REBTOZ

Student C often found himself excluded from the class for his behaviour. He would sit quietly outside the room or he would find his way upstairs to speak to a person in leadership. The counsellor would engage with him and over a series of meetings together they worked out what the issue was. Student C would declare often and in different ways that he was ‘bad,’ ‘dumb,’ ‘stupid’ etc. He was adamant about this and it seemed that he would not be moved from that position! He was big in stature for his age, quiet and withdrawn generally which seemed to reflect the low estimation he had of himself. He seemed to feel angry, not towards others but more towards himself. When feelings ran high he could express himself in ways that were not acceptable but understandable. He might run his pen across his page of work or indeed rip the page out of his exercise book. He would write ‘STUPID’ across the brim of his school hat in texta. His frustration was palpable and his ideas about himself were ent...

Early childhood is where the action is! Little children catch on quickly to ideas which are quirky and amusing. Just look at the Wiggles and their enduring popularity with the younger folk. Tap into their sense of the ridiculous and you have something to work with. Mr Chin is a character who doesn't finish his jobs. He stops himself because his Brain Bully thinking tells him 'it's too hard.' The video explains what Brain Bully is and how to teach it using the experiences of Mr Chin . This 7 minute video is for the younger children and suggest ways their parents and carers can help them learn that their thinking, feelings and behaviours are all interconnected. Have a look :) 

Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA) is a useful anti self disturbance belief resource developed by the grandfather of cognitive therapy, Dr Albert Ellis. He understood he was imperfect but he determined early on in the piece that despite his flaws he was always OK. OK, according to the gospel of St. Albert meant that he and everyone else could believe their way into unconditionally accepting themselves. Unconditional self-acceptance renders a person psychologically resistant to the slings and arrows that others may cast their way in the form of put down, harsh criticisms; unfair and damning, and all manner of failings and personal imperfections. This of course comes with practice and determination, vigilance and hard work. So how does one become self-accepting? This has been the focus of many or most of this blog content e.g Unconditional Self-Acceptance , but in a nutshell USA is knowing that a persons worth is not negotiable; it's a given, we're born with it! ...

I saw the sign ‘head for rent’ and thought I couldn’t possibly pass up such an opportunity. I’ll pay in kind of course (as I don’t materially exist) and I can be a helpful adviser to you but I am you at the same time. How can that be you ponder? All I can say is that I am me talking to you but you are me and so you are talking to yourself. If that’s giving you a headache, I can’t empathise because I don’t have a head but I live inside yours. I’m the talk you hear inside your head, I’m Brain Friend and I’m here to stay. Two of us are one We are in this together We will work hard to move ahead Even in stormy weather! Your previous tenant, old Brain Bully had set up permanent residence here and by all accounts had a great time making you sad and causing you not to try all those things you would like to do because he told you ‘you’re so dumb. Don’t even try. What’s the point?’ There are some reminders of his presence here. I can see the tear stains on y...

And the world continued to turn. His world turned within that world. In his world everything was neat, tidy, symmetrical, clean, and predictable. This was his template for ‘normal,’ the way things 'should' be. Ordered. His world was the way it 'must' be and the big world beyond was anything but. The tension between what he demanded of the world and how things were in reality was always close to breaking. Taut. Tense. 'The Angry Man.' We might talk of one world but there are many individually constructed worldviews. Mental health according to  Albert Ellis  is when we best align our own expectations and demands of self, others and life in general based on what we are most likely to get. If we don't want to feel uncomfortable and if we believe the world should give us what we want and it doesn't there is a disparity between what we want and what we receive! As Ellis reminds us: 'The world isn't for us or against us. It doesn't give a shit...

Many would say that bullies bully because they feel inferior and they get a 'self esteem' boost when they put others 'in their place.' Research Ken Rigby/Giulio Bortolozzo  suggests that bullies can have a healthy sense of self worth but may still be inclined to bully others. The research suggests that in schools we can focus on 'psychologically immunising' our students with a dose of Unconditional Self Acceptance (USA). Albert Ellis encourages us to develop our USA so we are less likely to be the targets of bullies because we will more inclined to act confidently. Bullies will tend to target those they perceive to be weak. Some would also say that bullying is a cowardly act! My experience of bullies suggests that this is so.  # REBT   # schools   # bullying   # mentalhealth Some people manage bullies well, whilst others don't. It's always a question of how well the prospective victim can learn to manage the bully. A 'good' bully will ...

Dear Friends and Colleagues, The masterful and great Albert Ellis PhD passed on July 24th, 2007. The years have flown by, and I wonder what he might think if he were still alive. I think it is highly likely that he would enjoy the remarkable progress of neuro-physiological research and findings, and the continuing embrace of the cognitive approach in psychotherapy (he heralded in the cognitive revolution in psychotherapy in the 1950's). I suspect that journalists would be clamoring to hear his views, on a regular basis, about the current state of our country and the world - and his responses would be sharp, rational, direct, and interspersed with his fine and piercing wit! He might regret that some of the people who, in his lifetime, championed the REBT approach are in recent years merging their work with a more general CBT approach, for as much as he immensely respected CBT and the outstanding research associated with it, it does not, as much as REBT does, emphasize the human...