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Shouldhood and Unsanity

‘Shouldhood' causes upset or increases the intensity of what, Albert  Ellis calls, our ‘upsetness.’ The degree of ‘upsetness’ caused by our  tendency to think in ‘shoulds’ is what Ellis also calls ‘shithood:’  ‘shouldhood’ leads to ‘shithood ‘ psychologically speaking. Sometimes we might ‘should’ and stop and rethink our ‘shoulding’  reminding ourselves that to demand we should get something we  can’t get is futile. So, we recalibrate, shift our thinking to a more  logical, rational posture. However, if we indulge in ‘should’ thinking on a more permanent  basis, where we continue to demand that things should, absolutely  be  as we demand they should be, then ‘shithood’ is where we end up  until we understand how thinking effects how we feel and behave.  The world is no good, others are no good and/or you are no good  equals ‘SHITHOOD!” ‘Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.’ Shakespeare (Hamlet) The Have a Go S...

Have a Go Spaghettio! Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy and General Semantics

  Have a Go Spaghettio! teaches children that something about them, 'good' or 'bad' doesn't define them in a global sense. Yet, they/we learn to abstract something, be it a competency or quality, from the many that constitute the 'self' under construction, and decide it 'is' us, we are it! Hence, children can start to think of themselves as good/bad, cute, dumb, ugly etc. Emotional and behavioural upset experienced by the young child, according to Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy theory, on which Have a Go Spaghettio! is based, is linked to irrational, Brain Bully/Success Stopper thinking.   The belief we can be dumb/smart etc. is what General Semantics calls a 'semantic disturbance,' where the persons upset is caused by mis interpretations, mis perceptions.   Brain Friend thinking is taught via the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to social and emotional well-being which says the person cannot 'be' a word ascribed them by the...

Have a Go Spaghettio! Teaching children about Brain Bully Thinking and w...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review, reminder that irrational BB thinking is unhelpful thinking and this can be taught explicitly in the teaching and learning context. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, says the future of psychotherapy is in the school system. With the Have a Go approach, it has arrived in early childhood learning. Irrational thinking is that which stops us getting the results we desire or prefer. It dismisses or is ignorant of the reality that sometimes we may not get what we strongly desire to have; people to like us, to do well at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t be catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BB belief we are not OK if others think otherwise is an irrational perspective on the worth we apportion to our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist not because someone else says we are! Some children will be constructing BB beliefs that undermine their confidence and sense of agency impacting their psychologi...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Approach to Teaching Success Helper, Brain Fr...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review, reminder that rational BF thinking can be taught explicitly in the teaching and learning context. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, says the future of psychotherapy is in the school system. With the Have a Go approach, it has arrived in early childhood learning. Rational thinking is that which helps us get the results we desire or prefer. It accommodates the reality that sometimes we may not get what we strongly desire to have; people to like us, to do well at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t be catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BF belief we are OK even if others think otherwise is a rational perspective on the worth we apportion to our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist not because someone else says we are! We can help children develop this habit of thinking so it becomes intuitive, automatic, and deeply held. Some children will be constructing such a belief others may not be but ...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Approach to Bullying

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Approach to SEL embodies the thinking and ideas of Dr. Albert Ellis who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. His ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is a counselling paradigm used universally to help people navigate their way through life. Here we consider Bullying and how we can best address it as educators in the early childhood context. Jonas Salk hypothesised that we could psychologically immunise our students so that they develop optimum positive mental health. We again revisit the red 'I'm worthwhile crocodile!' habit of thinking which underpins personal agency, assertion, and overall confidence. This video puts forth how the Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator can foster, encourage, and reinforce a mindset that will empower the young child in dealing with challenge, particularly with bullying. Have a go Spaghettio! helps to psychologically immunise our young children against the scourge of bullying as suggested by Jonas...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach classroom setup

This video is another look at setting up the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper classroom. It offers classroom strategies that help to acquaint children with the think, feel, do connection a la Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. Give it a try banana pie! The Success Helper Well Being Framework has been adopted by many schools in Australia. It embodies the thinking and ideas of Dr. Albert Ellis who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. His ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is a counselling paradigm used universally to help people navigate their way through life. Ellis' therapeutic approach to wellbeing, mental health promotion/education is influenced by Stoic philosophy, Alfred Korzybski's General Semantics theory, Bertrand Russell's ideas and many more who teach that thinking, feeling, and behaving are all interconnected. The Success Helper Well Being Framework teaches children that they have the potential to manage their extreme and often self-defeating emotions...

'I'm Angry!' Supporting a young person via Have a the Go Spaghettio! approach

Children can express anger through ‘meltdowns’, aggressive behaviour which indicate difficulty in regulating their emotions. The child is attempting to interpret/make sense of what’s happening around them, learning to self-regulate hopefully in time. They are learning to manage their emotions and Have a Go Spaghettio! can help!

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Approach to It’s Not Fair!

Children may feel frustrated, upset, or disappointed when they perceive that they are being treated unfairly, whether in games, at home, or in social situations. Saying ‘that's not fair!’ is a way for them to articulate how they feel. The belief ‘it’s not fair’ is driving those emotions according to the ABC Theory of Emotional (and behavioural disturbance). How strong are they? If children believe that ‘it’ whatever ‘it’ may be ‘is’ unfair, they may be applying a developing philosophy that is rigid in nature, that things ‘must’ pan out as it should. Anything deemed unfair, its unfairness, depends on how it is viewed, perceived, interpreted. Applying a ‘must’ rule, demanding that wants and desires are met immediately, will cause heightened upset. An attitude of preference over demand will allow the child to keep things in perspective i.e., this happening is uninvited but in the scheme of things its not a big problem. The thing that’s ‘unfair’ is received as an inconvenience rather t...

A Have a Go Spaghettio! Way to Help Edward the Emu Who Wants to Be What He's Not!

Edward is an ordinary emu nobody is interested in at the zoo. He tries to be every other animal in the zoo but he’s still not popular like the other animals. He realises in the end that he’s an emu and he accepts that fact. This story is analysed through the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance lens as per the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to psychological, emotional, and behavioural wellbeing. The ABC theory offers a way of considering the emotional and behavioural dispositions of characters and how they relate to thinking or the perception of events. Children can think about what’s happening to a third party and make connections to their own lives. So Have a Go Spaghettio! and Give it a Try Banana Pie!  

Albert Ellis and Shithood

Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) said that embedded irrational habits of thinking can place one in a state of 'shithood.' Known for his linguistic flair, his colourful turns of phrase drove home the REBT message that how we think about things can determine how e.g., upset we become or our state of 'upsetness' as he would say.  Our 'upsetness' and the 'shithood' it places us in, Ellis suggests, is self-imposed to a large degree. If we believe, irrationally, that people and things beyond us, 'give us the shits' as it is commonly claimed in my neck of the woods, then, could it be linked to Sustained Habits of Irrational Thinking Syndrome? Do we give ourselves 'the shits?' The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to wellbeing helps early childhood students understand how we contribute to the degree of our own upset experienced in most cases and this is done by engaging irrational, Success Stopp...

An Early Childhood Student Presents with Pervasive Sadness - could it be depression?

Have a Go Spaghettio! introduces psychotherapy into the early childhood school and classroom. Albert Ellis advocated for the application of REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) in daily teaching practice. This acquaints young learners with their thinking nature as constructivists who are forging their own ideas about how the world works. The closer their constructed ideas reflect the reality of how the world works, the better they are equipped to navigate the road ahead.    Success Helper thinking supports SH helper feelings and behaviours. Unconditional self-acceptance. the idea that there are no conditions attached to our worth, is represented by the 'I'm worthwhile crocodile' Red Success Helper. It helps young ones maintain a positive sense of self especially when things don't go so well for them.  Have a Go Spaghettio! 

I'm Worthwhile Crocodile Thinking - nothings good or bad but thinking makes it so!

  ‘Nothing’s good or bad but thinking makes it so’ says Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Alfred Korzybski said the ‘word is not the thing.’ If a child is not good or bad intrinsically but somehow determines they can be they’re not thinking straight according to Dr. Albert Ellis and others. Doing something well does not somehow suggest that it reflects how ‘good’ we are, that we are ‘good’ for doing good. Isn’t it more accurate to believe that ‘I did Ok’ but that has nothing to do with my OK ness? Believing we’re OK when we do well or others deem us to ‘be’ OK is what Ellis calls self – esteem, where he argues, we feel good when we do good or when others approve of us. He calls this conditional self-acceptance, where self-worth is determined externally; an externally controlled and determined sense of the self, good or bad. Unconditional self-acceptance regards the ‘self’ consistently as one of worth even if one does good or bad or when others approve of us or disapprove of us. We accept ourse...

Have a Go Spaghettio! I'm worthwhile crocodile!

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to Social Emotional Learning is informed by Dr. Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance and Alfred Korzybski's General Semantics Theory amongst others. Dr. Ellis created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) and said the future of psychotherapy in the school system. The Have a Go Spaghettio! chart represents the competencies and capabilities that help us achieve our goals, develop confidence and respect for self and others. The goal is to introduce the early childhood learner to their thinking nature and to help them underrated that thinking, feeling and behaving are linked to each other. For instance the Red Success Helper, 'I'm worthwhile crocodile!' represents REBT's unconditional self acceptance, the idea that a persons worth is not tethered to how others view them i.e., that they are not what others might deem them to be e.g., dumb, smart etc. Self approval is important and learning to need t...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Chart for Early Childhood

This is a short video about a an approach to teaching the fundamental principles of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy to young learners in early childhood. It's tried and tested and many early childhood teachers say it is well received by students. Teachers relate that students pick up the language readily and enjoy the songs that reinforce key concepts. Albert Ellis, the creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy said: "l read your presentation on 'Have a Go Spaghettio!' a resilience building program for young learners. It seems to hit the spot and be excellent for your young audience." Give it a go (Spaghettio!) and let me know how you goeeoh!  

Ms Prudence Putty-Nose Needs an Ambulance

Ms Prudence Putty Nose wanted to impress her colleagues and her line managers, to demonstrate her dedication to her job and to illustrate just how much of a hit she was taking for the good cause. She pondered a while and considered how she might best get the attention of the esteemers and sycophants, her narcissist suppliers, to keep her fragile ego buoyant. She had been under a fair bit of pressure as she'd been planning the demise of a colleague whose position she coveted and as her line manager also wanted him gone, they concocted a plan to get rid of him. Deceit and unethical collusion with co conspirators was a debilitating and tiring endeavour but it could be used to her advantage. So what did she do? She gathered her close and trusted sycophant others to her office and declared she had been feeling dizzy and needed to lie down. She suggested she may need an ambulance as she had been under a fair deal of pressure. They pandered to her of course and diligently phoned for an am...

Doing is Not Being! REBT and General Semantics

A global rating of another's worth is when a quality or characteristic or behaviour is abstracted from all the competencies and traits possessed by an individual and is then used to assess a person's entire personhood. For example, deciding a person is 'bad' because they do something we don't approve of e.g., they didn't wave back! When discussing this with a teacher colleague, she notes that there are several fellow educators she works with who label some students in negative global rating terms, suggesting that ‘that’s the way they are’ and that they will not change. These observations concur with my own experience as a teacher and counsellor, where a ‘fixed mindset’ mentality affects how some teachers behave towards their students, projecting a conditional acceptance of the other attitude, defining student worth in a negative way. The word is not the thing. Alfred Korzybski Albert Ellis, who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, spoke of uncondition...

The Word is Not the Person! General Semantics

Alfred Korzybski of General Semantics says that we ought to be more thoughtful about the language we use and to be mindful of the messages we are trying to convey. Too many and inappropriate words can confuse understanding and he suggests that we develop a scientist sensibility (Korzybski, 2000) for listening. He talks about creating a verbal pollution free zone by asking three questions that encourage specific answers. They are: 1. What do you mean? 2. How do you know? 3. What did you leave out? Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, created by Dr. Albert Ellis, incorporates Alfred Korzybski's ideas in his approach to psychotherapy and can be applied in counselling practice when working with young students. Mary is an early childhood student who is not travelling OK. The teacher says she is self-critical and doesn't want to do things.  We talk about Brain Friend and Brain Bully thinking. BF makes OK feelings and behaviours and BB causes us to feel not OK and we don...

Teachers who bully teachers!

It is my experience that no matter how competent, experienced, or well credentialed an educator might be if your face doesn't fit you may as well look elsewhere if you're a teacher dedicated to teaching students. I've heard of teachers targeted because of their teaching competency, their popularity with students and staff. I'm speaking of the jealous and vindictive narcissist other, who cannot accept nor appreciate those by whom they are threatened. A narcissist inclined person at a school I've heard of could not contemplate that a colleague could be so popular, vivacious, and highly respected amongst staff, students, and parents. They intentionally set out to undermine and besmirch the character of their target. How was this done? The narcissist protagonist surfed the internet to get background information on their quarry, downloaded pictures and passed them on to leadership. This information was used to bully and intimidate them. I'm told they were slut sh...

The ABC’s of REBE - Rational Emotive Behaviour Education

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education (REBE) is a powerful teaching tool to use in the classroom at any level. It is based on REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy). It’s been around a long time, and  started out as RET (Rational Emotive Therapy) in the 1960’s. Dr. Albert Ellis created the theory and his counselling paradigm, the ABC Theory of Emotional (and behavioural) Disturbance, provides us with a framework for our teaching and counselling practice. As with all effective teaching it helps to know what we are doing and why. So, step one in our learning journey would be to understand what the ABC Theory is. ABC easy as 1,2,3… It might appear easy, but there’s more to it than meets the eye. And therein lies the genius of Albert Ellis as he took all his reading, thinking and psychotherapy practice and put it into a little package, a formula for us to use in the classroom. Indeed, Albert Ellis said a long time ago that: ‘The future of psychotherapy is in the school system.’ So, a...