REBTOZ

The narcissist has an approval need receptacle somewhere in their subconscious. It leaks like a sieve it seems, and the more its fed by admiring others, the need to be admired never diminishes, it just intensifies. No matter how much they are adored and revered, too much is never enough. They are constantly in ‘tell me how much you love me' mode .  If we were to suggest a rule that drives this kind of need it might be: ‘I need your approval for me to feel OK about myself.’ Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, created by Albert Ellis, would suggest, that this kind of need is characterised by an attitude of demand , a belief that one must  get what one wants i.e., the approval of others because only then will one feel OK about themselves. This is what Ellis calls ‘musturbatory’ thinking, where the person believes they absolutely  must have the approval of others if they are to feel OK, to have and maintain positive self-worth. This need puts that person at considerab...

The setup The teacher target became aware that things were different, that something was afoot, and she felt a sense of foreboding. A competent teacher was about to be systematically attacked by the people who were up to this point considered colleagues, friends. She started to feel isolated. She’d go to the staffroom and sit next to someone who would move when the principal came into the room. They were under instruction not to engage with their colleague as this would be seen to be siding with the ‘miscreant.’ 'She started hearing negative things about her being circulated among the staff and other teachers soon began ignoring her in the staffroom' Someone had concocted a ‘problem’ regarding a person on the staff which had to be ‘dealt’ with. Of course, such a problem was affecting the morale of staff etc. etc.  and had to be 'nipped in the bud.' The principal and her acolytes actioned their plan. The school principal asserted that: ‘Serious claims by others h...