REBTOZ

This 14 year old student has had a reasonable week. He has been aware of how his anxiety has ebbed and flowed in his interactions with others and is monitoring his self-talk. He is very careful about what he says and how he says it and is quick to help and encourage others with enthusiasm. Other students have commented that he is ‘overly helpful and encouraging’ at times and would prefer he ‘relax a bit.’ Counsellor : G’day. How’s it going? Student : I’m fine. I’ve been thinking about our last chat and I think it’s true that I worry too much about what others think. Counsellor: You’re not alone, and it’s useful that you have been thinking about your anxiety and what might be causing it. Last time we spoke we talked about ‘needing the approval of others.’ Do you recall? Student: Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I do want to be liked by others. Isn’t it OK to want be liked by everyone? Counsellor : Can you be liked by everyone? Do you think this is a ...

This is a transcript of a series of 3 counselling sessions I had with a year 10 student. I used Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance to help him. I am a Rational Emotive Behaviour Counsellor. This student feels anxious over something that has happened. He asked another student if he had a problem (are you OK? Can I help?). This was misinterpreted (what do you mean I have a problem?) and he responded aggressively. The student was taken aback and then began to mull over the response he received. He asked a trusted teacher if the esteem in which other teachers held him was now diminished. The teacher said not in any way but the student remained preoccupied and went to see the counsellor outlining what had happened and how best to deal with the situation. In the counsellors office Student: I am concerned about how a student responded to me. I am caring and I didn’t intend to offend him when I asked him how he felt and if I could help. I am worried that he t...

I was doing my rounds at school the other day. A young student (7 years old) had a waste paper bin over his  head. This sounds a bit like the intro of a joke (I went to the doctor the other day...). Anyway I spoke to the student and he told me he did this because 'I'm rubbish and that's where I belong.' On other occasions he had said to me that he was bad/naughty. This kind of talk would suggest to me (as a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator) that the child has constructed a view of himself that is irrational and therefore self defeating. Somehow he has concluded that he has no worth ('I'm rubbish') which is reflected in his poor behaviour and in the tears he shed's when we talk about this.  So how do we help this sad (depressed?) young person mend his breaking (broken?) spirit?  Albert Ellis said 'the future of psychology and psychotherapy is in the school system' but 'the future' is yet to arrive it would seem. Educati...