Have a Go Spaghettio!

Have a Go Spaghettio! is a program I wrote several years ago. It is based on Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy of Dr. Albert Ellis fame. I sent the draft to him not expecting a response but lo and behold he did reply! This is what he said:

“I read your presentation on ‘Have a Go Spaghettio!’ a resilience building program for young learners. It seems to hit the spot and be excellent for your young audience.”

I was well chuffed of course and I remain very thankful that he saw fit to take the time as he did to write back to me. A very generous gesture I thought which continues to inspire me in my work as a counsellor in schools here in South Australia.

The program has been well received in the early childhood teaching community as it presents key ideas of REBT to young learners in a fun way. It acquaints young learners to the idea that their individual thinking constructions impacts their ability to manage themselves effectively in daily life emotionally and behaviourally.

There are six competencies that children can learn about through the program. These strengths and capabilities are represented by certain colours which have been assigned catchy, quirky labels. This is the Have a Go Spaghettio! chart:

Have a Go Spaghettio!

The six Have a Go Spaghettio! success helper capabilities chart reminds children about the helpful choices they can make. These helpful choices (help us achieve our goals and desires) are linked to helpful habits of thinking or as I call it Brain Friend thinking. 

Teachers feedback to the behavioural choices the students are making thus e.g.

'You are working hard. Give it a try ... and the students respond ... banana pie!'

Another student is waiting patiently in line and the teacher says e.g.

'You are showing great patience and adds 'You are keeping coolio ... and the students will say ... at schoolio!'

The Have a Go Spaghettio! resource is full of ideas and strategies to help teachers help students develop the six capabilities mentioned in a fun way.

I will explain the 'I'm worthwhile crocodile' red success helper capability in my next post. But this short item is to acquaint you to the Have a Go! framework for early childhood.

If you want to know more about the program please feel free to contact Giulio at lozzog@gmail.com for more information.

The Call to Teach REBT/CBT in Schools - not a new idea!

Para Hills School P-7 in Adelaide South Australia is an anti depression school. It engages an arsenal of principles and practices designed to psychologically immunise students against the ravages of depression, anxiety and anger. As the great BatFink said 'Your bullets cannot harm me for my wings are like a shield of steel which deflect the harm that others may wish to inflict on me.' 

Educators help children develop psychological 'wings of steel' to ward off the potential harm of failure and rejection. This article CBT in schools advocates for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) to be taught in schools. Para Hills P-7 has been doing this for several years through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education which is based on REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy).

Para Hills School P-7, South Australia

REBT is the creation of Dr Albert Ellis who supported this work in schools in South Australia up to his death in 2007 and continues to support us through The REBT Network

Dr Bill Knaus renowned REBT expert and advocate for Rational Emotive Behaviour Education provides his highly acclaimed school resource here Free REE Resource download for educators and counsellors in schools.

The call for REBT/CBT in schools is not a new one but perhaps now the time is right to capture the imagination of educational leaders everywhere!

REBT and Mind Stretch - learning how to struggle

Mind stretch or mind stretching has entered the lexicon of learning and teaching in recent times. DECD (Department of Education and Child Development) identifies this personal capability as being crucial to achieving learning goals.

Joan Moran explains here Joan Moran: 7 Tips to Stretch Your Mind at Any Age what she believes to be the elements of mind stretch ability. Her yoga practise and life experience has taught her some essential insights into how to get the best out of her physical and psychological selves.

One essential personal capability Joan suggests we hone is learning how to tune into what we are saying to ourselves; our self talk.

What is self talk and why is it important to teach our children? Simply self talk is the dialogue you have with yourself in your head. The concept of 'mind' is harder to define. 'What's on your mind?' you may ask. 'What are you thinking?' 'What are you thinking or saying to yourself?' The 'mind the gap' pronouncement when alighting the train reminds us to be careful and so on.

To be mindful is to be aware and self talk is something to be aware of because what we say to ourselves determines the actions we choose and the emotions we experience. Or does it? Perhaps but that's not the whole story.

I think the kind of our self talk habits is a reflection of the deep philosophical beliefs we hold and it is they which drive our actions and feelings. In other words I think our self talk is the expression of deeper held convictions (personal philosophies about me, others and the world in general).

Stretching the mind incurs risk taking: taking a leap of faith from what you know to new understandings (linking new learning to old to make new and different meanings). The skill of the teacher is to determine where the learner is and provide learning experiences that will entice the learner to strive for new, unchartered realms of knowing and experience. What we talk to ourselves about reflects what we 'know' about ourselves from our experiences to date (what we have learned).

New learning then engenders some discomfort, disorder when things don't seem the same. We may feel agitated and anxious trying to work out where this new stuff fits in with the old. We may not like how we feel but we 'muck in' anyway or we can feel so overawed that we panic and recoil from the challenge because it is so strange and alien to us. The more we are coaxed to the edge of our thinking the scarier learning can be. Do we engage with curiosity and enthusiasm for the unknown? Or do we disengage and demur, yield to the scary and mysterious?

Just thinking!

So mind stretching will help us expand our knowledge and capabilities and we will gain some sense of academic and personal confidence on the way. After all if we don't take chances how are we ever to realise our potential? But what if the learner considers the gap between what she knows and what she doesn't to be more of a gigantic chasm than a gap and the leap into the new and unknown is perceived to be too scary to even contemplate. What can she do?

Perception is the key. How does she perceive herself as a learner? Does she have a strong sense of self worth and self efficacy? (the belief that she can achieve set goals as described by Albert Bandura) Can she hang tough in difficult situations where nothing seems to make sense?

The ability to stretch the mind and to take that leap of learning faith into the chaos and struggle of the unknown can be either embraced or rejected depending on the kind of psychological muscle one has developed and can draw on in tough times.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education (REBE) is the school wide application of Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance. Helping children develop the personal capabilities to engage in 'mind stretch' activities is the work of teachers at Para Hills School P-7 and many others in South Australia. REBE teaches:

• We are constructivists
• We construct helpful (self and other) rational ways of thinking/believing or unhelpful irrational ones
• We can challenge and change (deconstruct) old unhelpful ways of thinking and reconstruct more helpful ones
• We are always worthwhile
• We can achieve our goals with hard work and self belief

'State of mind' teaching and learning (REBE) and the ability to 'mind stretch' are inextricably linked.

Philosophy Based Behaviour Education in Schools

This is a summary of what we are doing at a school where I work, Para Hills School P-7 in South Australia.

We have established a system of behaviour education that challenges the philosophical view that ‘IT’ makes me/you/us angry/sad/anxious. IT is anything and everything that occurs or exists that we are challenged to deal with in general e.g. coming to school, doing hard stuff, challenging behaviour of others etc.

Through REBE (Rational Emotive Behaviour education) we want students (us) to understand that:

• We don’t/can’t always achieve our wants, goals and desires and when we don’t we are not failures. We may review, reset our goals or indeed discard them. It is rational (self-helpful) to pursue healthy (socially responsible/acceptable) goals and not give up on our dreams and desires to be happy/successful maintaining hope and optimism

• We may desire, prefer and want all significant others to like/admire/respect us but they don’t have to. We may want this but in the main we don’t absolutely need it to survive (as long as we have our basic needs met by family, friends). When we are not accepted by significant others (as difficult as this may be) it never diminishes our worth/value (unless we believe it does) i.e. we are not rejects ourselves when we are rejected by others.

• We may desire, prefer and want the world to deliver all we need that will make our lives comfortable but we accept that there will be challenges when indeed things don’t go our way. We expect challenges and disappointment because that is how things are. We continue however to meet challenges optimistically and realistically. We don’t give in too easily to such challenges and misfortune.

When challenged we can put things into some kind of perspective so that we are healthily concerned about day to day happenings but we won’t catastrophise over things which may be significant but not so ‘bad’ that we ‘can’t stand it!’

We (and everyone else) are worthwhile and worthy of respect (we don’t have to like those who have qualities we don’t like but we don’t damn them totally for it).

Teachers continue their good work in many schools in South Australia making a significant difference to student well being.

Doormat Syndrome – the need to be needed and self hatred!

People will sometimes present with the ‘people treat me like a doormat’ syndrome. Doormats are used to wipe dirt from the soles of shoes. Not a very attractive analogy but this image of self, engenders strong feelings of anger and sadness in the sufferer.

The client will talk of feeling angry towards the other (s), of extreme sadness because of feeling ‘not wanted.’ Why is this the case? What can she do?

Talking to a trusted other is always a good start as she acknowledges that she doesn’t feel OK and wants to feel better but this is only the beginning of her journey of healing.

As counsellor I am interested in her story her. What are the significant events in her life and what hurdles have been placed before her and how did she deal with those challenges?

It will become evident as her story unfolds that she has developed some destructive, self-defeating personal philosophies (habits of believing) that she is not aware of at this point. My job is to help her become aware of these beliefs and how they drive her intense destructive feelings and behaviours. 

I will explain Albert Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance and use it to:

•           Identify what her constructed beliefs are
•           Explain  how they have been constructed
•           Parse out significant self-defeating and irrational beliefs she holds and maintains are true
•           Help challenge and change those errant beliefs
•           Set goals and teach tools that will help her onwards

It will not be easy to change habits of thinking feeling and behaving that have been practised over a lifetime and deeply embedded in the subconscious but it is possible; with hard work and application!

Albert Ellis said the job of therapist was to ‘cherchez le should,’ look for the implied or articulated should in counselling discourse. Our client has developed a few should beliefs that need urgent attention.

We agree that she has a firm conviction that she should always minister to others (I need to be needed) that she is a good person in doing good and that others should recognise that she is a good person for doing good. When she doesn’t get her just rewards she feels bad (they should acknowledge me!)

In a nutshell Ellis would say in his inimitable way that she is a love slob where the need to be needed reigns supreme over rational thought.

And so the work begins:

•      Challenge her ‘need to be needed’ philosophy (where’s the evidence that supports this? Do you need an ambulance if someone takes umbrage if you assert want you want/prefer/say no?)
•      Work on unconditionally accepting herself (I affirm of myself). Don’t give others consent to diminish you!
•      Practise, practise, practise thinking rational self (and other) helpful thinking until they become automatic habits, characteristic of her new and confident self.

I am always aware that my interactions with others help me to hone my own counselling skills and I am grateful for these opportunities. It takes courage to reach out to another for assistance and I value that privilege. My clients are my teachers and they gift me the chance to become better at what I do. I’m getting closer to where Einstein says I can be, explaining in simple terms what I know!

 Isn’t that what teaching’s all about?

CBT in Schools - Para Hills School P-7 leading the way in South Australia

“Schools provide a convenient location to deliver emotional health prevention programs for children. Whilst there are a number of school based programs, few have been scientifically evaluated to determine what effect they have on children’s emotional health,” said lead author Professor Paul Stallard, of the University of Bath’s Department for Health.

Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) has been shown to greatly reduce anxiety levels in schoolchildren ages nine to 10 years old, according to new research from Oxford University. Researchers believe that this therapy would benefit all children, regardless of their anxiety levels." http://psychcentral.com/news/2014/07/20/cbt-in-elementary-school-curriculum-lowers-childrens-anxiety-levels/72685.html

The above extract from a PsychCentral article of July last year reinforces the work of schools in well being promotion based on CBT. Many schools in South Australia are applying Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) principles in daily teaching practise through The Rational Emotive Behaviour Education Program.

Para Hills School P-7 leads the way in Social and Emotional learning and promotion. All children are taught that they are philosophers, thinkers and that they have constructed their own 'thinking rules' that are 'çonnected' to their actions and feelings. They learn how their irrational thinking habits are unhelpful to them and rational ones are more useful. This way they can learn to control potentially self (and other) defeating actions and emotions. Do life's events and other people make them angry or do they make their own anger when engaging their irrational thinking rules? Albert Ellis, creator of REBT said that we by and large construct our own anger, depression and anxiety so we can theoretically learn how to deconstruct them and replace them with better habits of believing. 

Para Hills School P-7 leading the way in REBT/CBT based mental health promotion

The REBE in Schools Program helps students develop personal capabilities that assist them with their academic and social learning. Students who have healthy concerns rather than unhealthy anxieties; healthy sadness and annoyance over depression and anger will succeed even in the face of challenge.

Schools are the place to put these ideas in practice. Teachers are working hard at the 'çhalk face' to empower children with the insights and understandings that will help them at school and beyond. Para Hills School P-7 has been doing this methodically and comprehensively across all year levels on a daily basis building a culture of well being and success.

Bully for You! REBT and Self Acceptance - a protective factor against bullying

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education is taught at Para Hills School P-7. REBE helps students to develop a strong and healthy sense of self worth i.e. a confidence that is hard to shake especially when others disapprove of them/bully them. This a way to 'psychologically immunise' students against bullying. 

Bully for You!

Do you think you have nothing to offer

Use self-talk which is negative and untrue

And you don’t think you amount to much?

Then I have just the thing for you!

Bully for you, bully for you

I have a bully for you!

I look for people to victimise

My admiring buddies think I’m great

I like to see fear in your eyes

You deserve to suffer mate!

Bully for you, bully for you

I’m the bully for you.

I will persist, never let up

I don’t consider how you feel

My life’s work is to see you suffer

You don’t matter; you’re no big deal!

Bully for you, bully for you

I’m the bully for you!

We control our thoughts

We are what we perceive

We can choose to be powerless victims

Until we change what we believe

Victim for you, victim for you

Will I be the victim for you?

I’m a worthwhile person

I have qualities unique to me

We are all different from each other

That makes us the same you see?

No, I will not allow you to bully

You don’t have my permission you see

I will not be your sporting obsession

You are not the bully for me!

Bully for me, bully for me.

You are not the bully for me.

The cloak of silence

Is the bully’s best friend

So speak out, everybody

It’s the cloak that’s specially tailored
For you and for me!

Giulio Bortolozzo

Mental Health, Teaching and Learning - lives under construction

Children are constructivists. They make sense of what's happening and put two and two together and make their own four. Depression is a condition that undermines our ability to engage with the world successfully. What habits of believing have we constructed? Do we know what they are? Can we do anything about it? Why do I feel as I feel? Good questions to ponder and Rational Emotive Behaviour Education facilitates the students capacity to think about their thinking, to examine the philosophies they hold. If we have constructed our depression by cultivating irrational (unhelpful, unhealthy) habits of believing then we can deconstruct it! We can constantly revisit the meanings we have made about our experiences and re examine them through the REBE lens. 'Am I worthless? What does this mean? What evidence is there to support this hypothesis? What reconstructed meanings can I make that best fit the evidence?' This kind of awareness and learning allows the person to monitor their mental health, to make decisions about what they can do to help themselves forge ahead in the world. The REBE approach to Positive Psychology is promoted through The Rational Emotive Behaviour Education in Schools Program which is being implemented in many schools in South Australia. Para Hills School P-7 staff is working hard to help children understand how as constructivists they can thrive even when confronted with change and challenge. This is a useful thing to do.

Counselling - has REBT lost it's relevance?

Counselling is more than having a chat with someone though in itself this can be helpful, therapeutic even. But like any discipline there needs to be purpose to any endeavour. What is it we want to achieve for the client and what's in it for me? Can we cause more harm than good or not benefit the other at all? What is counselling any way but two people talking about something? 

What do we want to achieve? The goal will always be to help the person you are working with to develop insight and to have the tools to work on themselves as they are getting on with their life. Is it telling people what they need to know or do they know already? These are things the counsellor will consider as the session/s unfold.

Is there a payoff for me? Yes there are many but it is important to know what they are. If our main purpose is to feel good about ourselves we are not going to be useful. There are some self appointed experts who seek out opportunities to practise empathy on others asking 'how did that make you feel?' and 'it makes me (the counsellor) feel so proud when you ...' or 'I like it when you ...' It is not about how the counsellor feels or what she particularly likes that is most important here and can your client 'make' you feel anything? Of course people can be well intended but good intentions are not what counselling is about and they certainly won't help your client!

What is the counsellors approach based on? My tool of choice is REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) developed by Albert Ellis. It is a constructivist approach to counselling based on the premise that we have developed habits of thinking that underpin the behaviours and emotions we experience in response to daily life events. Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance model helps us teach this philosophy to others. Other peoples theories and ideas make up my counselling toolkit but Ellis' REBT is my foundation model of choice. Why? Because it works!

We have our base theory (REBT) but what skills do we need to develop to effectively support the client? Counselling skills are developed, honed with practise over time. Reflective listening, identifying issues of concern, working out what personal philosophies the client has constructed that are not helpful or indeed are harmful (Cherchez le should as Ellis would say) and activities to work on to achieve therapeutic aims. The list can go on! Is Ellis relevant? I say a resounding yes to that. Ellis' work is as relevant as ever if not more so!

My Brain

My Brain 

My brain lives in my head 

Its job is to do my thinking 

If there's something in my eyes 

It tells them to start blinking! 

My brain thinks lots of thoughts 

They bounce around my head 

If I eat a bucket of slugs 

I'll probably drop down dead! 

My brain is just like jelly 

It wobbles and it wibbles 

It really is a helpful mate 

It helps me work out riddles. 

My brain is sometimes lazy 

It plays tricks and puzzles me 

Does two plus two make four? 

Or a hundred and thirty three? 

My brain is my best friend 

Without it where would I be? 

If it wasn't for my brain 

My head would be empty! 

From 'Have a Go Spaghettio!' an REBT based resource for early childhood educators and counsellors.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What is REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy)?

A. It’s a psychotherapy tool used to help people sort out their behavioural and emotional issues. It is based on constructivist theory.

Q. Where does it come from?

A. Dr Albert Ellis created it in the 1950’s. It is acknowledged as the original of the cognitive therapies. Some others are Aaron Becks CBT and William Glassers Choice Theory amongst others. It is a philosophy based approach, Albert Ellis drawing on the work of Epictetus and others of the Stoic tradition.

Q. What’s the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance?

A. It demonstrates that A (the event) is not solely responsible for how someone feels and acts (C) but what we believe (B) has a lot to with it! I.e. A+B=C

Q. I’m not a psychologist. How do I teach this stuff?

A. There are some basic strategies that can be used in daily teaching practise that will value add to the teaching/learning process. You don’t have to be a psychologist!

Q. What is REBE (Rational Emotive Behaviour Education)?

A. It’s the application of REBT theory and practises in daily teaching/learning.

Q. Why is REBE important?

A. It teaches students in a systematic way how their feelings and actions are driven by their constructed beliefs (Rational/irrational). If students are aware of this they can begin to make better choices by deconstructing unhelpful beliefs and replacing them with helpful ones.

Q. How does this support mental health and suicide prevention?

A. REBE is based on the very counselling model, REBT/CBT that is promoted by DECDS, (South Australian Education Department) Beyond Blue and Headspace to name a few. It teaches students that anxiety; depression, anger and shame/guilt are driven by irrational core beliefs. Through REBE we help students to examine their core philosophical beliefs and develop healthier ones. As depression is known to be a precursor to suicide and self-harm the benefit of REBE is inestimable.

Q. What other benefits are there for students?

A. REBE addresses victim and bully behaviour. It is a system based on educative, restorative principles and is a preventative mental health program, which can be delivered via pastoral care and across all curriculum areas.

Q. I feel overwhelmed by the number of approaches, strategies, and programs available.

A. The REBE approach is user friendly. It doesn’t rely on any program per se but on a counselling philosophy that embraces most of what we teach about behaviour/mental health via a plethora of other programs that are presented to us.

 

Hello there!

Q. I’ve heard a lot about Positive Psychology. Is this the new frontier of preventative/educative personal development teaching/learning in schools?

A. Bertrand Russell, eminent mathematician and philosopher of the last century talked about positive psychology. Albert Ellis and others likewise in many and varied ways promote the ideas of PS. Martin Seligman of PS fame draws on many of the ideas and principles of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy/Education.

Unconditional Self Acceptance - Mary Lambert 'Secrets' (Official)

This is a video about self acceptance and the courage to be who you are. Where some try to conform to some ideal of what is 'beautiful' 'cool' 'normal' Mary Lambert shows us that no such things exist ..... unless you let them! A growing number of teachers in schools all over South Australia teach unconditional self acceptance via a daily dose of REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education. This video was passed on to me by Dr Ken Rigby who advocates for the promotion of self and other acceptance through his work on bullying (www.kenrigby.net) Have a look at it and pass it on :)  

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt