The Brain and Thinking - early childhood focus

Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA) is a useful anti self disturbance belief resource developed by the grandfather of cognitive therapy, Dr Albert Ellis. He understood he was imperfect but he determined early on in the piece that despite his flaws he was always OK. OK, according to the gospel of St. Albert meant that he and everyone else could believe their way into unconditionally accepting themselves.

Unconditional self-acceptance renders a person psychologically resistant to the slings and arrows that others may cast their way in the form of put down, harsh criticisms; unfair and damning, and all manner of failings and personal imperfections.

This of course comes with practice and determination, vigilance and hard work. So how does one become self-accepting? This has been the focus of many or most of this blog content e.g Unconditional Self-Acceptance, but in a nutshell USA is knowing that a persons worth is not negotiable; it's a given, we're born with it!

However people are suggestible and are continually making sense of what's happening around them. If we receive information from around us, especially from significant others, which encourages and values our person we can learn to see ourselves in a positive light. If our carers and mentors address what we do and not who we are, we learn not to define ourselves, ascribe our total worth to aspects or personal traits we have developed. Be they good or bad we are not them. We can act badly and not 'be' bad and we can act 'goodly' and not 'be' good.

If on the other hand our mentors and significant others tell us we are bad because we do bad e.g. 'You are hopeless. You never do anything right!' we put two and two together and we compute four to mean, irrationally, that we are bad when we do bad etc.

These ideas can be taught successfully to younger folk in early childhood settings and the video below suggest we start off by establishing that as thinkers we direct and control how we feel and behave in response to life events. Our thinking can be helpful or unhelpful and these and other things will be explored through this video and others which will consider how we can help younger children to be happier and healthier unconditional self-accepters!

'Performativity, Identity and Teacher Mental Health

Since NAPLAN was introduced ten years ago reading and numeracy have improved slightly and writing skills have gone down and despite all the resources that have been invested in our system of education we haven’t hit the lofty heights of excellence we were hoping for. School performance in NAPLAN it is accepted, reflects best teaching practise so teachers and students are under considerable pressure to perform.

NAPLAN was the solution to a declared ‘crisis’ in education so we wouldn’t be ‘left behind’ our international peers. Educational discourse centred on concepts of ‘failure’, ‘crisis’, ‘measurement’, ‘benchmarks’, ‘assessment’, ‘reporting’, ‘good/bad teacher/student.’ Teacher’s professional worth was and continues to be questioned and discussed in the public arena. What makes a ‘good’ teacher? If teachers aren’t ‘good’ then are they ‘bad?’ ‘Bad’ teachers are the cause of falling standards etc. Greg Thompson asserts in The International Education Journal: Comparative Perspectives:

‘In Australia, one of the key motivations for a national testing regime has been the various discourses surrounding the “quality” of teachers in Australian schools, and a sense of some real or imagined crisis impacting on Australian education.’

Continued and persistent focus on what a ‘good’ teacher is and how can we lift ‘teacher capability’ to teach will weigh heavily on the minds of teachers in every school and in every classroom. An established regime of accountability has promoted what Susan E. Noffke describes ‘a culture of performativity’ in education driven by neo- liberal policies:

‘… the widespread influence of neo-liberal policies which have resulted in a culture of ‘performativity’ (Ball, 2003). One prominent example is the attempt to reduce the parameters of educational work to doing only that which results in gains in the narrow band of standardised achievement test, and the ‘mapping’ of curriculum and instructional strategies against that which is tested.’

Teachers are under pressure to perform according to set guidelines and this can be confirmed in casual conversation with educators in any school setting. I won't expand on the link between neo liberal policies and its effects but suffice it to say I do believe that the work of the teacher is very much linked to an agenda that is far removed from the classroom and the experience of the teacher and learner in the school setting.

How does this continued spotlight on the teacher effect general health and wellbeing? I would like to consider this in the light of the REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) counselling model. Albert Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance embodies the wisdom of many thinkers over the millennia e.g. The Stoic Philosophers, Karen Horney, Alfred Koryzybski and others. 

 

The ABC Theory is a philosophy based counselling model which posits that when something happens (A) there is a behavioural and emotional consequence (C). The children I work with often have an A=C philosophy which says ‘I am angry (C) because she said I couldn’t join in (A)! Ellis said that how we feel and act at (C) can be regulated by how we interpret/perceive/estimate what has happened at (A). This part of the equation (B) alerts us to the cognitive component which drives the strength of the emotion we feel and the kinds of behavioural choices we make.

Dr Albert Ellis, creator of REBT

In the counselling situation we want to help the student move form an A = C philosophy to an A x B = C philosophy or way of thinking. This helps the child/adult understand that he/she is an active agent in making feelings and choosing behaviours.

If a person’s worth is challenged and questioned incessantly either explicitly or by implication this can begin to unsettle a person’s view of self. This in turn will affect how the person deals with difficult and challenging situations, the (A) part of the equation.

Confidence is an essential personal quality that is a buffer, a protective factor against the adversities that we all inevitably are called on to deal with. It is constructed over time and like a wall which is well constructed it will be tested by all manner of assault and if it’s strong it will prevail. However even the strongest of walls can be breached and compromised to the point of failing.

What is confidence? It’s a way of behaving, a projection of a certain sense of comfort with oneself that allows for healthy risk taking to work towards set personal and professional goals. She who feels confident will also deal with adversities constructively. What we see behaviourally and emotionally and which we call confidence is underwritten by an internal, deeply placed habit of thinking/believing. It is what Ellis calls ‘unconditional self-acceptance’ a steadfast belief that one cannot be defined by the opinion of others or how one performs in a general sense. In other words someone’s idea about you does not and cannot define the essence of who you are. Nor can failing at a task define you as a failure. This is the ‘psychological wall’ of self-acceptance constructed over time.

Unconditional Self Acceptance - Albert Ellis

However the foundations of this belief can be rattled under the weight of persistent judgement and appraisal based on ‘key performance indicators’ in a regime of testing and accountability which is so much the reality of the teaching and learning experience according to many.

Can someone’s idea of self-worth be rearranged, reconfigured under such relentless pressure? It seems this can be the case according to many who feel they are performing to the beat of someone else’s drum. They do not feel in control, they lack autonomy in what they do.  Stephen J Ball in The teacher's soul and the terrors of performativity says that the teacher is left to question her worth as a teacher experiencing:

‘…. guilt, uncertainty, instability and the emergence of a new subjectivity. What Bernstein (2000: 1942) calls ‘mechanisms of introjection’ whereby ‘the identity finds its core in its place in an organisation of knowledge and practice’ are here being threatened by or replaced by ‘mechanisms of projection’, that is an ‘identity is a reflection of external contingencies’ (Bernstein 2000: 1942).’

 

I regard this ‘new subjectivity’ to mean a shift in the foundation belief of unconditional self-acceptance to a new and shaky assessment of self to be a conditional one. This habit of thinking /believing i.e. ‘I am only OK if … my kids perform well, if my line manager thinks I’m going OK, if the regional director is happy with how the schools heading etc. Self-doubt may creep into her mind about her ability to ‘be’ a ‘good’ teacher. What do her colleagues think of her? Will she be asked to enter into some capability building exercise to bring her up to standard? And how will others view this?

Albert Ellis would say that the teacher has shifted from a position of strong self-worth to one of conditional self-worth where she only feels validated when she meets the expectations of a teaching regime that is laid out before her. What can she do? She can challenge the status quo and articulate her concerns about how things are going and how she feels about things. But how will this be received? She may think that she will be regarded as ‘the problem’ and that she will have to lift her game. She will have to lift her level of expertise to that of the ‘good,’ the ‘quality’ teacher. Is there a place for constructive criticism to be expressed without fear of judgement? Is there a sense that what people have to say is valued?

Teacher mental and overall health and well-being is challenged in the present climate of teaching and learning. The culture of performativity can for some, undermine their sense of confidence where their view of self is challenged because the system says they’re in effect no good!

In conclusion concerns are held for personnel at every level who suffer under the weight of the ‘reform solutions’ that have been determined for them in response to the ‘crisis’ we have in education. The Conversation reminds us that:

‘Over the past decade, the policy landscape has become riddled with reform “solutions”. These subject students, teachers, administrators and policymakers to mounting levels of pressure and stress. The short-term cyclical churn of today’s politics and media clearly exacerbates these problems.’

When You Have the World at Your Feet - REBT and feeling OK

Delilah Types shares some thoughts about depression. It was prompted by recent media reports about swim Olympian Grant Hackett and his ongoing struggle with his mental health. 'Delilah' has had her own challenges which she has shared with us in her blog.

Some reports seem to express surprise that someone so talented and gifted and who presumably has substantial material wealth could possibly fall victim to depression. Others will say that depression will strike anyone any time no matter what their personal circumstances, material or otherwise. When the world is (seemingly) at their feet!

Dr. Albert Ellis (creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) said that as constructivists we actively create our own habits of thinking. He maintains that our personal beliefs (knowledge) about ourselves, others and life (our personal philosophies) in general will affect how we respond emotionally and behaviourally to challenging events.

If we accept this theory then we can argue that any 2 people who have e.g. performed badly at a job interview, will experience the situation differently.

Event:

Poor interview performance

Thinking reaction:

Person 1: That was a shit interview. I'm a hopeless twat. What's the point!

Person 2: That didn't go so well. I may have to lift my game. Back to the drawing board.

Feelings/behaviour reaction:

Person 1: Depressed, angry and ashamed - excessive drinking, self harming

Person 2: Disappointed, annoyed - life as usual, review past performance and refine, fine tune

The same event is experienced differently by these two people. Why? Because they have constructed different 'belief rules,'  i.e. personal philosophies that are linked to how they feel and how they behave in response to life's happenings.

I don't know Grant Hackett but I can suggest an explanation as to why he may be feeling depressed and angry according to REBT.

He has been conditioned from an early age to hone and develop his athletic capacities to an elite level. He has learnt that his worth is linked to his and others high expectations of him. He has learnt to expect nothing less than his best times and performances and he believes that people rely on his prowess and achievements to feel good about themselves. He doesn't want to let them down. Their view of him becomes his main motivation for his drive to be consistently excellent. He doesn't just desire others approval he needs it. He will as a fallible human being fall short of his own high expectations and it is how he responds to these disappointments which is key to his well being.

Unconditional self acceptance is the antidote to self downing and feelings associated with low self worth. The hallmark of the perfectionist is to put all her self worth eggs in the same self worth basket which puts her on track to be the proverbial basket case! (I must do well. People should always think well of me). 

Developing and cultivating unconditional self acceptance is the goal. It can be a long road to wellness but it can be achieved by working hard at it.

In a sense we are the architects of our own depression; no one or nothing makes us feel as low as we get. It is how we estimate our worth as human beings that determines how we respond to failure. Can we be good? Can we be bad? Are not being and doing different? What's the difference between I am bad and I've done badly? If I am not what I do how can I be a failure for not doing well at that interview? Or If I am what I do then failing at an interview will mean I am a failure (I am what I have done ie a failure)!

These are the philosophical questions that we can choose to engage with because only in doing this will we be able the challenge and change those unrealistic and irrational ideas about ourselves and consequently we will feel better and act more self helpfully.

An Anxious Adolescent - part 2

This 14 year old student has had a reasonable week. He has been aware of how his anxiety has ebbed and flowed in his interactions with others and is monitoring his self-talk. He is very careful about what he says and how he says it and is quick to help and encourage others with enthusiasm. Other students have commented that he is ‘overly helpful and encouraging’ at times and would prefer he ‘relax a bit.’

Counsellor: G’day. How’s it going?

Student: I’m fine. I’ve been thinking about our last chat and I think it’s true that I worry too much about what others think.

Counsellor: You’re not alone, and it’s useful that you have been thinking about your anxiety and what might be causing it. Last time we spoke we talked about ‘needing the approval of others.’ Do you recall?

Student: Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I do want to be liked by others. Isn’t it OK to want be liked by everyone?

Counsellor: Can you be liked by everyone? Do you think this is a reasonable expectation to have of others?

Student: I try hard not to offend anyone so shouldn’t they think well of me?

Counsellor: Want and need are interesting ideas. Can you see a difference between the two?

Student: Yes I think need is stronger than want, like you need water to survive but you don’t need to have chocolate. Without water you will die but without chocolate you can still survive!

Counsellor: Well explained. What is the difference between wanting to have others like and respect you and needing others to like and respect you?

Student: I get what you mean. I’m into needing others to like me, like I will die if they don’t! That’s what’s going on with me, that’s why I feel so bad when other people seem not to like me. That’s why I try hard to please them!

Counsellor: I think you are working it out pretty well. You have identified a belief or rule that you have that is not helpful to you because your anxiety is linked to this rule. Do you know what your rule might be?

Student: I have an idea that it’s something to do with my need for others to approve of me. Am I warm?

Counsellor: You are very warm, hot even. Can you begin saying your rule with: ‘I need the..

Student: OK. I need the approval of others.

Counsellor: Yes but why?

Student: I need them to like me so I can feel good about myself.

Counsellor: Yes indeed. Well done! And when you don’t get the recognition or approval you ‘need’ how do you feel? And how does this effect your life?

Student: I feel really anxious and I can’t concentrate on anything because I have made someone upset.

Counsellor: Well done! You’re beginning to understand where your anxiety comes from. You have worked out what your feelings and behaviours are connected to. What would that be?

Student: That would be my rule wouldn’t it?

Counsellor: Yes or belief. Tell me what your rule is but instead of beginning with ‘my rule is’ use ‘I believe that’ instead.

Student: OK. I believe that I need the approval of others for me to feel OK. How’s that?

Counsellor: So who or what is ‘making’ your anxiety?

Student: I think my rule or belief makes my anxiety. Would that be right?

Counsellor: Yes I agree that you have developed a MUST belief. People you like and respect MUST like and respect you but ‘must’ they? Can they?

Student: I’m beginning to understand that I can’t expect everyone I like to like me but it’s hard for me to accept this. But it makes sense.

Counsellor: It might make sense but you have been practicing this MUST rule all your life and it will be difficult to replace it with a healthier more sensible rule.

Student: What would that be?

Counsellor: You might want chocolate but you don’t have to have it. You might want their approval but you don’t have to have it to be OK. How could you express the notion that you might want chocolate but you don’t absolutely need it? Clue - use ‘prefer’ in your sentence!

Student: OK. I would prefer to have some chocolate but I don’t have to have it. I prefer people I like to like me but they don’t have to.

Counsellor: Will you die of you don’t get any chocolate? Will you die if someone you like doesn’t like you? Would it be so awful that you couldn’t stand it?

Student: No I wouldn’t die and I could stand it but I wouldn’t like it, I still wouldn’t like it!

Counsellor: No it would be bad but not so bad that you couldn’t stand it. You can’t always get what you want and that’s true don’t you think? You might not get what you want (them to like you) but you are still OK even if they don’t. We will talk about this further in the next session. Well done.

I had intended to talk about Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA) but I have taken a while to get to this point. The student has shown considerable insight into what he believes (his philosophy) and how this drives his anxiety. Intellectually he understands what’s going on, he can talk the talk. But it will be a while and take a lot of hard work before he will automatically walk it. This is called emotional insight and we will continue with this case study in the next post. This is Rational Emotive Behaviour Education at work. Good one Dr. Ellis!

An Anxious Adolescent - part 1

This is a transcript of a series of 3 counselling sessions I had with a year 10 student. I used Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance to help him. I am a Rational Emotive Behaviour Counsellor.

This student feels anxious over something that has happened. He asked another student if he had a problem (are you OK? Can I help?). This was misinterpreted (what do you mean I have a problem?) and he responded aggressively. The student was taken aback and then began to mull over the response he received. He asked a trusted teacher if the esteem in which other teachers held him was now diminished. The teacher said not in any way but the student remained preoccupied and went to see the counsellor outlining what had happened and how best to deal with the situation.

In the counsellors office

Student: I am concerned about how a student responded to me. I am caring and I didn’t intend to offend him when I asked him how he felt and if I could help. I am worried that he thinks I intended to offend him. I want to be a nurse one day; everyone knows I like to help.

Counsellor: So you asked him if he had a problem and he didn’t appreciate the questions. He felt annoyed. Is that right?

Student: Yes and I don’t understand why he felt that way. Anyone who knows me would say that I am caring and I am genuine when I ask how someone is.

Counsellor: You are caring and considerate of others generally and you are known for this. One individual has interpreted your intentions in a negative way and you feel upset and worried about this.

Student: Yes I do. I asked Mr S. if the other teachers would think less of me because I have offended someone. I am worried about this.

Counsellor: Using the Emotional Thermometer how would you rate the intensity of how you feel? How strong is your worry?

Student: It is around 9/10.

Counsellor: That’s strong. How often do you feel like this and for how long?

Student: Most of the time I feel anxious about things.

Counsellor: How does this affect your day-to-day life? Does it help you achieve your goals or get in the way?

Student: I can’t focus on what I have to do.

Counsellor: That would be stronger than concern or worry. Do you know what

anxiety is?

Student: Yes I do.

Counsellor: From what you tell me you feel anxious a lot of the time because you want everyone to like you and you think it would be terrible if anyone thought badly of you. You really care about what others think of you.  Do you think you care too much? Do you need other people to approve of you for you to feel OK?

Student: How did you know that?

Counsellor: The belief that ‘I am OK only if others think I am’ is an unhealthy belief because it stops you from working towards your goals. You feel nervous and worried a lot of the time (unhealthy negative feelings) because you think it would be terrible if anyone knew you made mistakes or didn’t seem to approve of you.

Student: This stops me from being successful because I can’t concentrate on my work because I feel very worried a lot of the time! I worry too much about what others think of me but I can’t seem to stop doing this.

Counsellor: You have the tendency to believe that everyone must like you because you are a likeable and caring person and others should recognise this. Is this fair to say?

Student: Yeah. I just can’t handle it. What can I do?

Counsellor: We will look at your belief that you need everyone’s approval to be OK and why this is keeping you anxious. We will work on this next time we meet. In the meantime remind yourself that you don’t need other people’s approval to be OK. You can prefer it but you don’t need it.

When the Shit Hits the Fan - REBT, kids and self regulation

Shit and fans have been part of our vernacular for as long as I can remember. Pear and shaped ditto. These words together help describe colloquially situations that are unwelcome. Pain and arse also come to mind!

What to do when the proverbial hits the wotsit? The amount of the proverbial and size of the fan is significant; how big is the problem? The amount and size is relative to how we may perceive the situation or how we 'estimate' the severity of it! As Marcus Aurelius said: 

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” 

Is the problem of catastrophic proportions, pretty big or just a pain? Young children find it useful to learn about the catastrophe scale. This scale helps them see how problems can be arranged in terms of how big/significant they are to the young person. They learn to ask themselves 'is it as bad as..?' If not then this little shift in thinking will have a beneficial payoff i.e. 'this isn't as bad as I initially thought it was and now I feel less angry/sad..'

Learning how to regulate emotional and behavioural responses to situations requires some insight into how thinking is connected to feeling and behaving. Daily teaching of this will help the child develop a habit of stopping, establishing how she feels at a particular moment and then to ask 'what am I thinking/what am I telling myself about this problem? (what is my estimate of what's happening?). The child will become well practised in judging the badness of what is happening according to her own constructed catastrophe scale.

Of course in practising this yourself you are also teaching those around you. Your children are always watching you!

REBT and Mind Stretch - learning how to struggle

Mind stretch or mind stretching has entered the lexicon of learning and teaching in recent times. DECD (Department of Education and Child Development) identifies this personal capability as being crucial to achieving learning goals.

Joan Moran explains here Joan Moran: 7 Tips to Stretch Your Mind at Any Age what she believes to be the elements of mind stretch ability. Her yoga practise and life experience has taught her some essential insights into how to get the best out of her physical and psychological selves.

One essential personal capability Joan suggests we hone is learning how to tune into what we are saying to ourselves; our self talk.

What is self talk and why is it important to teach our children? Simply self talk is the dialogue you have with yourself in your head. The concept of 'mind' is harder to define. 'What's on your mind?' you may ask. 'What are you thinking?' 'What are you thinking or saying to yourself?' The 'mind the gap' pronouncement when alighting the train reminds us to be careful and so on.

To be mindful is to be aware and self talk is something to be aware of because what we say to ourselves determines the actions we choose and the emotions we experience. Or does it? Perhaps but that's not the whole story.

I think the kind of our self talk habits is a reflection of the deep philosophical beliefs we hold and it is they which drive our actions and feelings. In other words I think our self talk is the expression of deeper held convictions (personal philosophies about me, others and the world in general).

Stretching the mind incurs risk taking: taking a leap of faith from what you know to new understandings (linking new learning to old to make new and different meanings). The skill of the teacher is to determine where the learner is and provide learning experiences that will entice the learner to strive for new, unchartered realms of knowing and experience. What we talk to ourselves about reflects what we 'know' about ourselves from our experiences to date (what we have learned).

New learning then engenders some discomfort, disorder when things don't seem the same. We may feel agitated and anxious trying to work out where this new stuff fits in with the old. We may not like how we feel but we 'muck in' anyway or we can feel so overawed that we panic and recoil from the challenge because it is so strange and alien to us. The more we are coaxed to the edge of our thinking the scarier learning can be. Do we engage with curiosity and enthusiasm for the unknown? Or do we disengage and demur, yield to the scary and mysterious?

Just thinking!

So mind stretching will help us expand our knowledge and capabilities and we will gain some sense of academic and personal confidence on the way. After all if we don't take chances how are we ever to realise our potential? But what if the learner considers the gap between what she knows and what she doesn't to be more of a gigantic chasm than a gap and the leap into the new and unknown is perceived to be too scary to even contemplate. What can she do?

Perception is the key. How does she perceive herself as a learner? Does she have a strong sense of self worth and self efficacy? (the belief that she can achieve set goals as described by Albert Bandura) Can she hang tough in difficult situations where nothing seems to make sense?

The ability to stretch the mind and to take that leap of learning faith into the chaos and struggle of the unknown can be either embraced or rejected depending on the kind of psychological muscle one has developed and can draw on in tough times.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education (REBE) is the school wide application of Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance. Helping children develop the personal capabilities to engage in 'mind stretch' activities is the work of teachers at Para Hills School P-7 and many others in South Australia. REBE teaches:

• We are constructivists
• We construct helpful (self and other) rational ways of thinking/believing or unhelpful irrational ones
• We can challenge and change (deconstruct) old unhelpful ways of thinking and reconstruct more helpful ones
• We are always worthwhile
• We can achieve our goals with hard work and self belief

'State of mind' teaching and learning (REBE) and the ability to 'mind stretch' are inextricably linked.

The 'What If?' of Learner Engagement - intellectual stretch and Rational Emotive Behaviour Education

DECD (Department of Education and Child Development) hosted a day of professional learning for the Montague partnership of schools. There were about 400 people there at SFERA's (a conference centre in Modbury, South Australia)

The topic was on learning and teaching in general and how we as teachers can challenge and change personal philosophies on learning. How can we engage students more to enhance their capacity to see discomfort as something essential for building on existing knowledge and capabilities; to realise new meanings and understandings. Guest speakers used many interesting terms to put across similar ideas like:

• 'intellectual stretch' - raising intellectual demand of the task
• to bring students to the 'edge of their thinking'
• encourage self directed questioning
• Mind growth - develop the 'psychological muscle' to hang tough
• Metacognitive strategies to 'enhance the ability to solve complex, unfamiliar and non-routine tasks.'

Professor Martin Westwell spoke eloquently and very humorously about how a learning task can engage learners more with the 'what if?' type of question. He used the example of the alimentary canal. What is it? What does it do? and other 'what's the answer' questions. What if there's no answer at this point! The professor gave the example of a student who asked 'what if there was no bumhole?' You can imagine how this would have inspired noisy mirth but the question if acknowledged would generate excited speculation and the children would take intellectual flight in all directions! This link will expand on these and other ideas presented on the day. Leading learning in South Australia, DECD

Professor Martin Westwell

So what do students know? What will they learn? Intellectual stretch for me is cognitive, emotional and behavioural struggle. Dipping ones learning toe in the waters of uncertainty and discomfort and becoming immersed in a world of authentic and new learning- appreciating that engagement in learning involves struggle and adventure and builds the psychological muscle and memory for the future.

There are many schools which have adopted a whole school approach to helping students develop the personal capacities to better engage in learning. It is based on a counselling model and is a psychological muscle builder. It reflects strongly the ideas put forth in the literature and discussion of the day. It is Rational Emotive Behaviour Education and it helps children develop an A+B=C philosophy i.e. How I feel and behave at C is linked to how I think at B - the think feel do connection.

So how do we caringly throw children into the deep end of learning, where they will struggle to attach new concepts to old? When do we back off our tendency to 'over scaffold' learning and to travel the conservative road of safe routines and predictable learning content? When do we take away the stress inducing need for finding the right answer when there are questions which haven't been asked yet - what if?

What if?

These questions are raised for us to ponder? What if?

What is REBT? What does it do?

I'm running a program of workshops throughout the year. The first was a success I'm happy to relate. Without exception all participants said that Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance has great potential for students in schools, educatively and therapeutically. They left the one hour session with a powerful tool to teach their students how as constructivists they can learn to manage themselves more effectively to make themselves 'less self disturbable' as Albert Ellis said.

The next workshop we look at a favourite book character Franklin the Turtle and examine how he can help himself deal with disappointment via the REBT model.

What does REBT offer students and us alike? Here's a few benefits to be had:

 - We learn that as constructivists we have constructed our own should ought and must beliefs

 - We learn to unlearn these (deconstruct) ways of ‘estimating’ how ‘bad’ things are and develop a more realistic way of thinking

 - Anxiety becomes concern, depression becomes healthy sadness, anger becomes annoyed

 - We reconstruct our view of ourselves from ‘I’m OK if you think I am’ to ‘I’m OK even though you don’t think I am.’

 - We reconstruct our view of others from ‘You’re not OK’ to ‘You’re OK no matter what.’

 - We put the ‘badness’ of how things appear into perspective

 - We learn how to disturb ourselves less often.

EDUCATION PREVENTION THERAPY 

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education - dealing with disappointment healthily

There’s two students in the yard (kids 1 and 2). They’re playing one on one basketball. 

A game of one on one

Another person (3) approaches and asks to join in. He’s told as it’s a one on one game so another player isn’t needed. He waits a while and moves on. Another child comes by (4) and asks the same question and the basketball players say it’s a one on one and another player is not required. This is said respectfully and assertively to the third person. The news is not received well. This student (4) goes into a rage and throws their basketball away which ultimately comes to the notice of the teacher on yard duty. Student 4 is asked to sit out and is talked to for his behaviour.

Something happened in the lives of Kid 3 and Kid 4. They were both declined their request to join in the basketball game with 1 and 2. This is called the activating event, situation A.

So A = they didn’t let me join in.

Person 3 Felt OK about this. It (A) probably rated a 2 on the emotional thermometer. A little upset and disappointed perhaps, still in control. No hard feelings. He moved on after a while. No big deal.

Person 4 felt angry. It (A) rated an 8 on the emotional thermometer. It was a big deal. Catastrophic even. He made some average behavioural choices and was taken to task for it.

Did the situation (A) make the children do and feel as they did? If this was the case surely they would feel and act the same way? But we know person 3 was calm and person 4 was angry so A didn’t make their feelings and behaviours. We will call feelings and behaviours C i.e. the emotional and behavioural Consequence of A.

Person 3 said to another student that they didn’t let him join in. They were playing one on one. Three would be too many and that’s OK. This person accepted the situation calmly.

The emotional thermometer

Person 4 said to another student the kids wouldn’t let him join in. They made him angry. It was their fault!

Why the difference? Kid 3 is OK and kid 4 spat the dummy! What’s going on here?

According to REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) theory kids 3 and 4 have constructed contrasting philosophical perspectives. They have different thinking rules. We will call these thinking rules B for beliefs. What are they?

Kid 3 we would speculate has the following philosophical rule:

I don’t always have to get my. It’s rarely a catastrophe when I don’t. I can handle disappointments.

We would say that is a rational/reasonable/helpful/healthy view.

Kid 4 we would suggest according to REBT theory has the following philosophical rule:

I must always get my way. It’s a catastrophe when I don’t. It’s not fair and I can’t stand it!

We would say that is an irrational/unreasonable/unhelpful/unhealthy view.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education teaches students that thinking feeling and behaving are interconnected and that people’s experience of a situation emotionally and behaviourally is linked to their beliefs; their thinking rules.

According to REBT Kid 3 has the following perspective on life:

A + B = C where he will account for how he feels and behaves not solely as a consequence of A but my thinking B (me) has a lot to do with it.

According to REBT Kid 4 has the following perspective on life:

A=C When A happens IT (A) makes my feelings and behaviours. It's is not my fault!

One kids way of looking at things is healthy and the others is not so.

The ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance was created by Albert Ellis and is a very useful teaching tool.