REBTOZ

If the 'map' (our belief constructions) isn’t the 'territory' (reality) and people believe it is, then there’s a lot of unwarranted emotional and behavioural upset endured by many who believe what they think is reality. This kind of thinking sees life’s twists and turns as major inconveniences that shouldn’t happen. So, if, for example someone doesn’t say thanks when you open the door for them, and you feel the indignation rise within, and you say ‘you’re welcome’ after them, who or what is causing your angst? The answer is that you are! But how? Rational Emotive behaviour Therapy, (REBT), the Stoics, General Semantics and the Buddha say that how we interpret what’s happening has a connection to our emotional and behavioural response. How we interpret what’s happening is related to philosophical belief rules we’ve constructed over time, of which we may not be aware. Consider the scenario above, how might the aggrieved person be thinking at the time, about the inci...

Daddy Wasn't There!  is a song featured in the film Gold Member. Mike Myers plays the role of Austin Powers, the James Bond type, man of the moment who has issues about the absentee father who was ‘never there’ at those crucial milestone moments of his formal development. Hence the song Daddy Wasn’t There! Austin had a twin brother, called Douglas Power, aka Dr. Evil who was thought to have died in a car explosion, and was subsequently adopted by a Belgian family who taught him to be evil. How this was done is of course conjecture, but I would suggest that Douglas may have been programmed to believe he was an exceptional type and people, all people, should, must defer to him and his specialness. Dr. Evil is self-absorbed, needs to be admired, and scorns those who do not revere him as he must be. He has a fragile ego and demands that others validate his status as an exceptional human being. So fragile is his ego he must destroy those perceived to be his competitors or enemi...

  Ms Prudence Putty – Nose went to a counsellor because she was flying off the handle a bit when she didn’t get what she wanted and she lasted one session. The counsellor said that her sense of her own exceptionalism, that she was a better breed of person and that others should see this and act accordingly was the cause of her high anxiety and need of approval. Ms Putty   Nose was affronted by this and could not see how she was responsible for how she felt and behaved and not the furniture, the weather, or the popularity of a teacher peer she despised and she decided that counselling wasn’t for her. She was even resentful of a teacher colleague who had cancer, as her condition was taking away precious attention from her. ‘I wish she didn’t get cancer. It’s not fair,’ she thought. "Cancer envy" is a recognized, complex, and often shame-inducing emotion where individuals may envy the attention, support, or care others receive during a cancer diagnosis.” She went back to her ...

A penny for your thoughts! This is a follow up to my last post in video form.   Marcus Aurelius said that the quality of our thoughts determines our happiness or contentment. This philosophy informs Albert Ellis' Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy which is the foundation theory of Have a Go Spaghettio!   Have a Go Spaghettio! delivers to young ones the ideas expounded by Aurelius and others and encourages them to develop quality thinking and believing.   So Have a Go Spaghettio! and Give It a Try Banana Pie!  

Don Hoffman, cognitive scientist, would say that the labels or words one might ascribe me are not me. Similarly, my ideas about my self are but representations of who I think I am. I can do good but that doesn’t make me good, how one esteems me is not me either. If I unconditionally accept myself, I don’t need others to approve of me, though I might prefer that they did. The Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy is designed to teach young learners that the ideas and beliefs they construct about themselves are not them. Even Einstein, it is said, argued that he was not nor could he be a genius. He said he had exceptional aptitudes in some areas but was lacking in many others so how could he be perfect as the word genius might imply? It would be useful to convey the message to students at every opportunity that what they do and how others might esteem them, is not them. If teachers can feedback to the six Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper capabilities they are doing the following: · ...

A teacher colleague was out of sorts it seemed. They had been quiet and reclusive, electing to stay in their classroom because they felt unsafe. They found it hard to come to work and do their job. They were a teacher of high quality and competence, well respected and loved by their students. They were particularly strong in their understanding of children on the autism spectrum and provided highly effective, individualised programs accordingly. A fellow member of staff had taken umbrage at the teachers suggestion that their class move a little quieter around the school so they didn’t disturb others. This was not taken very well, the staff member, whose fragile sensibilities were breeched and who couldn’t handle an adults courteous request spat the proverbial chewy! How dare anyone speak to me like that!  thought the entitled individual and after their little meltdown they went to complain to the acting principal at the time. The acting principal didn’t like the miscreant tea...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review, reminder that rational BF thinking can be taught explicitly in the teaching and learning context. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, says the future of psychotherapy is in the school system. With the Have a Go approach, it has arrived in early childhood learning. Rational thinking is that which helps us get the results we desire or prefer. It accommodates the reality that sometimes we may not get what we strongly desire to have; people to like us, to do well at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t be catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BF belief we are OK even if others think otherwise is a rational perspective on the worth we apportion to our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist not because someone else says we are! We can help children develop this habit of thinking so it becomes intuitive, automatic, and deeply held. Some children will be constructing such a belief others may not be but ...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Approach to SEL embodies the thinking and ideas of Dr. Albert Ellis who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. His ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is a counselling paradigm used universally to help people navigate their way through life. Here we consider Bullying and how we can best address it as educators in the early childhood context. Jonas Salk hypothesised that we could psychologically immunise our students so that they develop optimum positive mental health. We again revisit the red 'I'm worthwhile crocodile!' habit of thinking which underpins personal agency, assertion, and overall confidence. This video puts forth how the Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator can foster, encourage, and reinforce a mindset that will empower the young child in dealing with challenge, particularly with bullying. Have a go Spaghettio! helps to psychologically immunise our young children against the scourge of bullying as suggested by Jonas...

My name’s Brain Bully (BB) and you most probably don’t know me and that’s a problem for you. Why? Because I am a major player in how you might feel about yourself, others and the world in general. BB represents irrational belief constructions which don't allow the child to 'see' things in there true (rational) perspective.  Have a Go Spaghettio! Give it a try banana pie!

Have a Go Spaghettio! introduces psychotherapy into the early childhood school and classroom. Albert Ellis advocated for the application of REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) in daily teaching practice. This acquaints young learners with their thinking nature as constructivists who are forging their own ideas about how the world works. The closer their constructed ideas reflect the reality of how the world works, the better they are equipped to navigate the road ahead.    Success Helper thinking supports SH helper feelings and behaviours. Unconditional self-acceptance. the idea that there are no conditions attached to our worth, is represented by the 'I'm worthwhile crocodile' Red Success Helper. It helps young ones maintain a positive sense of self especially when things don't go so well for them.  Have a Go Spaghettio! 

Behaviour management or behaviour education? Some children need more external guidance, parameters set and reinforced by the adult mentor as they are yet to have developed the internal means to regulate the self especially in challenging situations. But the end goal is to help young people develop the capacity to manage frustration successfully, to succeed at school in all facets of their learning and interactions, and to deal with disappointment in a healthy manner. Dr. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) said the future of psychotherapy is in the school system and he invites us to apply his ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance principles in daily teaching practice. Ellis' paradigm teaches how thinking, feeling and behaving are interlinked and that events of themselves don't determine how we feel and behave as our habits of thinking has something to do with it. Do we tend to think in rational ways or do we have a more irrational slant on happening...

  ‘Nothing’s good or bad but thinking makes it so’ says Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Alfred Korzybski said the ‘word is not the thing.’ If a child is not good or bad intrinsically but somehow determines they can be they’re not thinking straight according to Dr. Albert Ellis and others. Doing something well does not somehow suggest that it reflects how ‘good’ we are, that we are ‘good’ for doing good. Isn’t it more accurate to believe that ‘I did Ok’ but that has nothing to do with my OK ness? Believing we’re OK when we do well or others deem us to ‘be’ OK is what Ellis calls self – esteem, where he argues, we feel good when we do good or when others approve of us. He calls this conditional self-acceptance, where self-worth is determined externally; an externally controlled and determined sense of the self, good or bad. Unconditional self-acceptance regards the ‘self’ consistently as one of worth even if one does good or bad or when others approve of us or disapprove of us. We accept ourse...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to Social Emotional Learning is informed by Dr. Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance and Alfred Korzybski's General Semantics Theory amongst others. Dr. Ellis created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) and said the future of psychotherapy in the school system. The Have a Go Spaghettio! chart represents the competencies and capabilities that help us achieve our goals, develop confidence and respect for self and others. The goal is to introduce the early childhood learner to their thinking nature and to help them underrated that thinking, feeling and behaving are linked to each other. For instance the Red Success Helper, 'I'm worthwhile crocodile!' represents REBT's unconditional self acceptance, the idea that a persons worth is not tethered to how others view them i.e., that they are not what others might deem them to be e.g., dumb, smart etc. Self approval is important and learning to need t...

A global rating of another's worth is when a quality or characteristic or behaviour is abstracted from all the competencies and traits possessed by an individual and is then used to assess a person's entire personhood. For example, deciding a person is 'bad' because they do something we don't approve of e.g., they didn't wave back! When discussing this with a teacher colleague, she notes that there are several fellow educators she works with who label some students in negative global rating terms, suggesting that ‘that’s the way they are’ and that they will not change. These observations concur with my own experience as a teacher and counsellor, where a ‘fixed mindset’ mentality affects how some teachers behave towards their students, projecting a conditional acceptance of the other attitude, defining student worth in a negative way. The word is not the thing. Alfred Korzybski Albert Ellis, who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, spoke of uncondition...

Alfred Korzybski of General Semantics says that we ought to be more thoughtful about the language we use and to be mindful of the messages we are trying to convey. Too many and inappropriate words can confuse understanding and he suggests that we develop a scientist sensibility (Korzybski, 2000) for listening. He talks about creating a verbal pollution free zone by asking three questions that encourage specific answers. They are: 1. What do you mean? 2. How do you know? 3. What did you leave out? Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, created by Dr. Albert Ellis, incorporates Alfred Korzybski's ideas in his approach to psychotherapy and can be applied in counselling practice when working with young students. Mary is an early childhood student who is not travelling OK. The teacher says she is self-critical and doesn't want to do things.  We talk about Brain Friend and Brain Bully thinking. BF makes OK feelings and behaviours and BB causes us to feel not OK and we don...

It is my experience that no matter how competent, experienced, or well credentialed an educator might be if your face doesn't fit you may as well look elsewhere if you're a teacher dedicated to teaching students. I've heard of teachers targeted because of their teaching competency, their popularity with students and staff. I'm speaking of the jealous and vindictive narcissist other, who cannot accept nor appreciate those by whom they are threatened. A narcissist inclined person at a school I've heard of could not contemplate that a colleague could be so popular, vivacious, and highly respected amongst staff, students, and parents. They intentionally set out to undermine and besmirch the character of their target. How was this done? The narcissist protagonist surfed the internet to get background information on their quarry, downloaded pictures and passed them on to leadership. This information was used to bully and intimidate them. I'm told they were slut sh...