REBTOZ

  Headwork Ahead is a sign that Ms. Smithers has standing in her classroom. It’s a visual reminder that monitoring how we feel, behave and how we think about what’s happening around us is an ongoing matter of mindful mind maintenance that can become an automatic, intuitive practice. Nevertheless, we need to be vigilant because Brain Busting Brain Bully is an opportunist and lurks around every corner! Have a Go Spaghettio! is a constructivist-based teaching and counselling pedagogy. It’s based on Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy and General Semantics theories. Each posit that how we see ourselves, others and the world is a construction, a mind made virtual reality that can either be far removed from how the world is or is pretty well aligned with it. General Semantics introduces the notion that the ‘map is not the territory’ meaning that our constructed ideas about how things work are just that, a simulated internally fabricated model, the map that we believe represents the ...

Don Hoffman, cognitive scientist, would say that the labels or words one might ascribe me are not me. Similarly, my ideas about my self are but representations of who I think I am. I can do good but that doesn’t make me good, how one esteems me is not me either. If I unconditionally accept myself, I don’t need others to approve of me, though I might prefer that they did. The Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy is designed to teach young learners that the ideas and beliefs they construct about themselves are not them. Even Einstein, it is said, argued that he was not nor could he be a genius. He said he had exceptional aptitudes in some areas but was lacking in many others so how could he be perfect as the word genius might imply? It would be useful to convey the message to students at every opportunity that what they do and how others might esteem them, is not them. If teachers can feedback to the six Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper capabilities they are doing the following: · ...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator works in the classrooms of schools. I consider all people working with students in our schools as educators but for me special kudos goes the classroom operators, the people at the chalk face, those on the front line. The role of the classroom educator is a complex and challenging one; teacher, counsellor, mentor, role model and the list goes on. For those lucky enough to have a had positive connection with teachers on their journey they are fortunate indeed. Behaviour management can suggest that students need to be managed or told how they should and shouldn’t behave and some children need close guidance in this regard but the end goal is to help them self-regulate and decide for themselves how they might behave according to the thinking rules they are formulating or have formulated. The six Have a Go colour coded Success Helper/Brain Friend competencies that are outlined in this video on the Have a Go Spaghettio! chart, co...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review, reminder that rational BF thinking can be taught explicitly in the teaching and learning context. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, says the future of psychotherapy is in the school system. With the Have a Go approach, it has arrived in early childhood learning. Rational thinking is that which helps us get the results we desire or prefer. It accommodates the reality that sometimes we may not get what we strongly desire to have; people to like us, to do well at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t be catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BF belief we are OK even if others think otherwise is a rational perspective on the worth we apportion to our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist not because someone else says we are! We can help children develop this habit of thinking so it becomes intuitive, automatic, and deeply held. Some children will be constructing such a belief others may not be but ...

Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) said that embedded irrational habits of thinking can place one in a state of 'shithood.' Known for his linguistic flair, his colourful turns of phrase drove home the REBT message that how we think about things can determine how e.g., upset we become or our state of 'upsetness' as he would say.  Our 'upsetness' and the 'shithood' it places us in, Ellis suggests, is self-imposed to a large degree. If we believe, irrationally, that people and things beyond us, 'give us the shits' as it is commonly claimed in my neck of the woods, then, could it be linked to Sustained Habits of Irrational Thinking Syndrome? Do we give ourselves 'the shits?' The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to wellbeing helps early childhood students understand how we contribute to the degree of our own upset experienced in most cases and this is done by engaging irrational, Success Stopp...

This is warts n’ all acceptance of all the things that make up the complexity of the ‘self’,  a term we use when referring to the ‘me’ we understand ourselves to be. We decide who we are, how our ‘selves’ are constituted, by processing and interpreting the information we glean from our environment. How do others esteem me? Do they like me? Does my self-assessment, my own estimation of my worth, depend on the assessments of others? Or do I accept that any clanger, rejection, or failure don’t or can’t in themselves define me in a global sense i.e., my total worth or value. If we tend to over rely on others estimation of us, we have reached a stage of ‘needing’ rather than ‘preferring’ that others view us well e.g., likeable, respected, esteemed, funny, smart. ‘I need you think I’m OK for me to be OK.’ A student once asked me if he was a good boy. I asked what he meant and he said I like it when people say I’m a good boy. I asked him how he knows when he is a good boy and he...

Seven-year-old Eabha (Ava) came by my office. She would occasionally drop in to tell me one of her stories or to sing me a song, but she seemed preoccupied and wasn’t her usual bubbly self. She played with a fidget she found in the toy box and after a short while, without looking in my direction said, ‘my dad has moved out and my mum has been crying a lot.’ She continued to play with the fidget. ‘Things were not right!’ Eabha stopped playing and then she came and sat down opposite me, settled in her seat, and grabbed a teddy that was nearby. Her eyes betrayed how she was feeling, and I wondered how a seven-year-old processes such a traumatic episode unfolding before her and around her and within her. I asked her how she was feeling, and she lowered her eyes and said, ‘When my mum told me that dad was leaving my brain felt sad and then I cried.’ I asked what she meant when she said that her brain felt sad. She said that she was thinking about why this happened and if her mum and...

Why it is that some can’t acknowledge a mistake or oversight when a simple admission of ‘yes it was me’ would be quite the ordinary thing to do. Everyone would understand; don’t we all make mistakes? Remember the Fonz from Happy Days? He couldn’t say sorry because the Fonz was perfect so how could he ever make a mistake? There’s a person I knew once, who was a bit Fonz like in his estimation of himself, though nowhere near as endearing, who would not acknowledge any wrong doing or mistakes that he may have made and would cast aspersions elsewhere on others who were not ‘as fastidious’ as he! This person however was very vigilant and sensitive to the behaviours of others. Once, when a person ‘committed’ a minor, innocuous ‘infringement’ of expected norms, he said to the miscreant, ‘it was you who left the fridge door open in the kitchen! I know it was you! Just don’t do it!’ Now, you may be thinking, 'surely that can’t be true, so much fuss over a simple...

Teaching young folk unconditional self-acceptance  is a useful thing to do. Constructivist theory says that we construct or build the beliefs that we use to guide us (consciously or unconsciously); the decisions we make, our assessments of situations . What kinds of ideas are young people building about themselves? Do they 'see' themselves as people of worth unconditionally or do they get a sense that they're OK only when others think they are?  How would a child conclude that their worth as a person relies on other peoples assessment of them? Well it's all to do with the sense they are making of their experiences; the meanings they make from information gleaned from the world around them.  So what about the information provided children by their significant others? Or rather, more specifically, what's the quality of the information received by these young constructivists? That's the key in the 'construction of beliefs' caper. If the incoming messages ad...

Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA) is a useful anti self disturbance belief resource developed by the grandfather of cognitive therapy, Dr Albert Ellis. He understood he was imperfect but he determined early on in the piece that despite his flaws he was always OK. OK, according to the gospel of St. Albert meant that he and everyone else could believe their way into unconditionally accepting themselves. Unconditional self-acceptance renders a person psychologically resistant to the slings and arrows that others may cast their way in the form of put down, harsh criticisms; unfair and damning, and all manner of failings and personal imperfections. This of course comes with practice and determination, vigilance and hard work. So how does one become self-accepting? This has been the focus of many or most of this blog content e.g Unconditional Self-Acceptance , but in a nutshell USA is knowing that a persons worth is not negotiable; it's a given, we're born with it! ...

I saw the sign ‘head for rent’ and thought I couldn’t possibly pass up such an opportunity. I’ll pay in kind of course (as I don’t materially exist) and I can be a helpful adviser to you, but I am you at the same time. How can that be you ponder? All I can say is that I am me talking to you, but you are me and so you are talking to yourself. If that’s giving you a headache, I can’t empathise because I don’t have a head, but I live inside yours. I’m the talk you hear inside your head; I’m Brain Friend and I’m here to stay. The two of us  We work together We will work hard  Through stormy weather! Your previous tenant, old Brain Bully had set up permanent residence here and by all accounts had a great time making you sad and causing you not to try all those things you would like to do because they told you ‘You’re so dumb. Don’t even try. What’s the point?’ There are some reminders of their presence here. I can see the tear stains on your eyes from your silent...