REBTOZ

It's been been a while since the last post and life continues to unfold often as planned and anticipated and at other times in a tangential manner. We seem to have a trajectory in mind, a vision how things might pan out, a virtual template to guide us on our way. Things don't (why should they?) always go as imagined but ain't that the spice of life? The odd happenstance from left field (where did that come from?) will issue forth a challenge to meet and negotiate, an invitation perhaps to reach beyond yourself. Or indeed it may be an unanticipated delight that stops you in your tracks and lays a subtle smile across your hitherto sullen (feels that way) countenance.  The odd curve ball that's hard to lay a bat on and strikes you out before making a play! The tee off goes awry and your 4th golf ball goes off into the rough never to be seen again and it's only hole 2 of 18! Shut up already with your sporting analogies I can hear some say. OK I hear you! So you've...

REBT holds that our response to happenings/events, are linked to the habits of thinking or thinking rules that we have constructed over time. We can as a result of our social learning conclude certain things about our nature and capabilities. These can indeed be fixed and Albert Ellis talked about the debilitating effects of rigid, inflexible and immutable thinking habits that cause severe emotional suffering like anxiety, depression anger and shame. When gripped by such extreme emotional disturbance/turmoil the individual is in a sense unable (incapable) of acting in what we may consider constructive and progress/goal orientated ways. Fixed mindset predicts fixed outcomes. As these fixed thinking rules remain and continue to be practiced their truth is unchallenged; they are absolute. Can they be changed? Yes they can but with a lot of work! According to Dweck: 'In a fixed mindset students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed trai...

Children are constructing their own views on things (philosophies) making meaning from what they see and hear in their interactions with others and the world. The conclusions they draw may be helpful or unhelpful (rational or irrational) – their ‘thinking rules.’ (unconscious/unaware) Behaviour management is not individualised – what philosophies do those children hold (constructed)? Do they know them? How do they effect emotional and behavioural responses to situations? What can they learn/relearn that will help them? One size fits all – assumes that: Children know how to behave They have all been exposed the same learning/experiences They therefore should know how to behave If they don’t behave appropriately they should be punished (because they should Know better) – This will not be the articulated position of the teacher/parent/other (they too may be unaware of their own constructed philosophies!) This is a short term fix at best but it will: Not m...

This is a transcript of a series of 3 counselling sessions I had with a year 10 student. I used Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance to help him. I am a Rational Emotive Behaviour Counsellor. This student feels anxious over something that has happened. He asked another student if he had a problem (are you OK? Can I help?). This was misinterpreted (what do you mean I have a problem?) and he responded aggressively. The student was taken aback and then began to mull over the response he received. He asked a trusted teacher if the esteem in which other teachers held him was now diminished. The teacher said not in any way but the student remained preoccupied and went to see the counsellor outlining what had happened and how best to deal with the situation. In the counsellors office Student: I am concerned about how a student responded to me. I am caring and I didn’t intend to offend him when I asked him how he felt and if I could help. I am worried that he t...

The Dalai Lama says to be kind wherever possible and that it’s always possible. He talks about ‘cultivating’ attitudes of kindness and to practise empathy and sincere concern for others. Then there’s ‘mindfulness’, practising awareness of our feelings and actions and our underlying attitudes. What are we doing? How are we feeling? How are we behaving? Kindness is catching! Albert Ellis talks about unconditional acceptance of others (UOA). This entails consciously and intentionally being aware of our prejudices and dislikes when considering others and not judging them totally on the basis of a disagreeable (to you) quality or characteristic. Random acts of kindness it is said is as good for the giver as it is for the receiver (givee?) because it engenders feelings of empathy and concern. It enables the release of endorphins which produce the ‘natural high’ we may experience. We can choose to act kindly towards others and the trick it seems is not to accept a...

The young student was sure he was a bad kid. ‘How do you know that?’ I asked. ‘I make my mum angry all the time’ he said. ‘Tell me about the last time you made her angry’ I enquired. ‘The other day when I wouldn't brush my teeth. I wanted to watch the TV longer and she got madder and madder. It’s my fault. She said I made her mad. My mum would be happier if I was a good kid.’ I'm a bad kid! This is typical of this student who believes he’s bad based on the evidence he has had before him. What evidence might that be? What sense (or non-sense) has he made from his experiences to date? What conclusions has he drawn about himself, others and the worlds (life)? Not very helpful or healthy ones it would appear! Constructivist theory would say that our young subject has constructed some unhelpful ‘habits of thinking and believing’ and he has concluded: He is bad because he does bad things (I don’t like me) He makes his mum mad (She doesn’t like me) Where do yo...

REBT Workshop - What is it? What does it do? Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) was developed in the 1950's. It is the original cognitive therapy which has many derivatives e.g. Choice Theory (Glasser) Cognitve Behaviour Therapy (Beck) Positve Psychology (Seligman). This 1 hour workshop looks at REBT, its philosophical underpinnings and the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance, the counselling model used by psychologists and counsellors the world over. ''The future of psychotherapy is in the school system.'' Albert Ellis, creator of REBT Para Hills School P-7 Graduate teachers will say that amongst their main concerns when beginning their career is how to establish and maintain an effective behaviour education program. What models are there to base their practise on? How is their philosophy of learning reflected in their practise? Do they use a punitive approach to behaviour education or an educative one?   Bugs Bunny is self accepting! ...

There’s two students in the yard (kids 1 and 2). They’re playing one on one basketball.  A game of one on one Another person (3) approaches and asks to join in. He’s told as it’s a one on one game so another player isn’t needed. He waits a while and moves on. Another child comes by (4) and asks the same question and the basketball players say it’s a one on one and another player is not required. This is said respectfully and assertively to the third person. The news is not received well. This student (4) goes into a rage and throws their basketball away which ultimately comes to the notice of the teacher on yard duty. Student 4 is asked to sit out and is talked to for his behaviour. Something happened in the lives of Kid 3 and Kid 4. They were both declined their request to join in the basketball game with 1 and 2. This is called the activating event, situation A. So A = they didn’t let me join in. Person 3 Felt OK about this. It (A) probably rated a 2 on the e...

Schools are showing keen interest in the good work of teachers at Para Hills School P-7. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Education in Schools Program continues to have positive outcomes for students' social and emotional well being. There is growing evidence also that students are 'switching on to' learning as they develop and build their personal capabilities to believe in themselves and to hang in there when things seem too hard. As the term draws to an end much respect goes out to all educators who work tirelessly in often challenging situations to help students fulfil their potential.  As Albert Ellis said many years ago he believed the future of psychotherapy was in the school system and this message continues to resonate strongly today and is not lost on educators far and wide who help students understand how their constructed philosophies are linked to how they feel and behave. Ellis said on many occasions that we construct how we feel because of the habits o...

‘The teacher said I’m the best pupil’ the student declares proudly (see picture below). What does this mean? The individual may construe this in a rational way or an irrational way. Rational Emotive Behaviour Education teaches student’s about Unconditional Self - Acceptance that demonstrates how one positive or one negative personal attribute or characteristic does not or cannot define categorically a person’s total value.    It teaches students that their worth isn’t given to them by others and therefore cannot be taken away. They have worth because they exist and ‘that’s that’ as Albert Ellis would say. The same applies to success and failure.    We can fail at something but does that make us failures? This is a very important insight for students to have. How many students measure their worth according to how well they do in their exams? Or how they are esteemed by others? When we measure our worth according to how others view us or how well we do we ar...

The English lingo is replete with idioms that would pose a problem or two to a student with Aspergers Syndrome. Certain turns of phrase would be as clear as muddy water! She would remain none the wiser if you were to ask her to ‘pull your socks up’ or ‘pull your finger out'or 'take a chair!’ Are you with me? She’d be flat out trying to cop on to the message.    How difficult would it be to get a handle on the meaning of a message if it can only be taken literally. Consider the expressions ‘to get a handle on something’ and ‘turns of phrase’ mentioned above. Somehow we internalise these expressions, which make particular meanings and we draw them out of our linguistic hat and use them in the right place at the right time in the right context (We hope!). But what of the student who has Aspergers Syndrome?    What assumptions can we make about her capacity to understand these culturally specific idioms? I was once asked to observe a student in the classroom...