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Brain Friend Moves In


I saw the sign ‘head for rent’ and thought I couldn’t possibly pass up such an opportunity. I’ll pay in kind of course (as I don’t materially exist) and I can be a helpful adviser to you, but I am you at the same time. How can that be you ponder? All I can say is that I am me talking to you, but you are me and so you are talking to yourself. If that’s giving you a headache, I can’t empathise because I don’t have a head, but I live inside yours. I’m the talk you hear inside your head; I’m Brain Friend and I’m here to stay.



The two of us 

We work together

We will work hard 

Through stormy weather!

Your previous tenant, old Brain Bully had set up permanent residence here and by all accounts had a great time making you sad and causing you not to try all those things you would like to do because they told you ‘You’re so dumb. Don’t even try. What’s the point?’ There are some reminders of their presence here. I can see the tear stains on your eyes from your silent and private crying. I will help your eyes sparkle, to help you stand tall. You will feel more confident if you trust in me, if you trust in you!

Brain Bully could have stayed around a while if it weren’t for your teacher, Ms. Smithers, in year 4 who said your sadness and loneliness was caused by your Brain Bully thinking. She was on the ball when she said the type of self-talk you used was unhelpful and she gave it a name, Brain Bully. 

You were bullying yourself all that time. When someone called you a name you agreed with them. When Brain Bully said ‘you deserve it, you are a retard. You’re not worth anything’ you were bullying yourself! You were ganging up on YOU and joining other people who would want to put you down. 

No more! I’m here, Brain Friend and into the future we go! Things have changed for you as you practice your Brain Friend self-talk and thinking. Brain Bully hasn’t gone far though and they are still hanging around. They miss being here and theywill try again to move in if we are not very vigilant. So, our work will never stop, and we will always be on the lookout for Brain Bully, the Head Buster!

But we will practice and you will have homework to do. It’s more like headwork than homework but you’ll be doing it forever. You know a bit like the signs you see on the roadway saying ‘Roadwork Ahead’ where we have to slow down and make sure we do the safe and sensible thing to ensure the roads can be as good as they can be. Well imagine signs like ‘Headwork in Progress’ in your head where Brain Friend is keeping the place (your headspace) safe and in good working order so you can act and feel OK.

You gave Brain Bully the heave when you realised they were doing you no favours. You had told yourself for so long that you were no good you actually believed it. Some important people around you along the way didn’t help either, because they demanded you should be a 'good' person and when you couldn’t be perfect all the time you thought there was something wrong with you. Remember Brain Bully saying, ‘I should have done better’ and ‘see, I can’t do it’ and ‘I’m such a loser?’ In the end you wouldn’t try because Brain Bully said ‘you can’t do it so don’t try. It will only prove you are a loser.’

Things have changed and people say that you walk with a spring in your step that you walk tall and you smile more. Your headwork is paying dividends for you as you feel a lot better, you’re optimistic and bounce back quickly from disappointment. Way to go!


 

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