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Have a Go Spaghettio! and The Yellow Success Helper

The Yellow Success Helper (YSH) represents behaviours related to positive relationships and interactions. They are associated with what REBT calls unconditional other acceptance (UOA) or what Carl Rogers calls unconditional positive regard (UPR). These philosophical perspectives see others as fallible human beings, like ourselves, and making judgements based on a particular quality or characteristic abstracted from the many are inaccurate assumptions. YSH thinking makes YSH choices and emotions. This is the message conveyed to our early childhood learners, that they are constructivists, building their own conceptions about how things work. Have a Go Spaghettio! thinking is Brain Friend, Success Helper or rational thinking. If they learn that thinking, feeling and behaviour are connected they can learn to regulate how they feel and behave successfully. The Red ‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ thinking Success Helper is unconditional self-a...

Have a Go Spaghettio! and The ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance

  Albert Ellis's ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is a paradigm within Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT). It provides a framework for understanding how our thoughts, beliefs, and events interact to influence our emotional and behavioural responses. Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) is a psychoeducational teaching and counselling model. The ABC model is a tool used within REBT to help individuals identify, challenge, and deconstruct irrational beliefs and to construct new, more efficient ways of thinking and believing. Have a Go Spaghettio! is an early childhood approach to social, emotional, and behavioural learning based on REBT and the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance paradigm. It teaches young learners that they make (construct) their own habits of thinking that in turn make their emotional and behavioural responses to events. Early learnings about their thinking nature will provide the tools with which they can learn to think about their th...

Breaking Approval Dependence (BAD)

Written by a past member of Approvalists Anonymous, a support group for those who are at risk of becoming *‘love slobs.'  This is an REBT perspective (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) on Breaking Approval Dependence (BAD), a debilitating psychological impediment to happiness and success. ‘I need to be needed.' (Oh no you don’t!) ‘It’s been two weeks since I sat and stewed about how an insignificant other esteems me,’ proclaimed the primary school teacher to the others in the group. Everyone nodded their approval of the reforming 'approvalist' before them, and their fortitude grew as the teacher expounded their newfound belief; ‘what I think of me is more important than how you might assess my personhood.’ ‘Bravo!’ They exclaimed in unison as the AA member added, ‘what you think of me is none of my business!’ As the AA member emerged from the meeting into the cool autumn night, they thought, ‘I approve of me, and I’m OK no matter what!’ To break a habit of a lif...

Have a Go Spaghettio! and Conservation of the 'Self' - conserving Red Su...

A rational and healthy appreciation of the ‘self’   according to REBT is called unconditional self-acceptance. The ability to maintain its integrity, even in difficult circumstances is to be able to conserve it. If children can learn that their overall worth is not determined by others’ estimation of them, and that an opinion of them cannot ‘be’ them, they will conserve their established unconditional self-acceptance status. This is what I understand conservation of the ‘self’ to be. If children learn to believe that they need others’ approval, that someone’s estimation of them ‘is’ them, they expose themselves to excessive upset, excessive worry, sadness etc. As the ‘self’ in this sense, cannot be stable, and remains reliant on others to determine it’s worth it cannot be conserved. It lacks strength and integrity, it is a ‘self’ that has conditions attached to it and the child will be externally controlled i.e., their sense of self is determined by others and not them. The w...

Have a go Spaghettio! Success Helper Goal Setting

Have a go Spaghettio! Success Helper Goal Setting Personal goals give us some direction, something to aim at. In the Have a Go Spaghettio! classroom we can introduce the idea of personal goal setting. There are 6 Success Helper capabilities or competencies that we can develop to help us to experience success, achieving what we set out to achieve. It is important to remind our young class members that positive feelings are linked to achievement, trying new things and making friends with others. A simple definition of success might be: ‘Success is trying to do stuff, doing my best and feeling good about things.’ Success Helper goal setting can be described and encouraged in reference to the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper chart in our daily teaching. A day starter might include a reminder that Success Helper goals help us to get better at stuff. The teacher might set things rolling by declaring that their goal is to practice e.g., the Red Success Helper called ‘I’m worthwhil...

Jonno is not a giraffe!

Teaching children that they cannot be any word used to describe them will help them develop a healthy habit of thinking and believing that is intuitive, automatic. This Success Helper or Brain Friend way of thinking is the goal of the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to social and emotional wellbeing, called ‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ thinking. What does this mean? Unconditional self-acceptance  is understanding that there is no law that says our worth is decided by others appraisal of us or how well or badly we do at tasks. We can e.g., act dumb/smart but we cannot be so. It is a Brain Bully belief when we decide that we ‘are’ our dumbness or smartness because it’s not true, there’s no evidence to support this hypothesis! The Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to social and emotional wellbeing teaches young learners about Brain Friend believing which is rational and supported by the evidence. It is as ridiculous to accept that we can be a giraffe as it is to believe we are or can be dum...

Shouldhood and Unsanity

‘Shouldhood' causes upset or increases the intensity of what, Albert  Ellis calls, our ‘upsetness.’ The degree of ‘upsetness’ caused by our  tendency to think in ‘shoulds’ is what Ellis also calls ‘shithood:’  ‘shouldhood’ leads to ‘shithood ‘ psychologically speaking. Sometimes we might ‘should’ and stop and rethink our ‘shoulding’  reminding ourselves that to demand we should get something we  can’t get is futile. So, we recalibrate, shift our thinking to a more  logical, rational posture. However, if we indulge in ‘should’ thinking on a more permanent  basis, where we continue to demand that things should, absolutely  be  as we demand they should be, then ‘shithood’ is where we end up  until we understand how thinking effects how we feel and behave.  The world is no good, others are no good and/or you are no good  equals ‘SHITHOOD!” ‘Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.’ Shakespeare (Hamlet) The Have a Go S...

The Word is Not The Person - General Semantics, REBT, reality and Have a...

How we perceive the world, others and ourselves is our own constructed version of the reality we experience. Reality then is our version of how we perceive it to be. It’s a persistent illusion according to Albert Einstein and Douglas Adams says everything in the universe we perceive is specific to us. Dr Seuss says there is ‘no one alive who is youer than you,’ we are unique it is said, but what kind of ‘you’ are we constructing, what is our virtual take on the reality we experience and are we constructing a healthy view of the unique ‘self’ possessed by each of us. Have a Go Spaghettio! ‘s goal is to help children understand that as constructivists they are building an internal, virtual representation of reality and it can be either a rational, Brain Friend, Success Helper version of reality or otherwise. This video explores the idea that we can't ‘be’ any word ascribed us  by others or ourselves, as General Semantics theory says if we do we will experience emotional and behav...

Have a Go Spaghettio! Teaching children about Brain Bully Thinking and w...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review, reminder that irrational BB thinking is unhelpful thinking and this can be taught explicitly in the teaching and learning context. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, says the future of psychotherapy is in the school system. With the Have a Go approach, it has arrived in early childhood learning. Irrational thinking is that which stops us getting the results we desire or prefer. It dismisses or is ignorant of the reality that sometimes we may not get what we strongly desire to have; people to like us, to do well at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t be catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BB belief we are not OK if others think otherwise is an irrational perspective on the worth we apportion to our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist not because someone else says we are! Some children will be constructing BB beliefs that undermine their confidence and sense of agency impacting their psychologi...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Approach to Teaching Success Helper, Brain Fr...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review, reminder that rational BF thinking can be taught explicitly in the teaching and learning context. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, says the future of psychotherapy is in the school system. With the Have a Go approach, it has arrived in early childhood learning. Rational thinking is that which helps us get the results we desire or prefer. It accommodates the reality that sometimes we may not get what we strongly desire to have; people to like us, to do well at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t be catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BF belief we are OK even if others think otherwise is a rational perspective on the worth we apportion to our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist not because someone else says we are! We can help children develop this habit of thinking so it becomes intuitive, automatic, and deeply held. Some children will be constructing such a belief others may not be but ...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Approach to Bullying

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Approach to SEL embodies the thinking and ideas of Dr. Albert Ellis who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. His ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is a counselling paradigm used universally to help people navigate their way through life. Here we consider Bullying and how we can best address it as educators in the early childhood context. Jonas Salk hypothesised that we could psychologically immunise our students so that they develop optimum positive mental health. We again revisit the red 'I'm worthwhile crocodile!' habit of thinking which underpins personal agency, assertion, and overall confidence. This video puts forth how the Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator can foster, encourage, and reinforce a mindset that will empower the young child in dealing with challenge, particularly with bullying. Have a go Spaghettio! helps to psychologically immunise our young children against the scourge of bullying as suggested by Jonas...

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach classroom setup

This video is another look at setting up the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper classroom. It offers classroom strategies that help to acquaint children with the think, feel, do connection a la Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. Give it a try banana pie! The Success Helper Well Being Framework has been adopted by many schools in Australia. It embodies the thinking and ideas of Dr. Albert Ellis who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. His ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is a counselling paradigm used universally to help people navigate their way through life. Ellis' therapeutic approach to wellbeing, mental health promotion/education is influenced by Stoic philosophy, Alfred Korzybski's General Semantics theory, Bertrand Russell's ideas and many more who teach that thinking, feeling, and behaving are all interconnected. The Success Helper Well Being Framework teaches children that they have the potential to manage their extreme and often self-defeating emotions...

'I'm Angry!' Supporting a young person via Have a the Go Spaghettio! approach

Children can express anger through ‘meltdowns’, aggressive behaviour which indicate difficulty in regulating their emotions. The child is attempting to interpret/make sense of what’s happening around them, learning to self-regulate hopefully in time. They are learning to manage their emotions and Have a Go Spaghettio! can help!