Walking the REBT talk is a challenge as I find myself acting and emoting in ways that suggest an absolute should or must expectation is lurking somewhere deep in my mind. At least I am aware of it and can 'cherche le should' as Dr. Ellis would say.
Assume that most times when you feel anxious, depressed, or angry you are not only strongly desiring but also commanding that something go well and that you get what you want. Cherchez le should, cherchez le must! Look for your should, look for your must! Don’t give up until you find it. If you have trouble finding it, seek the help of a friend, relative, or REBT therapist who will help you find it. Persist! Albert Ellis
Latterly, the idea that certain things shouldn't happen or people should act in ways I think they should give rise to uncomfortable feelings that linger and impact my quality of life.
Marcus Aurelius said the quality of our thinking effects the quality of our life and this too is the REBT message, and of course that is key to assimilating what's happening and then deciding how if it all it will remain an encumbrance.
I work with early childhood student constructivists, and we talk about thinking and how it is connected to how we feel and act. Brain Friend or Success Helper thinking helps us manage ourselves effectively and Success Stopper/Brain Bully thinking makes things worse than they need to be.
These ideas are features of Have a go Spaghettio!, a method of
teaching that brings REBT into the early childhood setting as Dr Ellis invites
us to do.
Give it a try banana pie!
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