Skip to main content

Have a Go Spaghettio! and The Emotional Thermometer

 

You Tube Video

This presentation introduces or revisits the emotional thermometer or ET for short. EQ or emotional intelligence involves the ability to regulate how we feel and behave so it's useful to alert young people to the idea that how we feel, or the strength of how we feel is not only connected to what happens, the event, but also to our interpretation of what happened.

The ET helps young constructivists develop a broader emotional vocabulary that represents various strengths of emotion. Let’s continue.

Here we visit again the story of Franklins Bad Day. The day that he believes is bad may not be so, but his fixed ideas or fixed mindset thinking that things should be as he wants them to be, contrives against his emotional and behavioural wellbeing. This story uses the stages of Albert Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance, to analyse a text that will introduce the notion that ‘it isn’t what happens to us that makes us feel and act as we do, but it's how we view, interpret the situation, our response to it.’ Epictetus 100AD

 

BOURGEOIS, PAULETTE ...

In the story Franklin feels out of sorts and others can see this. His anger is expressed in the way he speaks to his parents and friends, he doesn’t want to engage with others, and he is sent to his room. So, what happened? Why is Franklin so unsettled? Let’s find the A part of Dr Ellis’ ABC paradigm. His best friend Otter has moved away. How is he feeling at C? Anger and deep sadness. Why? Because he believes this should not happen and things must be the same or he can’t be happy again!

Ellis talks about absolute must type thinking, intransigent and fixed. Here Franklin’s settled and predictable way of life has been upset and changed. Is it reasonable to demand that things stay the same as Franklin would expect? REBT says no.

Ultimately Franklins outlook changes with the help of his father and he feels again happy and optimistic. Has Otter returned? No. So what has changed?

Franklin’s mindset has become more fluid and accommodating of what has happened. He’s altered his mind map to better reflect the territory, the reality of what's happening. Franklin’s thinking is more preferential than absolutist. Whilst he would like Otter to be living near, she can’t but they can still be friends in a different way.

Ask the children why does Franklin feel better. Is it because Otter has returned? No. So, what has changed. Brain Bully thinking has changed to Brain Friend thinking, from Success Stopper thinking to Success Helper thinking.

The ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is introduced here and reinforced via literacy, reading and talking and applying to personal experience.

JENNINGS, SHARON: Amazon.com.au: Books

The ET above, we’ll use here to explain the function or purpose of it in daily teaching and counselling practice. It’s simply a thermometer and children will be able to suggest what it is according to their knowledge and experience. As a particular kind of thermometer measures heat this measures feelings and emotions. When we consider anger and think of words that belong to this family of words, we might talk about how they would be paced on the ET in terms of their strength or intensity. E.G., words like, angry, annoyed, miffed, enraged, furious, irate, irked, vexed, irritated

With young constructivists we might use the annoyed, angry, furious, miffed. Where would these sit on the ET scale of emotional intensity?

Emotional Literacy is the ability to identify, understand, express, and manage emotions in oneself and others according to AI. EQ or emotional intelligence is having the ability to regulate how we feel and behave especially when challenged. Ellis teaches us that as our belief constructions or rules effect how we feel and behave then we can learn to monitor how we are feeling and to check in on our thinking, our mental assessment of the situation. The latter capability is a feature of metacognition, which develops later from the age of 12 -15 years. If we can teach these rudimentary ideas from an early age, then we set the children up for success.

Teachers can add to their literacy program and include emotional literacy as demonstrated by the Franklin analysis.

In summary we have considered how we might teach and reinforce the idea that thinking, feeling and acting are interconnected in the early childhood setting.

Franklin’s demeanour was one of anger and deep upset, and the ET helped us ascertain the kind and strength of emotion he was experiencing. However, his disposition changed to one of positivity and enthusiasm because something fundamental had changed.

His upset is linked to irrational thinking, or Success Stopper/Brain Bully thinking. The children will suggest this as they are familiar with these terms. What are his BB rules that cause his upset?

-       I must get what I want

-       This is not fair

-       I'll never be happy again

His dad helped him look again, rethink the situation and Franklin changed his rigidly held outlook to a SH/BF one:

-       It’s not what I want but I can still be friends with Otter

-       I can handle this

-       This is not a humungous problem

What had changed? The children will tell you!

Teachers can use the many songs and rhymes available to reinforce the philosophy expounded via the HAGS Framework.

Dr Ellis here reminds us that how we feel and act is largely due to the personal philosophies we have constructed be they helpful or helpful, rational, or irrational, BF/SH or BB/SS thinking. In other words, we make ourselves feel as we do!

Have a Go Spaghettio! Give It a Try Banana Pie!

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Grieving the Loss of Self When Narcissistic Feed Dries Up

Professor Sam Vaknin is an authority on narcissistic personality disorder. His videos are informative and well communicated which helped my understanding of this condition. A narcissists  'feed' dries up when the supply of others adulation and affirmation withers and stops. A crisis ensues when the narcissist realises that incoming approval has diminished and their idealised self is under attack. The contrived and carefully constructed 'self' is no longer acknowledged and valued by external sources. They cease 'to be' because the sources feeding their self sees through the narcissists grandiose and phony veneer. (see  Ms. Prudence Putty-Nose  ) The self they have concocted and which demands the positive regard and affirmation of those they have trained to adore them, is but an irrational virtual representation of the real world. There's a disparity between the narcissists version of reality and how things really are, projecting a world of fantasy replayed on...

APPROVALISM – the philosophy of the ‘love slob’

An approvalist is one who practices the philosophy of Approvalism. An approvalist lives life for the service of others seemingly without thought for self, ministering to the needs of others, making life ‘better’ for them. A good approvalist needs to do for others and her worth is measured according to how others view her and how helpful she can be to others. Approvalists say ‘yes’ to others demands and requests and are ultra sensitive to the needs of others (they must be rescued and saved). If they don’t perform to their own lofty expectations or (quelle catastrophe!) others don’t seem to value them (as they should) then they tend to harshly judge themselves as being ‘bad’ and may down themselves harshly! They will think, ‘I should have known that he needed support. I should have been there. I should have done better. I am a loser. It’s my fault he is in such a mess.’ They may also experience deep anger and direct it towards those ‘who do not appreciate me, after all shouldn’t they ...

Positive Psychology and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy

The ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance illustrates how feelings and behaviour at C are determined by what happens at A and B i.e. what we believe (B) about what happens (A). This is an A+B=C philosophy. What happens when our constructed view of ourselves equates to an A=C way of believing e.g. failing at A makes me feel depressed at C and causes me to give up. An A=C philosophy ‘If I fail at A I feel really bad at C 'it' (A) makes me angry and sad’ is problematic for our less resilient kids because they are unaware that constructed beliefs at B have a lot to do with it! 
A is what happens e.g. 'someone has rejected me!' and C is how I feel and act in response to A e.g. 'I feel really sad because she has rejected me so I stay at home etc' The depth of despair and how long it lasts will depend on how self accepting the person is. If a child ‘needs’ the approval of others he/she is at risk of depression, anger, anxiety because...