REBTOZ

A teacher colleague invested a lot of time teaching her year 3 students that thinking, feeling and behaving were all interconnected. As Albert Ellis, creator of REBT said (I paraphrase here): ‘We make ourselves more anxious than we need to be when we think events and things are worse than they really are.’ The teacher did a lot of groundwork to persuade her young group that they make themselves more upset than they need to be. She read books that had characters who helped themselves get better when they changed the way they thought about something. She reminded them often that it was their/our estimation of an event, how we thought about it that was key. ‘If they came to know this they can do something constructive about their discomfort,’ the teacher thought. She changed her language; rather than asking ‘what makes you angry?’ she would say ‘what are you thinking about what happened that’s making your feelings so strong?’ She didn’t say ‘don’t be angry’ either as she knew her st...

Shit and fans have been part of our vernacular for as long as I can remember. Pear and shaped ditto. These words together help describe colloquially situations that are unwelcome. Pain and arse also come to mind! What to do when the proverbial hits the wotsit ? The amount of the proverbial and size of the fan is significant; how big is the problem? The amount and size is relative to how we may perceive the situation or how we 'estimate' the severity of it! As  Marcus Aurelius said:  “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”  Is the problem of catastrophic proportions, pretty big or just a pain? Young children find it useful to learn about the catastrophe scale. This scale helps them see how problems can be arranged in terms of how big/significant they are to the young person. They learn to ask themselves 'is it as bad as..?' If not then...

Schools in Australia have a Sun Safe No Hat No Play Policy. This protects the long-term health of children in light of what we know about over exposure to the sun and skin damage. It’s a reasonable preventative health measure. A young child (6 years old) recently in a school playground was crying, hatless in a shaded area looking on as her ‘hat ready’ peers played on the playground equipment having the greatest time ever! I asked her what had happened (A=Activating event) and she replied ‘I can’t play on the playground with my friend because I have no hat!’ So I reflected back to her what she said (as counsellors do). ‘You have forgotten your hat and you can’t play with your friends. Is that right?’ ‘Yes.’ She said through a veil of tears. ‘How do you feel about this?’ I asked (Emotional Consequence of A=C). ‘I feel very sad because I can’t play with my friends on the equipment. The teacher said I have to stay in the shade. She is mean. She makes me mad...

How do you help young children develop and sustain healthy habits of thinking? By having fun of course! Learning is a serious business and it’s important to have some serious fun on our learning journey. Children learn our behaviour, interpret the messages they receive, and process information accordingly. They construct their own set of rules, belief system that will guide them in the choices they make. These can be by and large helpful or unhelpful, rational or irrational. Give it at try banana pie! There’s more to this than meets the eye! We want our children to develop the capacity to take on tasks with a view to do their best and to hang in there when the going gets tough. This is the ‘if it’s to be it’s up to me’ idea that helps the individual to complete tasks and build on self-confidence. Here are some ideas for teachers and parents/carers to use. When children are working say: ‘You are giving it a try banana pie! (thumbs up gesture) When th...

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education (REBE) is the application of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy principles in teaching practice across all curriculum areas. Albert Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is tailor made to help students understand an event is not the sole determinant of their emotional and behavioural response to it. This is not a new idea, stoic philosopher Epictetus in around 100 AD observed: “Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them.” Educators comment daily on the ‘culture of blame’ in schools where students claim: ‘He made me angry so I hit him.’ ‘The teacher made me angry.’ ‘My mum didn’t set my alarm, that’s why I’m late.’ ‘Maths makes me angry.’ How do you teach the average high school student that ‘nothing or no one’ can make anyone angry? The goal of REBE is to challenge the philosophy that A ( A ctivating event) directly causes C (emotional and behavioural C onsequences) i.e. A=C. Th...

Young children have a great sense of the ridiculous and hence have fun with rhymes and expressions that are nonsensical and whacky. Appealing to their seemingly innate sense of the quirky helps to get across useful ideas and strategies that can help them in life. Having fun is important for you as well as your students and delving into the ridiculous is an end in itself I find! As an educator and counsellor working in the early childhood sector I have been known to dabble in the daft, query the quirky and to ponder peculiar prose! Spike Milligan was prolifically nonsensical and left us with classics like the Ning Nang Nong, which somehow appealed to our sense of fun. I never tire of the old Maxwell Smart reruns, laughing heartily at the antics of the eccentric Agent 86! And Tommy Cooper (if you’re old enough to remember) was altogether a unique individual who was a master of the absurd. Cooper: ‘Can you give me something for wind?’ Doctor: ‘Here’s a kite. Go and fly it....