‘Shouldhood' causes upset or increases the intensity of what, Albert
Ellis calls, our ‘upsetness.’ The degree of ‘upsetness’ caused by our
tendency to think in ‘shoulds’ is what Ellis also calls ‘shithood:’
‘shouldhood’ leads to ‘shithood ‘ psychologically speaking.
Sometimes we might ‘should’ and stop and rethink our ‘shoulding’
reminding ourselves that to demand we should get something we
can’t get is futile. So, we recalibrate, shift our thinking to a more
logical, rational posture.
However, if we indulge in ‘should’ thinking on a more permanent
basis, where we continue to demand that things should, absolutely
be as we demand they should be, then ‘shithood’ is where we end up
until we understand how thinking effects how we feel and behave.
The world is no good, others are no good and/or you are no good
equals ‘SHITHOOD!”
‘Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.’ Shakespeare (Hamlet)
The Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to social and emotional
learning teaches early childhood constructivists that they can build
and cultivate rational habits of thinking or what Have a Go
Spaghettio! calls Success Helper or Brain Friend thinking. Students
are taught about the Think – feel – do connection, that helpful, Brain
Friend thinking makes Brain
Friend feelings and behaviours.
Brain Bully thinking is characterised by should/ought/must thinking
that causes Brain Bully feelings and behaviours. Some examples of
BB thinking:
- You must like me or I’m worthless!
- I must always do well or I’m a failure!
- The world should give me what I want or it’s not
fair!
Have a Go Spaghettio! Is based on Rational Emotive Behaviour
Therapy and General Semantics theories that say one cannot be what
we think we should be according to others to be an OK person.
Relying on others approval is a Brain Bully construct (I should be as
others say I should be – good, smart, cute, dumb etc)
Alfred Korzybski, creator of General Semantics theory, talks about
sanity and ‘unsanity.’ Brain Bully thinking causes ‘unsanity’ where
the person resides psychologically until they identify, challenge, and
change their beliefs to more sane, rational, Brain Friend beliefs. I
think the state of ‘unsanity’ is Albert Ellis’ condition of ‘shouldhood’
both characterised by irrational, Brain Bully beliefs. Unsanity,
shouldhood leads to shithood!
So, Have a Go Spaghettio! will help young learners avoid the
ravages of ‘shoudlhood’ if they learn about Brain Friend, Success
Helper ways of thinking and if they arrive in ‘shithood’ at times they
will know they are there and why and will be able to extricate
themselves and manage adversity in a reasonable, Brain Friend
thinking way!
Give a try Banana Pie!
