Building Confidence - accepting oneself unconditionally

Even the most competent and composed amongst us will say how we have battled or continue to battle our inner demons of self-doubt and low self-worth. Some would measure their self-worth against goals achieved and how popular they are with others. This kind of ‘confidence glow’ can be temporary if one is inclined to put all of their psychological well-being eggs in the same ‘self-esteem’ basket. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, famously stated:

‘Self-esteem is the greatest sickness known to personkind because it’s conditional.’

We condition ourselves when we rehearse and re rehearse certain ingrained thought constructions that are unhelpful or helpful to us. Ellis claims, and I agree, that if a person’s self-worth is contingent on how others regard them or how well they do at tasks it can be very harmful. They will feel OK or not OK depending on which way the self-esteem winds blow! This is what Ellis called conditional self - worth, how one esteems oneself when they are approved of and when they do well; self-esteem.

What then is the psychological antidote to the self-esteem scourge? How do we start to help those students whose confidence waxes and wanes in response to the approval of others?  Perhaps it would be useful to note some of the consequences of coming down with a bout of the dreaded self-esteem bug – approvalitis!

People who conditionally accept themselves are much more likely to experience mental ill health than not. Why? They tend to put all their faith in how others value them and if this isn’t forthcoming they feel down, undervalued, and disapproved. They might say to themselves:

I’m worthless.

No one likes me.

I’m a failure

… Etc.

If a person’s significant other withdraws her friendship and approval this can have an adverse impact on her. The fact that she has been unfriended is a fact, there is evidence to support this conclusion. However the belief that this then means she is worthless is a position that can be challenged. It is here that the teachers and counsellor’s work begins because the goal is to help her understand that her worth was never given to her in the first place so it can’t be taken away. She has constructed these ‘thinking rules’ so she can deconstruct them if she works hard at it. The question is how? As Eleanor Roosevelt said:

‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’

Another question is if she gives another person consent to make her inferior how does she know she is doing this? The job is to help her understand that whilst others may reject her in fact, it is a myth to then believe she is worthless because she has been rejected. It is the goal of the educator to help her replace her fragile self-esteem belief with the more robust and evidence based unconditional self-acceptance habit of thinking. This will not change how life unfolds but it will lessen the impact of unwelcomed events will have because she is more psychologically robust. Dr. Jonas Salk who developed the polio vaccine talked about the idea of psychological immunisation:

“If I were a young scientist today, I would still do immunisation. But instead of immunising kids physically, I’d do it your way. I’d immunise them psychologically. I’d see if these psychologically immunised kids could then fight off mental illness better. Physical illness too.”

Constructivism explains how people acquire knowledge when they interact with their environment. Knowledge doesn’t exist somewhere outside the individual to be absorbed but rather it is co - constructed between the subject and others in various contexts. The idea is to acquaint the student with this idea; that they have constructed the beliefs that inform what they do and how they feel in response to life’s challenges. If they feel anxious or down then they may well be tethered to a self-esteem belief i.e. conditional self – acceptance. I will refer to one who thinks this way as a ‘self - esteemer.’ We want to challenge and change this ‘thinking rule’ to unconditional self-acceptance (USA), a ‘self-accepter’ rule.

I have posted many blog posts which suggest ways in which we can assist students develop unconditional self - acceptance e.g. Psychological Immunisation and Little Jack Horner and here I offer another suggestion. This is a lesson I developed to teach students about constructivism and how it relates to USA. These ideas can be used with students from mid – primary onwards.

First establish what unconditional self-acceptance is e.g.

When we accept ourselves unconditionally it means that anyone’s opinion of us (good or bad) is just that, an opinion and cannot define our ‘total’ selves because we are made up of maybe hundreds of different traits, qualities and characteristics none of which alone can describe us totally. We all make mistakes but we are not totally bad. The positive qualities still remain. In other words we are not our mistakes just as we are not our successes. We are just worthwhile no matter what! We want to help our students develop the ‘thinking rule’ that; ‘what I think of me is more important than what you think of me.’ This is not an arrogant position but one which is supported by what we know about ourselves and how well we accept what we know about ourselves to be true and factual.

Next hand out enough white and yellow Lego blocks to groups of two or three to construct a small wall.

Ask the students to do the following:

Please build a wall that best reflects what we know unconditional acceptance to be. Remember we can make mistakes and we may have qualities that aren’t perfect but in the main we are all OK. The white blocks represent our positive qualities and capabilities and the yellow represent those things we can work on if we choose.

•  Some may construct a wall predominantly of white bricks and a few scattered yellow ones.
• Others may have different ideas e.g. a wall constructed solely of yellow
• Others may construct ones completely white.

Encourage the class to consider the various construction’s and ask them to explain why they have made their walls as they have e.g.

Which wall best represents the idea that we are not perfect but that we are always worthwhile?

If yellow bricks represent things that we are not so good at what does a wall made of all yellow bricks mean? Is this true?

What are we thinking if our wall is made entirely of white bricks? Is this possible? Can this be true?

We want our students to see what ‘worthwhile’ looks like. If they accept what is represented by the wall constructions they can see that no matter what they are always OK (represented by option 1 above). They can then start to practice the belief of unconditional self-acceptance. It may just be a daily reminder to think e.g.

‘I will make mistakes but I am not a mistake.’ Or

‘People may not like something about me but I have hundreds of good qualities. I am not their opinion.’ Or

‘What I think about me is more important than what others think about me.’

Option 1 indicates a healthy appreciation that a person has many more positive qualities and attributes than negative ones and may regard those as areas for improvement. This reflects a rational view that even when we make mistakes or others think ill of us we are always OK. This is the hallmark of the ‘self-accepter.’

Option 2 represents a view that ‘I am not OK. Most or all of me is not good, therefore I am not good.’ This wall construction is an irrational idea because it denies the preponderance of positive qualities that a person has. It is important to provide evidence to a person thinking this way that this is not a true and accurate self-worth picture. This self-view represents the beliefs of a ‘self esteemer.’ This belief underpins a tendency to feel down often and/or anxious because this person believes that she’s bad/hopeless/unlovable.  

Option 3 suggests that there are people in the world who are perfect. This is an errant perspective that cannot be supported with evidence. Is there a person for instance who has never made a mistake? This belief causes anxiety and depression if such a view is held by a person who strives to always e.g. get 10 out of 10 for a test or who could never handle any kind of constructive advice because this would mean that she wasn't 'perfect' and then others would see how 'bad' she is and that would be a 'catástrophe!

Remind your students that we construct our beliefs just like we construct a wall. Our ‘thought walls’ are made with the bricks we think are the right ones. What we believe to be true can be helpful or unhelpful and believing that we are always worthwhile is true and if we don’t believe this we can mentally deconstruct the old wall and build a new one that best represents who we are!

We are ‘self-accepters’ and we build strong and powerful ‘thought walls!’

Not perfect but strong!

It's My Privilege To Be a Teacher

It's been been a while since the last post and life continues to unfold often as planned and anticipated and at other times in a tangential manner. We seem to have a trajectory in mind, a vision how things might pan out, a virtual template to guide us on our way. Things don't (why should they?) always go as imagined but ain't that the spice of life? The odd happenstance from left field (where did that come from?) will issue forth a challenge to meet and negotiate, an invitation perhaps to reach beyond yourself. Or indeed it may be an unanticipated delight that stops you in your tracks and lays a subtle smile across your hitherto sullen (feels that way) countenance.  The odd curve ball that's hard to lay a bat on and strikes you out before making a play! The tee off goes awry and your 4th golf ball goes off into the rough never to be seen again and it's only hole 2 of 18! Shut up already with your sporting analogies I can hear some say. OK I hear you!

So you've decided to feel miserable and resent that today is a day where you don't want to go to work but you have to! You know the joke where the mother is trying to get her child to get out of bed? You know where she says you have to go to school because 'You're the teacher!' That kind of day.

Then you arrive at school and automatically you start to do the intuitive things that have made up your routine forever it seems. And you are soon in the groove and you control what you can and your only expectation is to expect anything. Ain't that the way of schools? Of teaching? Of learning? Of life? Of course it is and why should it be otherwise I ask? To do so might suggest a view that perhaps all should or indeed can go the way I want it to go i.e. My Way! Now that rings a bell ...

But it is folly to assume that all will be fine. I recall my dad telling me of the ass you and me become when we make assumptions about how things should be.

Then you begin to take in the sights and sounds and feel of the place as you stroll along the corridors and poke your head into the classrooms and engage with colleagues and students and slowly you are reminded why it is you get out of bed in the morning.

You see:

• Students skipping to greet their school mates in the yard as they discard their school bag somewhere approximate to where they line up
• The teachers in a shared unit with other helpers and volunteers preparing breakfast for all children, especially for those that have had none
• The parent/carer who has to rise in the wee hours to get her child who has special needs ready for school and who offers a big smile as she drops her off at school and hurries on to work
• The students who spontaneously hug their teachers in a genuine gesture of affection and respect
• The smiles exchanged between students and their peers and between teachers and their students
• The teachers who meet to talk about the day, to share ideas - readying themselves for teaching and learning
• The teachers who treat the child who seems not to be able to shake off those persistent nits in her hair or who showers and dresses the child who has slept in the same clothes for several nights
• The teachers who put a food hamper together every week for struggling families and who will deliver it after hours if need be
• The teacher who has spent 3 hours after school has ended on the phone to authorities to get support for a child who is at risk going home
• The student through silent tears who trusts you enough to tell you of the heartbreak and pain of missing his dad who suicided only two years ago and how he has resolved to be the best he can be
• The child who starts crying because she is reminded she won't see her dad for a while because he is in jail and how her mum will go into the bathroom and sobs on the bathroom floor (and she cries again) whilst big sister makes tea
• The teacher who says 'I'm getting through to this child at last. She's beginning to smile again!'
• The child who as a five year old would bang his head on the floor to articulate the pain of abuse and who two years later smiles more often than not
• The child who begins to understand that he isn't bad for doing bad but is always worthwhile

As the day unfolds we engage with students in many ways in different situations and as it ends we are reminded why it is we get out of bed in the morning. Because what teachers do matters to our young charges. We are challenged to respond to their needs at every level and in doing so they teach us more than we can ever teach them. It is a privilege to be a teacher and to be accepted into their young lives.

This is a note I received today from a student and teachers get many such gifts in the course of their teaching careers. These words in a note of appreciation from this young person is one major reason why I get out of bed in the morning and it prompted me to write this.

Albert Ellis and the Dalai Lama on Kindness

The Dalai Lama says to be kind wherever possible and that it’s always possible. He talks about ‘cultivating’ attitudes of kindness and to practise empathy and sincere concern for others. Then there’s ‘mindfulness’, practising awareness of our feelings and actions and our underlying attitudes. What are we doing? How are we feeling? How are we behaving?

Kindness is catching!

Albert Ellis talks about unconditional acceptance of others (UOA). This entails consciously and intentionally being aware of our prejudices and dislikes when considering others and not judging them totally on the basis of a disagreeable (to you) quality or characteristic.

Random acts of kindness it is said is as good for the giver as it is for the receiver (givee?) because it engenders feelings of empathy and concern. It enables the release of endorphins which produce the ‘natural high’ we may experience.

We can choose to act kindly towards others and the trick it seems is not to accept anything in return. There’s always a payoff of course. Even the most altruistic among us would acknowledge that we get some kind of reward even if it’s just an endorphin fix! This is my take on Ellis’ UOA. Treat others respectfully, with kindness because they are fellow human beings (like me) and are worthy of respect. At the same time I can choose to dislike aspects of their character/personality that leads me to decide not to want to associate with them. That’s my choice but I won’t damn them totally.

The Dalai Lama presented a blessed white silk scarf to Albert Ellis on his 90^th birthday a gesture underpinned by a strong mutual respect and understanding. Ellis’ REBT offers a philosophical based counselling model of mind to teach children about thinking, feeling and behaving. This marries well with the teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and is therefore of great potential benefit to students of all ages.

Dr. Ellis and The Dalai Lama on the same page

These principles are taught in daily teaching practise through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education in many schools in South Australia. Students are taught about helpful ‘habits of believing’ that direct healthy behavioural choices and emotions. One of these is Unconditional Acceptance of Others, the underlying philosophical belief of the act of kindness – no conditions, no strings.

Kindness based on the conditions you may place on the other is a different kettle of fish. This is the ‘what’s in it for me’ approach to kindness and is largely what fair weather friendships are made of. And of course there is the principle of ‘enlightened self-interest’ where a relationship is based on a give and take understanding, which is a healthy situation, where each know the rules of engagement.

But that’s all for another blog item but remember it’s cool to be kind!

THINKING FEELING DOING

Behaviour is linked to how we act and feel and Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is a useful tool to help us (teachers, counsellors, parents) understand what is 'making' that behaviour. 

Should ought and must believing characterise a mindset that generates extreme negative feelings and self defeating behaviours. These constructions have taken away the individuals ability to think and act independently. How?

Conditioned to live up to the expectations of others may render the individual impotent, powerless and paralysed. Consider young Sharon who was brought up to be a good girl. Her parents told her that she should always 'be' polite and she should never 'be' impolite. Polite people were good and 'impolite' people were bad. Sharon strove to be a good girl and to please her parents who would tell her how good she was when she did good. You know the story. Sharon developed extreme anxiety about making mistakes and 'disappointing' others. She would often not attempt things if she thought there was a chance she could stuff up etc etc. All up Sharon danced to the beat of someone elses drum:

• I must do well and achieve my goals
• I must not offend, disappoint, let others down
• I should always be polite 
• Others should treat me well; they're bad if they don't 

..and the list goes on.

Ellis coined some interesting turns of phrase like musturbation; the tendency to think in musts (and oughts and shoulds). Rational Emotive Behaviour Education helps children develop the ability to question and challenge what underlies the extreme unhelpful emotions and behaviours that conspire against them. Better to think in preferences like:

• I'd prefer to reach my goals and succeed. (It's OK to try and fail I am not a failure).
• I'd prefer others to approve of me and appreciate my qualities and capabilities. (It's OK for others to challenge and criticise my actions or other qualities. My worth is not at risk unless I believe it is!)
• I'd like things to work out for me. (I expect that life will throw up challenges to me - that's how it goes!)

A habit of doing something is linked to a habit of thinking (believing) something. The habit of doing won't change until the habit of thinking that underlies it is changed. This can only be done if the students:

• Know that thinking feeling and doing are connected
• Know what they believe 'makes' them act and feel as they do
• Work hard to replace their 'must' beliefs with 'preference' thinking

A rational and healthy perspective on the self

My World - under construction

Children are constructivists. They make sense of what's happening and put two and two together and make their own four. Depression is a condition that undermines our ability to engage with the world successfully. What habits of believing have we constructed? Do we know what they are? Can we do anything about it? Why do I feel as I feel? Good questions to ponder and Rational Emotive Behaviour Education facilitates the students capacity to think about their thinking, to examine the philosophies they hold. If we have constructed our depression by cultivating irrational (unhelpful, unhealthy) habits of believing then we can deconstruct it! We can constantly revisit the meanings we have made about our experiences and re examine them through the REBE lens. 'Am I worthless? What does this mean? What evidence is there to support this hypothesis? What reconstructed meanings can I make that best fit the evidence?' This kind of awareness and learning allows the person to monitor their mental health, to make decisions about what they can do to help themselves forge ahead in the world. The REBE approach to Positive Psychology is promoted through The Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre, based at Stuart High School in Whyalla, South Australia.

https://www.facebook.com/TheAlbertEllisProfessionalLearningCentre

Positive Psychology the Whyalla Way - Albert Ellis and Psychology in Schools

A group of schools in Whyalla, South Australia has been promoting student personal and academic capability development through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education (REBE) for over two years now. The Albert Ellis Centre Face Book page (https://www.facebook.com/TheAlbertEllisProfessionalLearningCentre?ref=hl) has documented the excellent work done by teachers at Stuart High School, Whyalla Stuart Campus R-7, Hincks Avenue Primary and Long Street Primary schools. Based on the work of Albert Ellis' (father of cognitive therapies) Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy professional and personal development programs have been provided through 'The Centre' for more than two years now. That equates to 400 plus educators, carers, counsellors and other allied professionals having been informed and skilled in the delivery of Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional (and Behavioural) Disturbance in a variety of contexts - education and therapeutic interventions. This endeavor has been supported by enthusiastic school leaders who put a premium on student personal competency building as part of every day learning. Whilst we all in Whyalla congratulate the South Australian governments initiative to support the work of Dr. Martin Seligman I want to again through this blog acknowledge the work and endeavours of educators from preschool to year 10 who have been promoting our version of 'Positive Psychology' with very positive outcomes to date in Whyalla in very challenging contexts. The article here http://ow.ly/qDRaK recommends the establishment of a 'Well Being Institute' to execute an international agenda. Two and a half years ago we opened the Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre at Stuart High School - DONE! We have continued to provide quality programs under the auspices of the REBT Network, USA (www.rebtnetwork.org). The article also recommends that 'a workforce capable of teaching wellbeing' be developed. Good idea and Whyalla and Eyre and Western Region have about 300 educators, counsellors and para professionals trained (via The Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre) in the application of cognitive therapy based principles in educational and counselling contexts. This too is done and continues to be done through a comprehensive professional learning program.

Whilst it is commendable that the South Australian government supports the great work of Dr. Martin Seligman for whom I have a great deal of respect I would hope that initiatives such as ours in regional South Australia would also attract some support and recognition. Positive psychology development in schools is a positive thing and educators in Whyalla, South Australia are doing their bit through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education to promote positive mental health in schools and beyond.

Whyalla Marina, South Australia

Article for The National Psychologist: Master Therapists.

Albert Ellis PhD.

This appears in the current Jan/Feb 2013 edition of the National Psychologist: Vol 22, No. 1. Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis talks about her late husband and his work: Dr Albert Ellis, Master Therapist.

Albert Ellis, legendary pioneer in the field of cognitive psychology, was a genius.

He created his approach of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), describing its methods and techniques in clear style - through his writings, presentations, trainings and therapy sessions. REBT was understood and embraced by people within the world of psychology and those from every walk of life.

His whole-hearted and earnest goal was to help as many people as possible to suffer less emotional misery and to experience more happiness in their lives.

His tireless work over more than six decades helped millions of people change their lives for the better.

Yes, Albert Ellis was a genius.

He was my mentor, my model.

He also happened to be my husband.

When I studied the various psychological approaches during my university days, it was his approach toward which I felt magnetized. I loved its clarity, its efficiency, and its holistic embrace: recognizing the interrelationship of thinking, behavior, and emotions. I loved its humanistic and philosophical emphases, and after first meeting the man (years before we began our relationship) – I loved him. I loved his vigor, his definite and unforgettable style of communicating, his humor, his honesty, and above all his authentic care and compassion for those who were in emotional distress.

From the moment our relationship started we were practically inseparable, and l worked with him in each aspect of his work – including writing, presenting, giving workshops and co-leading groups. I witnessed his approach with students, clients and members of the public in our work settings, and in every other scenario of our lives.

I could write a large volume detailing the many outstanding qualities he exhibited as a master therapist, but for the purpose of this short article I have selected just a few of them to share with you.

1. Authenticity, straightforwardness and practicing what he preached.

He reminded us that all humans are fallible, prone to acting both for and against our healthy goals, but that we have the power to control our emotional destinies, and that by choosing to think in healthy ways we can create appropriate and healthy emotions. With urgency he would often remind us of the swift passing of time – encouraging us to use it well, and not waste it by creating unnecessary misery.

And he did not waste a minute of his time. He would usually work 16 hour days. On planes, in doctors’ waiting rooms and elsewhere – he would never sit idly. Instead he would engage in writing, reading or composing songs and poems.

With straightforward language he would teach the REBT tools which help change and prevent emotional suffering, and often share his own experiences of using them on himself in dealing with his unhelpful tendencies. He never presented himself as someone occupying any altar of “holier that thou” perfection. He spoke of his successful efforts as a young man in overcoming painful and debilitating shyness. He spoke often of the on-going effort he continued to make to prevent, for example, his largely inherited tendency of impatience and low frustration tolerance. He reminded us that, for each one of us, ongoing work and practice are required for the maintenance of healthy change, sharing his example of doing so with successful results. Hence many people felt at ease in his company, did not feel judged or damned for any flaws – they witnessed his unconditional acceptance of himself and heard of his ongoing efforts. They felt his unconditional acceptance of them. Al was an authentic model of what he was recommending, in addition to being teacher and therapist. As a consequence of this, many were less defensive and more receptive to hearing and acting upon recommendations for changing. Al did not pander to any justifications that some people presented for continuing to think and behave in their self-defeating ways. He would dispute such ideas and did not go along passively with clients or students who were hurting themselves. His no-nonsense definite manner added to the motivating energy he provided. And underneath all of that, most people felt his genuine care and concern for their well being.

Journalists and others have written about Al’s experiences during his final years of life: being ousted off the board of his institute and then being re-instated by a Supreme Court judge (even though it was too late to have any impact); of his being stopped by directors from presenting programs in his institute (we rented a room in the building next door to continue giving workshops); and of his sadness in discovering that the original mission statement for his institute had been changed without his knowledge or approval. He felt deeply saddened by these and other related events – and yet continued to practice what he preached. He did not damn or hate the people involved – he was very clear about that. He hated their actions – but did not hate them. Hence he did not experience rage, or depression, just a deep sadness which was wholly appropriate in those circumstances. He also felt genuine compassion for those people.

One afternoon as my tears fell following an incident I considered very harsh and unjust – he gently reminded me “Accept, Debbie, accept. Since they think in the way they think, then they have to act the way they act. We don’t like it. But we had better accept it.” He taught me, and showed me, that unconditional acceptance of others is something we can choose to experience, when we are willing to put in the effort. It may not arise automatically when people act against our goals – hence effort is required. As a result of doing so I felt steadied, less devastated, less hopeless and felt appropriate concern and sadness. Consequently when I work with clients who would benefit from working to choose to accept what they cannot change, I do so with comfort and conviction. I know that I am not just spouting a familiar line or presenting a Pollyanna-ish ideal. I know from my experience that the attainment of unconditional acceptance, though often difficult to do in dire circumstances, is nonetheless achievable when one makes the choice and puts in the effort. And well worth it.

The final 14 months of Al’s life were marred by brutal ill health, yet he continued to practice what he preached. In addition to making effort to change undesirable circumstances with whatever strength he had, he accepted the likelihood that he might not succeed. Though we felt deep sadness, we also practiced another important REBT principle – accepting our sadness whilst also focusing on what was good and positive. Each and every day we relished being together, grateful for our love and remarkable closeness. Though so many things were not going well, we still had one another. And with gratitude we focused on that love, and cherished it.

2. Humor and Keeping Things in Healthy Perspective.

Al included the use of humor as being one of the helpful responses to adopt when circumstances were challenging. He had sharp wit and an uninhibited way of expressing his observations that led many listeners to laugh and to take things less seriously. In one workshop demonstration with Al, a woman shared her negatively critical impressions of her appearance, thinking she would never meet a romantic partner, that she was “never good enough”, and was feeling depressed and anxious as a result. Al asked her from where she got such nutty ideas. She responded “From magazines and family” – to which he answered, “So they are as crazy as you are!”

He said this warmly, with a smile on his face, and she roared with laughter, gaining new perspective on her unrealistic thoughts and self assessments, as he continued to use REBT with her. Over time she successfully worked with Al to stop putting herself down, and her depression and anxiety diminished remarkably.

In our everyday life together Al used humor constantly – including during the tough times.

In 2003 after some months of abdominal discomfort, Al suffered severe symptoms and we rushed to the hospital. His large intestine was severely infected and in danger of bursting at any moment.

Immediate surgery was required, his life was in danger, and the whole of his large intestine was about to be removed. When I told Al this news, instead of complaining, he said “At least they’re not taking my balls!”

2013 is the centennial anniversary year of Al’s birth.

Born with great intelligence and capacity for innovation and creativity, his life and work and his immense dedication to helping people, contributed to their well being in profound ways.

He was a deeply caring and truly golden-hearted man.

His practice, modeling and teaching of the benefit of choosing to constantly work on gaining and experiencing compassion, kindness and unconditional acceptance of oneself, others and life itself during challenging times may have been one of his most important contributions. This attitude was healing for the recipient and elevating for the practitioner.

His life and works will inspire many for years to come.

                                        Dr. Debbie Joffe Ellis.

Dr. Albert Ellis and Dr. Debbie Joffe Ellis

References:

Ellis, A. & Ellis, D.J. (2011) Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. American Psychological Association: Washington DC.

Ellis, A. (2010) All Out! An Autobiography. Prometheus Books: Amherst, N.Y.

Ellis, A. (2005) The Myth of Self Esteem. Prometheus Books: Amherst, N.Y.