Mr. Popoffalot of 'Wassup? News' Interviews Ms. Smithers Part 4

Wassup? Ms Withers

Mr P’s been thinking about Ms. Smithers and her work with children in the early childhood setting. As a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator, she is keen that her young charges understand that their thinking is connected to how they feel and act. She does this via the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy, which is based on Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT).

REBT provides the counselling paradigm used by  counsellors and psychotherapists to help people identify the unhelpful and self-defeating habits of thinking that undermine their progress in life and living. It is called: The ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance .

Mr P. wants to find out how the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach addresses the issue of bullying in schools. He asks her to explain how she and her Have a Go Spaghettio! colleagues address bullying at her school.

Ms Smithers explains.

According to REBT, the ‘bully’ does not or may not show respect to others in ways that cause the victim extreme discomfort. They are targeted and perceived to have some kind of weakness or deficit that the bully believes renders them worthless in a global sense i.e., entirely so. Their acceptance of others seems to be contingent on them meeting certain criteria that defines their worth or as REBT says, accepting others only on certain conditions of acceptability.

Bully behaviour will be called out and addressed, assertively and consistently. Others who observe and stand by while someone is targeted are also complicit in their hurt. The bullying dynamic is made up of the bully, the bystander and the victim and it seems to be a perennial problem in the school setting.

Do adults bully adults in the school setting? Asks Mr P.

The bully of course is not only found amongst the young at school, but often times adults who purport to be fair and respectful are in practice bullies themselves. Ms Prudence Putty – Nose is a case in point, who, with her helpers applied all of her bullying behaviour repertoire for which she is known. But here we focus on young children and how we can help them in the bullying dynamic, especially the victim who is negatively impacted by the Success Stopper behaviour of others.

Please go on Ms. Smithers. This is very interesting.

So, what to do. I teach to the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper capabilities and their Success Stopper counterparts. I teach children that Yellow Success Helper represents unconditional other acceptance and the Orange Success Helper reminds us that we’re all OK. I feedback to children’s Success Helper behaviours and reinforce the mindset that drives these behaviours in doing so.

Crucially, for the bully victim there may be Success Stopper beliefs about the ‘self’ at play. What established, deeply held beliefs has the victim constructed that may in their behaviours and demeanour, suggest that they lack confidence, projecting a disposition that can be perceived as weak or offensive to the prospective bully. This is where the Red Success Helper capability becomes a major focus for the victim.

According to REBT and Have a Go Spaghettio! a person who believes their worth is contingent on how others ‘esteem’ them, or how they perform at tasks will have a conditional sense of self-worth; they may need or seek the approval of others to ‘be’ OK. The behavioural and emotional consequences of believing this may project a persona of unsureness, hesitance, anxiety and sadness. This where most of my Have a Go Spaghettio! work will be focused. The goal is to psychologically immunise the victim against the bully protagonist, to work on the ‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ habit of believing.

I’ll talk about this when next we meet Mr. Popoffalot.

No worries, Ms Smithers. Thanks for your time.