REBTOZ

Even the most competent and composed amongst us will say how we have battled or continue to battle our inner demons of self-doubt and low self-worth. Some would measure their self-worth against goals achieved and how popular they are with others. This kind of ‘confidence glow’ can be temporary if one is inclined to put all of their psychological well-being eggs in the same ‘self-esteem’ basket. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, famously stated: ‘Self-esteem is the greatest sickness known to personkind because it’s conditional.’ We condition ourselves when we rehearse and re rehearse certain ingrained thought constructions that are unhelpful or helpful to us. Ellis claims, and I agree, that if a person’s self-worth is contingent on how others regard them or how well they do at tasks it can be very harmful. They will feel OK or not OK depending on which way the self-esteem winds blow! This is what Ellis called conditional self - worth, how one esteems...

What is a  Bonsai  child  ? It's a new term to describe the child who has been over tended to, fussed over and over supervised. When something happens at school an  enquiry  is needed to get to the bottom of 'why Isabella fell out with her friend and what did the school do about it as she is such a  sensitive  child!' Is Isabella temporarily sad or is she depressed. Could be either but it's important to know the difference.  Clinical psychologist and researcher Judith Locke writes in her book The Bonsai Child  "A sense of melancholy is labelled depression; any trepidation is labelled anxiety. A friendship fight is bullying." The Bonsai Child  is her term for children who are over-nurtured. Michael  Carr-Gregg talks about  marshmallow kids  a generation of children who are afraid to fail. Do they experience healthy disappointment when they don't achieve their goals and wants or do they feel unhealthily de...