REBTOZ

The Dalai Lama says to be kind wherever possible and that it’s always possible. He talks about ‘cultivating’ attitudes of kindness and to practise empathy and sincere concern for others. Then there’s ‘mindfulness’, practising awareness of our feelings and actions and our underlying attitudes. What are we doing? How are we feeling? How are we behaving? Kindness is catching! Albert Ellis talks about unconditional acceptance of others (UOA). This entails consciously and intentionally being aware of our prejudices and dislikes when considering others and not judging them totally on the basis of a disagreeable (to you) quality or characteristic. Random acts of kindness it is said is as good for the giver as it is for the receiver (givee?) because it engenders feelings of empathy and concern. It enables the release of endorphins which produce the ‘natural high’ we may experience. We can choose to act kindly towards others and the trick it seems is not to accept a...

'There's enough there for an entire conference!' the psychiatrist guest was heard to say to another on witnessing the behaviour of hapless Basil of Fawlty Towers fame (BBC TV UK). 'There's enough there for an entire conference.' This quote comes to mind whenever I experience behaviour that is beyond the generally agreed norm of what constitutes civility in the workplace. A persons general demeanour and actions can have a positive effect on others; encouraging, supportive and respectful or they can have an otherwise entirely negative effect on them! Basil's behaviour invoked feelings of frustration and anger from others (how can anyone be so inept) but it was counter balanced by other more 'reasonable' characters like Sybil and Polly who would challenge Basil who it seemed was incapable of any insight in to how his behaviour effected work colleagues! Poor Manuel would cop it mercilessly from Basil who always remained loyal and respectful o...

A federal politician called his political opponent 'an economic girlie man.'  He claims the slur was not 'gender specific' so cannot be construed as sexist. I'm not sure what this means but it again brings into question the appropriateness of casual throwaway gender based put downs as a way to entertain, get a laugh or to demean someone. Is it OK to use gender in such a way? Is it just fun? Have a look at this video. It illustrates how 'girly' behaviour is conditioned, subordinating the female gender role in society. Compare and contrast the 'I act like a girl' and 'I act as myself' behaviours. One characterises a subservient attitude of how others 'expect' her to behave, the other of assertive confidence and self acceptance.  Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels. ~Faith Whittlesey