REBTOZ

If the 'map' (our belief constructions) isn’t the 'territory' (reality) and people believe it is, then there’s a lot of unwarranted emotional and behavioural upset endured by many who believe what they think is reality. This kind of thinking sees life’s twists and turns as major inconveniences that shouldn’t happen. So, if, for example someone doesn’t say thanks when you open the door for them, and you feel the indignation rise within, and you say ‘you’re welcome’ after them, who or what is causing your angst? The answer is that you are! But how? Rational Emotive behaviour Therapy, (REBT), the Stoics, General Semantics and the Buddha say that how we interpret what’s happening has a connection to our emotional and behavioural response. How we interpret what’s happening is related to philosophical belief rules we’ve constructed over time, of which we may not be aware. Consider the scenario above, how might the aggrieved person be thinking at the time, about the inci...

Don Hoffman, cognitive scientist, would say that the labels or words one might ascribe me are not me. Similarly, my ideas about my self are but representations of who I think I am. I can do good but that doesn’t make me good, how one esteems me is not me either. If I unconditionally accept myself, I don’t need others to approve of me, though I might prefer that they did. The Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy is designed to teach young learners that the ideas and beliefs they construct about themselves are not them. Even Einstein, it is said, argued that he was not nor could he be a genius. He said he had exceptional aptitudes in some areas but was lacking in many others so how could he be perfect as the word genius might imply? It would be useful to convey the message to students at every opportunity that what they do and how others might esteem them, is not them. If teachers can feedback to the six Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper capabilities they are doing the following: · ...

We have rules that guide our behaviour many (if not all) of which we are unaware! Psychologists tell us that we behave as we do because of certain rules we have constructed over time. These rules are so deeply ingrained in our subconscious that we would find it hard to articulate the rationale for doing what we do or feeling how we feel. The great Albert Ellis said: “Too many people are unaware that it is not outer events or circumstances that will create happiness; rather, it is our perception of events and of ourselves that will create, or uncreate, positive emotions.” Albert Ellis Quotes Where do these rules come from? Do we learn them from others and if they are unconscious ‘belief rules’ how can we get to know them? I think it’s true to say that our ‘rules of engagement’ with the world around us are indeed learned but what’s the likelihood of ever learning what they are? This would be insightful, new knowledge which would have benefits for the learner. What if some or mo...