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Showing posts with the label REBT REBE Education psychology counselling depression anxiety teaching learning well-being mental health rational irrational

Was Little Jack Horner a Good Boy?

Little Jack Horner suffered from extreme self esteem sickness. According to the nursery rhyme Jack believed he was a good boy because he achieved something. Little Jack Horner Sat in a corner  Eating a Christmas pie He put in his thumb And pulled out a plum And said, 'what a good boy am I.' When he did good he was good and presumably when he didn't do so well he believed he was bad. This is called conditional self acceptance, the belief that personal worth is tethered to how others esteem us or how well we do at things. Jack could be a victim of Severe Approval Dependence (SAD) and experience life as a series of highs and lows according to how others view him or how well or badly he performs at tasks. We will not as humans always succeed at doing well at tasks and we will inevitably at times fall short of our goals. We may not win the respect and affection of significant others on lifes journey either. What we can do is cutivate unconditional self acceptance in ourselves...

Musting Oughting and Shoulding

‘Musturbation’ is a term coined by Dr Albert Ellis to describe absolutist, black and white thinking/believing. Musturbatory thinking according to Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy theory is the kind of thinking that gives rise to extreme frustration anger and depression. This kind of thinking drives the unhealthy choices we are teaching our students about. The following habits of thinking are musturbatory: • I absolutely must get what I want (or not get what I don’t want) • Significant others must treat me well and do my bidding • Life should be easy If these absolutist demands are not being met then: • Life is so awful and I can’t stand it! It sucks! • People who behave shitily are shits! • When I behave shitily I am a shit! Musturbators will blame others and events for how they feel e.g. I only got an A- (perfectionistic leanings – I must be perfect), maths makes me angry (life must be easy), she didn’t let me join and she’s/life’s a shit (people/life must treat me ...