Students on the Autism Spectrum and REBE

The English lingo is replete with idioms that would pose a problem or two to a student with Aspergers Syndrome. Certain turns of phrase would be as clear as muddy water! She would remain none the wiser if you were to ask her to ‘pull your socks up’ or ‘pull your finger out'or 'take a chair!’ Are you with me? She’d be flat out trying to cop on to the message.  How difficult would it be to get a handle on the meaning of a message if it can only be taken literally.

Consider the expressions ‘to get a handle on something’ and ‘turns of phrase’ mentioned above. Somehow we internalise these expressions, which make particular meanings and we draw them out of our linguistic hat and use them in the right place at the right time in the right context (We hope!). But what of the student who has Aspergers Syndrome?  What assumptions can we make about her capacity to understand these culturally specific idioms?

I was once asked to observe a student in the classroom setting as the teacher had some concerns about the child’s behaviour. I asked the student on one occasion ‘is that your paper under the desk there? To which he replied ‘yes it is’ and continued to carry on doing what he was doing. Implied in my words and tone was ‘there’s paper under your desk. I assume it’s yours and will you pick it up?’ I expected that the student would understand this, as most other students would do in my experience. I remember I found this interesting and repeated what I asked before. The result was exactly the same and then it dawned on me (‘to dawn on someone’ – another one!) that this person might be exhibiting characteristics of Aspergers Syndrome.   He understood the literal meaning of what I had said and responded accordingly but had missed the other more subtle meanings conveyed by tone and body language. How much more trouble would this student have dealing with idiomatic terms such as those mentioned above?

As it turned out he was diagnosed eventually as having Aspergers Syndrome.

What can happen if we assume a student ‘should’ know what was being asked of him? He would be reprimanded possibly labeled a naughty so and so who ‘should’ show more respect to his elders! The student would be wondering what’s going on. ‘You asked me if that was my paper under my desk and I answered you. Why am I in trouble?’ And it would escalate from there as mutual misunderstanding prevailed. 

As Karen Horney once said

‘Try to eliminate the word ‘SHOULD’ from your vocabulary … but try doing so though without replacing ‘SHOULD’ with OUGHT or YOU”D better.”

Karen Horney

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education reminds us that when we operate from a ‘shouldist’ perspective we don’t make helpful judgements and we don’t feel our optimum best.  Our ‘behaviour management’ approach to addressing student behaviour is based on such a perspective. All students are the same and they should all know better. Right?

Not true. Someone once said, ‘treating everyone the same is not equality.’

However we continue to persist with this system of warnings, detention, suspension and exclusion. Why is this approach unhelpful to our Aspergers student? What ‘musts’ ‘oughts’ and ‘shoulds’ underpin this one size fits all approach to behaviour (mis)education?

Rational Emotive Behaviour Educators will:

·  Not assume that all students absolutely should behave as the teacher believes they must.

·  Remain calm as they will not demand that they should get something that they know they won’t get (in the short term).

·  Teach students how their thinking feeling and behaviour are linked together.

·  Negotiate learning goals with students to help them develop their competencies.

·  Regard behaviour education as part of the curriculum and not exclusive of it.

Specific to the Asperger child the Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator will:

·  Understand that she will take things literally so teaching about idiom would help or choosing not to use it is an option in some situations.

·  Be explicit, ‘please pick up that paper under your desk?’ rather than ‘is that your paper under the desk?’

·   Help her challenge inflexible ‘must’ expectations e.g. ‘People must always behave as I believe they must’ or ‘things always must be the way I want them to be’ (social stories, change classroom furniture, change the timetable) by exposing the student to subtle and explained changes.

·  Teach her to put the ‘badness’ of situations in perspective, to decatastrophise so she accepts that when she doesn’t get what she believes she must have, she can handle it.

·  Teach her to prefer rather than demand that others/the world should always give her what she wants.

Relax. Catch some rays and a few zzzz's

Mental Health, Teaching and Learning - lives under construction

Children are constructivists. They make sense of what's happening and put two and two together and make their own four. Depression is a condition that undermines our ability to engage with the world successfully. What habits of believing have we constructed? Do we know what they are? Can we do anything about it? Why do I feel as I feel? Good questions to ponder and Rational Emotive Behaviour Education facilitates the students capacity to think about their thinking, to examine the philosophies they hold. If we have constructed our depression by cultivating irrational (unhelpful, unhealthy) habits of believing then we can deconstruct it! We can constantly revisit the meanings we have made about our experiences and re examine them through the REBE lens. 'Am I worthless? What does this mean? What evidence is there to support this hypothesis? What reconstructed meanings can I make that best fit the evidence?' This kind of awareness and learning allows the person to monitor their mental health, to make decisions about what they can do to help themselves forge ahead in the world. The REBE approach to Positive Psychology is promoted through The Rational Emotive Behaviour Education in Schools Program which is being implemented in many schools in South Australia. Para Hills School P-7 staff is working hard to help children understand how as constructivists they can thrive even when confronted with change and challenge. This is a useful thing to do.

Ruby is Confident - A six year olds perspective

Ruby is six years old. She loves school and is having a great time. Her mum is a sole parent who exudes optimism and has a great sense of fun. Ruby's Nana and Pop often drop her off at school and they show a keen interest in what she does. Is Ruby happy because she was born that way or has she learnt to be happy or is there some kind of magical combination of many factors and influences that contribute to her positive demeanor?

It is hard to know and when we start to talk about which factors are most influential we enter the realms of conjecture and approximations. Some say genetics is the major player whilst others will say conditioning and learning is most influential. 

As a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator I have a base theory which helps me to make an informed assessment as to why Ruby is Ruby. Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance explains or postulates that as constructivist learners we formulate our core habits of thinking as we experience the world and others around us. These habits of thinking drive our emotions and behaviours.

Let's assume that Ruby is genetically predetermined and charged to experience life with vim and vigor; to thrive and deal with disappointment and setbacks healthily never dwelling too long on problems before moving on. And then add the parenting style of a mother who takes risks, never self downs or judges others too harshly. A parent who always addresses behaviour and avoids personal put downs. A person who owns her own feelings never blaming Ruby for how she might feel. She will not only encourage her daughter to try new things she herself models the same attitudes and behaviours, risking failure but remains optimistic and hopeful. Of course Nan and Pop will value add to what Ruby is and will become.

I asked Ruby what she thought confidence was and she said 'I'm not scared to do things even if I they go wrong.' That's what I'm talking about!

Ruby and her sister Emerald

Para Hills School P 7 http://www.parahillr7.sa.edu.au staff have been trained in the understanding and application of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy theory in daily teaching practice. Through the 'Success Helper Well Being Framework' we help children like Ruby and her peers to be as happy and healthy as they can be. We are Rational Emotive Behaviour Educators.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Counselling - anxiety in young students and what to do about it

I find with some students that their anxiety is driven by the mistaken belief that somehow they themselves are responsible for how the teacher feels. Where would this idea come from? As discussed in many previous posts the young person would have constructed a set of personal beliefs that explain how and why others feel and act as they do. 

Consider a moment what a child might deduce when exposed to the following statements from adults around them:

'You make me happy when you do that.'
'You make me angry when you do that.'
'You make me feel whatever when you do that ...!'

They would conclude that 'my actions; what I do is responsible for how my mum/dad/teacher feels. I will try hard to be 'good' so that they feel good (because it's my responsibility). I don't want to 'make' them sad or mad so I'd better be on my best behaviour. I must behave and 'be good'.'

I'm OK!

As Albert Ellis reminds us when we have must expectations about ourselves (musturbation), others and the world we set ourselves up for great discomfort because we place ourselves often in a no win situation. What's the chances of our little friend stuffing up sometimes and making the odd mistake. Highly likely I'd say and when that happens 'back to shithood' she goes as Ellis would say!

Once she understands that as constructivists we make the strength of our feelings and the behaviours we make because of how we think she will be free of this affliction. The following is a transcript of counselling sessions I have had with students:

Me: You look sad.
Sofi: Yes I feel sad.
Me: What happened?
Sofi: The teacher shouted.
Me: How'd you feel?
Sofi: Scared.
Me: You feel/felt sad and scared because the teacher shouted?
Sofi: Yes. I do/did.
Me: Why was the teacher mad?
Sofi: Because someone talked and we shouldn't talk when the teacher is talking.
Me: So the students made your teacher mad is that right?
Sofi: Yes

Six year old Sofi believes that she and her classmates are responsible for how the teacher feels. She is in a high state of anxiety a lot of the time because no matter what happens she feels responsible and 'really doesn't want anyone to talk when the teacher is talking.'

It is important for teachers and adult role models to let students know that how they feel and behave is their own personal responsibility i.e. their thinking makes them act and feel as they do. Then children like little Sofi will not feel so bad and not take responsibility for how others feel so readily. 

Unconditional Self Acceptance

Counselling - has REBT lost it's relevance?

Counselling is more than having a chat with someone though in itself this can be helpful, therapeutic even. But like any discipline there needs to be purpose to any endeavour. What is it we want to achieve for the client and what's in it for me? Can we cause more harm than good or not benefit the other at all? What is counselling any way but two people talking about something? 

What do we want to achieve? The goal will always be to help the person you are working with to develop insight and to have the tools to work on themselves as they are getting on with their life. Is it telling people what they need to know or do they know already? These are things the counsellor will consider as the session/s unfold.

Is there a payoff for me? Yes there are many but it is important to know what they are. If our main purpose is to feel good about ourselves we are not going to be useful. There are some self appointed experts who seek out opportunities to practise empathy on others asking 'how did that make you feel?' and 'it makes me (the counsellor) feel so proud when you ...' or 'I like it when you ...' It is not about how the counsellor feels or what she particularly likes that is most important here and can your client 'make' you feel anything? Of course people can be well intended but good intentions are not what counselling is about and they certainly won't help your client!

What is the counsellors approach based on? My tool of choice is REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) developed by Albert Ellis. It is a constructivist approach to counselling based on the premise that we have developed habits of thinking that underpin the behaviours and emotions we experience in response to daily life events. Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance model helps us teach this philosophy to others. Other peoples theories and ideas make up my counselling toolkit but Ellis' REBT is my foundation model of choice. Why? Because it works!

We have our base theory (REBT) but what skills do we need to develop to effectively support the client? Counselling skills are developed, honed with practise over time. Reflective listening, identifying issues of concern, working out what personal philosophies the client has constructed that are not helpful or indeed are harmful (Cherchez le should as Ellis would say) and activities to work on to achieve therapeutic aims. The list can go on! Is Ellis relevant? I say a resounding yes to that. Ellis' work is as relevant as ever if not more so!

Rational Emotive Behaviour in Schools Program 2015

Para Hills School P-7 has kicked off the New Year with school wide educator training in the application of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy in daily teaching practise through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education. The focus is on developing student and educator capability via Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance. We teach students that as constructivists they have developed habits of thinking that are useful (rational) or not so useful (irrational). With this insight students can learn how to manage themselves behaviourally and emotionally more effectively especially in the tough times. This learning/teaching is core business at Para Hills School P-7 and The REBE in Schools Program will help students engage more deeply with learning; to take healthy risks and to work hard towards their personal and learning goals. Principal Peter Reid says; 'The REBE in Schools Program will help students develop the capabilities that will help them to be happy and successful.' Other staff have said: 'I like having a framework I can use to help students understand how thinking, feeling and behaving are interconnected.' 'I would have liked to have had REBE training at Uni.' 'REBE is an educative approach to behaviour development and fits with my constructivist approach.' 'This is essential learning for all educators.' Good stuff!

From the balcony - Adelaide evening skies

Teach Children to be Healthy and Happy - A prescription for child resilience

Published on August 8, 2012 by Bill Knaus, Ed.D. in Science and Sensibility

Self-acceptance and confidence are a dynamite combination for any adult and any child to possess. Australian educator, Giulio Bortolozzo, shows how to use rational principles to earn this result.

The rhyme, Little Jack Horner, carries a conditional-worth message: Your worth depends on what you do. For those who don’t remember, here’s the rhyme:

Little Jack Horner, sat in the corner, eating a Christmas pie. He put in his thumb, and pulled out a plum, and said 'What a good boy am I!

Is it possible that Jack was a good boy because he pulled out a plum from the Christmas pie? What if he messed up and missed the plumb? Would this make him a bad person? This illustrates the problem with conditional-worth thinking.

It is often self-defeating to rate your worth according to how well (or badly) you perform at certain tasks. If you discover the plumb, that is great. If not, too bad.

Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) teaches that doing and being are different ideas. Consider the following rework of this popular children’s rhyme.

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner reflecting on the day. I succeeded once. I mucked up twice. But, I am always OK!

Young people can benefit greatly by understanding and developing unconditional self-acceptance (USA).  You will not always like the results of your actions. Nevertheless, you can still accept yourself as worthwhile despite your foibles, faults, and mistakes. You also need not falsely elevate yourself if you have a great day. That too, is a conditional-worth issue.

A self-accepting child will normally appreciate that some failure is inevitable but will not take it too seriously when it occurs i.e. “I am not a failure for failing at X.”  This type of believing is a formula for resilience. It correlates with a self-efficacy belief: “I can organize, coordinate, and execute actions to reach worthy goals.”  Self-efficacy correlates with higher school grades.

You may be thinking, “What can I do as an educator or parent to promote a habit of believing in yourself?” Before I get into that, I’d like to take you on a quick tour of how to apply USA to yourself.

The Rational Teacher

Albert Ellis, the founder of REBT, was renowned for creating rational songs for audiences to sing, for his brand of humor, and for his colorful phrases. Ellis would often use these techniques to help people debunk negative self-views that are based on conditional self-acceptance (CSA). 

Here is an adult CSA example: “I am a turd for acting turdily, as I must not do. And I'll always be this way, and I'll never succeed" (Albert Ellis). Think this way, and you are likely to risk self-loathing when you don’t do as you believe you should do.

Ellis used earthy language to demonstrate unconditional self-acceptance (USA). For example, I can hear him say, “If they don’t like how I express myself, too damn bad! I accept myself anyway”. His point: “I don’t need your approval to accept myself. But I recognize that approval is preferable.”

Ellis ably separated performance from worth. You may have acted turdily in a particular instance. You can pay a price in the form of lost advantages or social penalties. But, is this the totality of you?

How do you determine the global worth of a person? Admittedly, this is by definition.

Ellis’ position is that we are worthwhile because we exist and how well or badly we do or how others view us cannot change that. If you don’t like that static definition, here is a process definition: You have thousands of past and ongoing actions that you can classify into different categories. Many of these are objectively positive. Bottom line: a changing human can’t logically be pigeonholed in a static category.

If you thought Ellis’ earthy phrases were funny, you’d laugh. If you were horrified, you’d cringe. If someone cringed and reported feeling offended by his colorful language, Ellis might use this occasion to demonstrate his ABC approach. He would point out that his expletives (Activating event) don’t cause distress. What the listener Believes about the words brings about an emotional-behavioral Consequence.

Teaching Children Self-Acceptance Skills

Children are better prepared to deal with adversity, failure, and rejection by knowing their worth is not tethered to how others view them or how well or badly they do. However, if someone else acts poorly, the concept of acceptance still applies.

Ellis describes this as unconditional other-acceptance (UOA). This is how the philosophy works:  A child believes that a teacher “…made me angry and that’s why I left the classroom. She is bad!” 

The following rework of the Little Jack Horner rhyme illustrates UOA:

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner resting reflectively. He thought, “Is my teacher a turd?” “No that’s absurd! She just acted turdily!” (You can substitute other words for turd).

A teacher (or parent, or neighbor, or friend) isn’t bad though she or he may have behaved badly.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that anything goes. Rob a bank. Tell a judge you are more than your acts. You are still going to jail. A school bully acts badly. You don’t like it. If the bully runs for class president, you can vote for someone else.

As an educational experiment, ask your child to compare this UOA Little Jack Horner rhyme with the self-acceptance and original conditional-worth versions. A child’s answer(s) can start a useful dialogue.

Practical Tips

Without instruction in psychological mental health skills, the educative process may look like an empty space of broken student desks and chairs. Helping children build self-acceptance skills can help turn classrooms into centers for teaching and learning what Socrates called the ultimate virtue: self-knowledge.

Here are some REBT tips to help children build these acceptance skills:

Practice behavior specific feedback e.g.

"You did that well/badly" rather than person specific, "You are

 naughty, lazy."’ This teaches USA.

Encourage children to try new things and take prudent risks.

Practice your own USA (model how accepting you are of

yourself). For example, say aloud:

(1) “I didn’t do that well but I’m still OK.”

(2) “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me dumb.”

(3) “I have made mistakes but I’m not one.”

Teach your children that needless anger is made by irrational habits of thinking i.e. teachers or parents don’t make you mad by correcting you. That's something you bring on yourself.

This is an Albert Ellis Tribute Series Blog.

©Giulio Bortolozzo. Accredited REBT educator and trainer working in South Australia. Founder and director of the Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre. Official rational emotive education representative for Australia. See: Albert Ellis Professional Learning Center

Twitter: @rebtoz