The Word is Not The Person - General Semantics, REBT, reality and Have a...

How we perceive the world, others and ourselves is our own

constructed version of the reality we experience. Reality then is our

version of how we perceive it to be. It’s a persistent illusion

according to Albert Einstein and Douglas Adams says everything in

the universe we perceive is specific to us. Dr Seuss says there is ‘no

one alive who is youer than you,’ we are unique it is said, but what

kind of ‘you’ are we constructing, what is our virtual take on the

reality we experience and are we constructing a healthy view of the

unique ‘self’ possessed by each of us.

Have a Go Spaghettio! ‘s goal is to help children understand that as

constructivists they are building an internal, virtual representation of

reality and it can be either a rational, Brain Friend, Success Helper

version of reality or otherwise.

This video explores the idea that we can ‘be’ any word ascribed us by

others or ourselves, as General Semantics theory says if we do we

will experience emotional and behavioural upset as we may be

abstracting an undesirable characteristic and applying it to our

global selves, i.e., we do something bad/good, therefore we are

totally bad/good!

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy acquaints us with idea of

unconditional self-acceptance, that we are not good or bad, just

worthwhile. In Have a Go Spaghettio! speak this is ‘I’m worthwhile

crocodile’ thinking. 

Have a Go Spaghettio! Helps young people cultivate habits of

thinking that are reasonable, evidence based, and helpful. It is

underpinned by General Semantics and Rational Emotive Behaviour

Therapy theories and can be applied easily in early childhood

teaching and learning contexts. Give it a try banana pie!

Have a Go Spaghettio! Teaching children about Brain Bully Thinking and w...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review,

reminder that irrational BB thinking is unhelpful

thinking and this can be taught explicitly in the

teaching and learning context. Albert Ellis, creator

of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, says the

future of psychotherapy is in the school system.

With the Have a Go approach, it has arrived in early

childhood learning.

Irrational thinking is that which stops us getting the

results we desire or prefer. It dismisses or is

ignorant of the reality that sometimes we may not

get what we strongly desire to have; people to like

us, to do well at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t

be catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BB

belief we are not OK if others think otherwise is an

irrational perspective on the worth we apportion to

our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist

not because someone else says we are!

Some children will be constructing BB beliefs that

undermine their confidence and sense of agency

impacting their psychological resilience against

harmful and intrusive irrational thoughts.

The six Success Helper habits of thinking are

introduced to the children via the Have a Go

Spaghettio! approach to building psychological

resilience and wellbeing. REBT’s ABC Theory of

Emotional Disturbance is its foundation theory,

which helps children understand that their belief

constructions can be helpful or unhelpful.

BB believing is Success Stopper thinking which is

irrational and unhelpful thinking causing BB

feelings and actions. Using the Have a Go

Spaghettio! approach will empower our children to

act in confidence, because they will learn to accept

themselves unconditionally which is ‘I’m

worthwhile crocodile’ thinking.

Have a Go Spaghettio!  Give it a Try Banana Pie!

Dr. Albert Ellis

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Approach to Teaching Success Helper, Brain Fr...

This Have a Go Spaghettio! video is a review,

reminder that rational BF thinking can be taught

explicitly in the teaching and learning context.

Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour

Therapy, says the future of psychotherapy is in the

school system. With the Have a Go approach, it has

arrived in early childhood learning.

Rational thinking is that which helps us get the

results we desire or prefer. It accommodates the

reality that sometimes we may not get what we

strongly desire to have; people to like us, to do well

at tasks, reach our goals. This needn’t be

catastrophic unless we believe it to be. The BF

belief we are OK even if others think otherwise is a

rational perspective on the worth we apportion to

our ‘self,’ i.e., we are worthwhile because we exist

not because someone else says we are!

We can help children develop this habit of thinking

so it becomes intuitive, automatic, and deeply held.

Some children will be constructing such a belief

others may not be but psychological resilience

against harmful and intrusive irrational thoughts

depend on this type of belief construction.

So give it a try banana pie!

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Approach to Bullying

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Approach to SEL

embodies the thinking and ideas of Dr. Albert Ellis who created

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. His ABC Theory of Emotional

Disturbance is a counselling paradigm used universally to help

people navigate their way through life. Here we consider Bullying

and how we can best address it as educators in the early childhood

context. Jonas Salk hypothesised that we could psychologically

immunise our students so that they develop optimum positive mental

health. We again revisit the red 'I'm worthwhile crocodile!' habit of

thinking which underpins personal agency, assertion, and overall

confidence. This video puts forth how the Rational Emotive

Behaviour Educator can foster, encourage, and reinforce a mindset

that will empower the young child in dealing with challenge,

particularly with bullying. Have a go Spaghettio! helps to

psychologically immunise our young children against the scourge of

bullying as suggested by Jonas Salk, Martin Seligman, and others. As

Dr. Albert Ellis says, the future of psychotherapy is in the school

system. So Have a Go Spaghettio! and 'Give it a Try Banana Pie!'

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach classroom setup

This video is another look at setting up the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper classroom. It offers classroom strategies that help to acquaint children with the think, feel, do connection a la Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. Give it a try banana pie! The Success Helper Well Being Framework has been adopted by many schools in Australia. It embodies the thinking and ideas of Dr. Albert Ellis who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. His ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is a counselling paradigm used universally to help people navigate their way through life. Ellis' therapeutic approach to wellbeing, mental health promotion/education is influenced by Stoic philosophy, Alfred Korzybski's General Semantics theory, Bertrand Russell's ideas and many more who teach that thinking, feeling, and behaving are all interconnected. The Success Helper Well Being Framework teaches children that they have the potential to manage their extreme and often self-defeating emotions/behaviours successfully, if they learn how these are influenced by their habits of thinking - their perceptions and assessments of what's happening around them. Unconditional self-acceptance is taught via the Framework which demonstrates to children that they are always worthwhile no matter what. In other words, their intrinsic value/worth cannot be taken away by failure or criticism of others; they are always worthwhile. This kind of headset or habit of thinking/believing is a kind of psychological resilience that protects them against psychological harm. e.g. To firmly believe that 'I am not your opinion of me' expresses the deep and firm understanding that an opinion of another does not/cannot define their whole being. It is irrational to think this way. Jonas Salk, who discovered the polio vaccine is known to have said how useful it would be if we could psychologically immunise ourselves against psychological harm. Unconditional self-acceptance certainly helps children deal with challenges of failure and rejection in a way that helps them keep their positive sense of self intact so they can rally through the tough times and

'I'm Angry!' Supporting a young person via Have a the Go Spaghettio! approach

Children can express anger through ‘meltdowns’, aggressive behaviour which indicate difficulty in regulating their emotions. The child is attempting to interpret/make sense of what’s happening around them, learning to self-regulate hopefully in time. They are learning to manage their emotions and Have a Go Spaghettio! can help!

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Approach to It’s Not Fair!

Children may feel frustrated, upset, or disappointed when they perceive that they are being treated unfairly, whether in games, at home, or in social situations. Saying ‘that's not fair!’ is a way for them to articulate how they feel. The belief ‘it’s not fair’ is driving those emotions according to the ABC Theory of Emotional (and behavioural disturbance). How strong are they? If children believe that ‘it’ whatever ‘it’ may be ‘is’ unfair, they may be applying a developing philosophy that is rigid in nature, that things ‘must’ pan out as it should. Anything deemed unfair, its unfairness, depends on how it is viewed, perceived, interpreted. Applying a ‘must’ rule, demanding that wants and desires are met immediately, will cause heightened upset. An attitude of preference over demand will allow the child to keep things in perspective i.e., this happening is uninvited but in the scheme of things its not a big problem. The thing that’s ‘unfair’ is received as an inconvenience rather than a catastrophe. In the counselling context the child will articulate: What happened and how they felt when whatever happened, happened. This will establish the A and C components of the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance. How ‘it’ is perceived at B of the ABC paradigm will affect the strength of feeling and the behaviour at C and the counselling session will focus on the B, perception part of the ABC theory i.e., how can we (re) consider an ‘unfair’ happening in a different way. The child and counsellor will set some agreed Success Helper goals to focus on as illustrated in the video, and its important for the child to know and practice the ‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ Red Success Helper’ which teaches self-worth is unconditional and isn’t diminished by failure or the opinion of others.

The ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance Paradigm - Give It a Try Banana ...

This video is about the theoretical underpinnings of the early childhood Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to psychological wellbeing. 

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), is significantly influenced by philosophical and psychological perspectives. The Stoic philosophers, particularly Epictetus, emphasized the role of beliefs about events in causing emotional distress informed the creation of REBT. Albert Ellis was influenced by existential philosophers like Heidegger and Tillich, who focused on human freedom and responsibility. Karen Horney's concept of the "tyranny of the shoulds," and Adler's work also influences Ellis' REBT theory. General semanticists, such as Korzybski, also influenced REBT, highlighting the impact of language on thought and emotions.

The Have a Go Deadlio! Success Helper approach to Social Emotional Learn...

This Have a Go Deadlio! video presents the First Nations version of the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Well Being Framework highlighted in previous videos. It embodies the thinking and ideas of Dr. Albert Ellis who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. The Have a Go Deadlio! incorporates the ideas of Deadly Thinking and Gammin Thinking. These are common terms used by First Nations people, Gammin to indicate nonsense type thinking and Deadly! which represents OK thinking, feeling and behaving. This video is made with deepest respect for FN culture and history with thanks and gratitude for welcoming me to their land on which I live and work. I live on unceded Kaurna Land. Always was ... #FirstNations #earlylearning #Kaurna #mentalhealth #schools #learning #counselling #Deadly! #Gammin #indigenous #education #AlbertEllis #rationalemotivetherapy #HaveaGoSpaghettio! #GiveItaTryBananaPie!

Franklins Bad Day - why does Franklin feel sad and why is he acting out ...

What's up with Franklin? He's throwing his clothes about and disobeying his parents. His

 friends come by and he's discourteous towards them. He goes to his room and accidentally

 knocks over a block building he and Otter made. He cries in frustration and his dad comes

 in and asks Franklin why he feels so sad and angry. Otter has moved away he tells his

 father, and she was his best friend. Dad understands now why Franklin feels sad and he

 decides to apply his Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper knowledge to help Franklin deal

 with this unfortunate event in his son's life.

A Have a Go Spaghettio! Way to Help Edward the Emu Who Wants to Be What He's Not!

Edward is an ordinary emu nobody is interested in at the zoo. He tries to be every other animal in the zoo but he’s still not popular like the other animals. He realises in the end that he’s an emu and he accepts that fact.

This story is analysed through the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance lens as per the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to psychological, emotional, and behavioural wellbeing.

The ABC theory offers a way of considering the emotional and behavioural dispositions of characters and how they relate to thinking or the perception of events. Children can think about what’s happening to a third party and make connections to their own lives. So Have a Go Spaghettio! and Give it a Try Banana Pie!

 

Albert Ellis and Shithood

Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) said that embedded irrational habits of thinking can place one in a state of 'shithood.'

Known for his linguistic flair, his colourful turns of phrase drove home the REBT message that how we think about things can determine how e.g., upset we become or our state of 'upsetness' as he would say. 

Our 'upsetness' and the 'shithood' it places us in, Ellis suggests, is self-imposed to a large degree. If we believe, irrationally, that people and things beyond us, 'give us the shits' as it is commonly claimed in my neck of the woods, then, could it be caused by our own Sustained Habits of Irrational Thinking Syndrome? Do we give ourselves 'the shits?'

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to wellbeing helps early childhood students understand how we contribute to the degree of our own upset experienced in most cases and this is done by engaging irrational, Success Stopper, Brain Bully habits of thinking that lead us up the garden path to Ellis' unsavoury place of personal misery and upset!

Children are acquainted with their thinking nature, and rational, Brain Friend, Success Helper thinking is encouraged. They learn:

- thinking, feeling, and behaving are connected
- Success Helper, Brain Friend thinking is helpful
- Success Stopper, Brain Bully thinking is unhelpful

Ellis invites us to introduce the principles and practices of psychotherapy via REBT and CBT into early childhood teaching and learning. Have a Go Spaghettio! is one way to do this. Give it a try banana pie!

Albert Ellis

     

Arthur the Dog is not chosen!

Arthur is an ordinary brown dog nobody wants to buy from the pet shop. He tries to be every other animal in the shop yet he’s still overlooked for the snakes, birds, and rabbits. He realises in the end that he’s a dog and he accepts that fact.

This story is analysed through the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance lens as per the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to psychological, emotional, and behavioural wellbeing.

The ABC theory offers a way of considering the emotional and behavioural dispositions of characters and how they relate to thinking or perception of events. Children can think about what’s happening to a third party and make connections to their own lives. So Have a Go Spaghettio!

My name’s Brain Bully and I really can do your head in!

My name’s Brain Bully (BB) and you most probably don’t know me and that’s a problem for you. Why? Because I am a major player in how you might feel about yourself, others and the world in general.

BB represents irrational belief constructions which don't allow the child to 'see' things in there true (rational) perspective. 

Have a Go Spaghettio! Give it a try banana pie!

An Early Childhood Student Presents with Pervasive Sadness - could it be depression?

Have a Go Spaghettio! introduces psychotherapy into the early childhood school and classroom. Albert Ellis advocated for the application of REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) in daily teaching practice. This acquaints young learners with their thinking nature as constructivists who are forging their own ideas about how the world works. The closer their constructed ideas reflect the reality of how the world works, the better they are equipped to navigate the road ahead.  

Success Helper thinking supports SH helper feelings and behaviours. Unconditional self-acceptance. the idea that there are no conditions attached to our worth, is represented by the 'I'm worthwhile crocodile' Red Success Helper. It helps young ones maintain a positive sense of self especially when things don't go so well for them. 

Have a Go Spaghettio! 

Behaviour management or behaviour education?

Behaviour management or behaviour education? Some children need more external guidance, parameters set and reinforced by the adult mentor as they are yet to have developed the internal means to regulate the self especially in challenging situations.

But the end goal is to help young people develop the capacity to manage frustration successfully, to succeed at school in all facets of their learning and interactions, and to deal with disappointment in a healthy manner.

Dr. Albert Ellis, creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) said the future of psychotherapy is in the school system and he invites us to apply his ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance principles in daily teaching practice. Ellis' paradigm teaches how thinking, feeling and behaving are interlinked and that events of themselves don't determine how we feel and behave as our habits of thinking has something to do with it. Do we tend to think in rational ways or do we have a more irrational slant on happenings in our lives?

Rational thinking is called Success Helper or Brain Friend thinking and irrational thinking is called Success Stopper or Brain Bully thinking. Each is linked to a different emotional and behavioural response to events. These ideas are introduced via the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to Social Emotional Learning (SEL). 

It teaches young learners that the belief constructions we build in our heads can either be helpful or unhelpful. This insight can help our young learners work towards developing a more internally placed locus of control and improved frustration tolerance.

I'm Worthwhile Crocodile Thinking - nothings good or bad but thinking makes it so!

 ‘Nothing’s good or bad but thinking makes it so’ says Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Alfred Korzybski said the ‘word is not the thing.’ If a child is not good or bad intrinsically but somehow determines they can be they’re not thinking straight according to Dr. Albert Ellis and others. Doing something well does not somehow suggest that it reflects how ‘good’ we are, that we are ‘good’ for doing good. Isn’t it more accurate to believe that ‘I did Ok’ but that has nothing to do with my OK ness? Believing we’re OK when we do well or others deem us to ‘be’ OK is what Ellis calls self – esteem, where he argues, we feel good when we do good or when others approve of us. He calls this conditional self-acceptance, where self-worth is determined externally; an externally controlled and determined sense of the self, good or bad.

Unconditional self-acceptance regards the ‘self’ consistently as one of worth even if one does good or bad or when others approve of us or disapprove of us. We accept ourselves unconditionally. Ellis would argue that this is a more substantial and evidence based self-assessment than relying on others to boost our ‘self-esteem.’

Alfred Korzybski said that when we assess our value based on an abstracted strength or failing and decide it defines us, we’re thinking ‘unscientifically,’ our self-assessment is not informed by the evidence i.e., we are allowing a particular aspect of ‘us’ and deciding it describes us in a global sense which doesn’t consider all the traits, qualities etc. that we possess. In other words, it doesn’t make sense, it is, as Korzybski says, crazy making thinking!

How so? If we conclude that we ‘are’ our smartness when we do something well, and it makes us a smart person how can this make us crazy?

I worked with a young person who presented with extreme anxiety and self-doubt as they had learned that because others assessed their capabilities in an area of learning as exceptional, they believed they had a reputation to live up to. They were obsessed with ‘what if’ thinking, what if I don’t get a good mark, what if I fail, what will people think of me if I don’t get a good mark etc. They began to withdraw, not take risks because if they didn’t live up to the expectations of significant others, it would mean that they ‘are’ failures. This is what Korzybski and Ellis calls crazy thinking induced, extreme psychological discomfort. This person has decided, errantly, that they need the approval and ‘esteem’ of others to be an OK person.

‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ thinking teaches the young child that they are OK even when they don’t do so well at a task or when others inevitably disapprove of them. Their approval of themselves holds sway over the assessments of others. This kind of mindset will take on board the evidence, decide that ‘the word is not the person’ and carry on. They may take on board constructive criticism and advice, but their sense of worth remains strong, they accept themselves unconditionally!

Have a Go Spaghettio! I'm worthwhile crocodile!

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to Social Emotional Learning is informed by Dr. Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance and Alfred Korzybski's General Semantics Theory amongst others.

Dr. Ellis created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) and said the future of psychotherapy in the school system.

The Have a Go Spaghettio! chart represents the competencies and capabilities that help us achieve our goals, develop confidence and respect for self and others.

The goal is to introduce the early childhood learner to their thinking nature and to help them underrated that thinking, feeling and behaving are linked to each other. For instance the Red Success Helper, 'I'm worthwhile crocodile!' represents REBT's unconditional self acceptance, the idea that a persons worth is not tethered to how others view them i.e., that they are not what others might deem them to be e.g., dumb, smart etc.

Self approval is important and learning to need the approval of others is an unhealthy philosophical perspective because it can give rise to severe psychological upset e.g., anxiety.

So Have a Go Spaghettio!

Doing is Not Being! REBT and General Semantics

A global rating of another's worth is when a quality or characteristic or behaviour is abstracted from all the competencies and traits possessed by an individual and is then used to assess a person's entire personhood. For example, deciding a person is 'bad' because they do something we don't approve of e.g., they didn't wave back!

When discussing this with a teacher colleague, she notes that there are several fellow educators she works with who label some students in negative global rating terms, suggesting that ‘that’s the way they are’ and that they will not change.

These observations concur with my own experience as a teacher and counsellor, where a ‘fixed mindset’ mentality affects how some teachers behave towards their students, projecting a conditional acceptance of the other attitude, defining student worth in a negative way.

The word is not the thing. Alfred Korzybski

Albert Ellis, who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, spoke of unconditional other acceptance, the belief that a person's essential worth is unconditional where one quality, 'good' or 'bad' cannot define them. Similarly, Carl Rogers spoke of unconditional positive regard for the other person. 

What's the point of this and how does it relate to teaching practice? 

We have been taught via feedback that we can 'be' whatever someone deems us to be, unintentionally perhaps, in total ignorance but we have internalised these irrational and debilitating ideas as they are reinforced as a matter of course through language.

Consider the expression 'why are you angry? Can't you calm down!' This may be said in an empathic or in accusatory fashion or otherwise but what does it mean?

I've worked with kids who believe they are their anger, that their total being is characterised by this unacceptable, in their eyes, affliction that they shouldn't have. There's something wrong with them and they feel guilt and shame and extreme sadness. 

We are not the word assigned us Alfred Korzybski of General Semantics theory reminds us. The kid 'is' not 'an angry' kid but a person who feels angry at times. 

Hi there! 

It is advised that as mentors to others in the capacity of educator or parent we pay attention to what we say and the possible meaning it may convey; are we asserting you 'are' a 'bad' person for doing what you did e.g., swear at someone, or a person who did what can be assessed as a 'bad' thing. Doing is not being!

Food for thought.

 

The Word is Not the Person! General Semantics

Alfred Korzybski of General Semantics says that we ought to be more thoughtful about the language we use and to be mindful of the messages we are trying to convey. Too many and inappropriate words can confuse understanding and he suggests that we develop a scientist sensibility (Korzybski, 2000) for listening. He talks about creating a verbal pollution free zone by asking three questions that encourage specific answers. They are:

1. What do you mean?

2. How do you know?

3. What did you leave out?

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, created by Dr. Albert Ellis, incorporates Alfred Korzybski's ideas in his approach to psychotherapy and can be applied in counselling practice when working with young students.

Mary is an early childhood student who is not travelling OK. The teacher says she is self-critical and doesn't want to do things. 

We talk about Brain Friend and Brain Bully thinking. BF makes OK feelings and behaviours and BB causes us to feel not OK and we don't act as we could e.g., to try new things

We talk about Mary and how's she's been feeling and agree they are not helpful feelings she feels. She also says that she hasn't been doing her work and the teacher is wondering why. We talk about how BB thinking could be making her feel bad and she says she thinks 'I can't do this. I'm dumb.'

Maybe BB is tricking her into believing that she is totally dumb and hopeless. So, we say out loud together, 'I am dumb and hopeless.' We agree that it’s a Brain Bully way of thinking and so we decide to work on this together and we use the questions introduced above starting with #1

What do we mean?

We both answer this together and say things like 'because I am too scared to try, I am dumb and stupid.' Then we ask ourselves the question:

How do we know?

We say 'we are stupid because we are too scared to try. The teacher says we are not progressing and she tells mum she feels concerned so it must be true.' We think this kind of thinking is Brain Bully trying to trick us. We say together, 'BB is trying to trick us,' so we ask ourselves:

What did we leave out?

We talked about all the things we can do and made a list and we agreed that this proves we can't be totally dumb and just because we might feel worried about failing at something it is not true to say we are no good and that we shouldn't try.

We said that we'll work at the things we aren't so good at but we'll try to remember all the things we can do which we forgot to remember!

The word is not the person so why can a child believe they are the word 'dumb' when all the evidence suggests otherwise?

Food for thought.