makes you mad, angry or otherwise is up for debate. REBE provides the opportunity for students to explore why they feel and act as they do on a school wide basis (see previous posts).

Recently at school a student excluded herself from the classroom because she didn’t want to work with a particular peer and declared:

‘I felt really angry because I didn’t get my way and it’s just not fair!

After some discussion she acknowledged that her distress was due to her estimate of the situation, which was that it was not fair that she didn’t get what she wanted (it was making her mad). She understood that her anger was precipitated by her expectation that IT should not happen! This is progress in the ‘whose fault is it’ debate in the school context.

We talked about cultivating a better way to estimate a situation, to think that it isn’t a catastrophe when you don’t get what you want and that you can stand it! She chose to revoke her belief that life must be fair and that sometimes you don’t get what you want. She changed her estimate of the situation and changed her distress.

Marcus Antoninus would be heartened to know that Rational Emotive Behaviour Education is promoting his philosophy in schools.

Musturbating Ed and Cool Al!

Edwin had had an unsuccessful recess. He had been involved in an altercation with two others regarding a basketball game. The two other kids were playing one on one and had enough players. Edwin didn’t react too well when he was told he couldn’t join in.

Albert on the other hand had approached the two basketballers earlier and asked the same question as Edwin. When told he couldn’t join in he watched the game a while and then moved on.

When asked why he did what he did, Edwin protested that the two boys made him angry and it was their fault that he kicked the ball away because they didn’t let him join in.

According to Dr. Albert Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance Edwin believes that A, someone or something, makes him do and feel as he does. He is yet to understand the relationship B (what he believes) has with C (how he feels and behaves).

According to Edwin’s view of the world he is not responsible for his feelings and actions (they made me angry) and feels justified in what he did (kicked the ball away). He came to the attention of the supervising teacher and was reprimanded accordingly. What is his rule for living? What are his core beliefs about himself, others and the world in general?

Albert responded in a different way to the same scenario. Did he lose his temper and kick the ball away? No. He accepted that he couldn’t join in and moved on to other things. There were no reprimands as Albert’s actions were not hurtful to others as he dealt with the situation appropriately.

Edwin is known to react in challenging situations. He is quick to anger and blames others, things events for how he feels. The world and all its inhabitants are at fault - never he! Edwin would like all the hassles, people he doesn’t like, things he is responsible for to be removed from his life so he can be happy. Woe is he as the world conspires against him, rendering him a hapless victim of circumstance. How did this happen? (Refer to previous posts).

Edwin’s Lament

Anger holds sway

When I don’t get my way

And I despair

It’s just not fair!

Albert on the other hand rarely acts without forethought. He is generally calm and will healthily feel annoyed and disappointed when things don’t go his way. He doesn’t stew over things and tends to get on with others and seems to be happy in his own skin. He is doing well at school, meeting challenges with reasonable optimism and doesn’t take failure too much to heart. Others respect him and he has a circle of good friends.

Albert’s View

I may not always get my way

And that’s quite ok

No need to despair

Sometimes life’s not fair!

What are the rules that underpin the actions (behavioural choices) and emotions of these two young people? The situation is the same but the outcomes are different. How so?

Edwin and Albert have different views on life, different rules for living. Edwin finds himself battling to cope a lot of the time and Albert seems to navigate the tough times in a more reasonable manner.

Edwin’s rule:

‘I must get what I want. When I don’t, it’s so awful that I can’t stand it.’

His unrealistic expectations of himself, others and the world contrive against him. “IT”, (the world, things and others) are not driving his actions and emotions, he is! He thinks those kids should absolutely allow him to join in the game. They don’t and therefore it’s their fault he feels so bad and acts aggressively.

Albert’s rule:

‘I prefer to get my way but I don’t absolutely have to. I can handle difficult situations. I can stand it.’

Albert therefore is inclined to annoyance and disappointment (healthy negative emotions) rather than rage and extreme sadness (unhealthy negative emotions). He believes those kids don’t have to let him join in. He doesn’t turn a small problem into a catastrophe; it’s an inconvenience but not the end of the world.

Implications for teaching practice

• Teach students about the think feel do connection.
• Talk about ‘rules for living’ as discussed above – why is one helpful and the other not?
• Challenge the rationality of these rules – why is one rational and the other not?
• Remind students that when they act and feel in a way that causes self and/or other harm (e.g. petulant Edwin had to sit out because he disrupted the basketball game) an irrational rule is at work.
• Reinforce those behaviours in children that suggest preference thinking- the student who accepts that she can’t go on the computer as scheduled for instance.
• Talk about helpful and unhelpful personal rules in day-to-day interactions. Decide which rule is helpful e.g. ‘I must be chosen to be the library monitor.’ Or ‘I’d like to be library monitor, but there are others who would like to be also.’ What are the consequences for each (behaviorally and emotionally) if neither gets their wish?
• Remind students that their worth is not determined by how well or badly they do or how others view them (approval/disapproval).
• Pose questions for students to ponder such as: How does ‘it’ make you angry? What is ‘it’? Why does ‘it’ not make others angry?

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education will give schools the capacity to support students to manage their potentially destructive behaviours and emotions. It will reinforce those attitudes and beliefs that are self/other helpful (rational).