Have a Go Spaghettio! and Narcissism

Narcissism can begin to develop in early childhood, with some traits appearing around ages 7 or 8 as children start to evaluate themselves based on others' perceptions. The development of narcissism is a result of a combination of genetic and environmental factors, with contributing factors including childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, inconsistent or overly indulgent parenting, and excessive criticism or praise. 

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) says narcissism is linked to irrational beliefs about one's self-worth which can lead to emotional disturbances like excessive self-criticism or grandiose self-inflation. The core REBT approach is to identify and dispute these beliefs, helping the individual cultivate  unconditional self-acceptance a more realistic, balanced view of self that is not dependent on external validation or achievements. This involves replacing beliefs like "I must be superior" with more rational ones, teaching the individual to tolerate setbacks and criticism without "disturbing themselves" emotionally. 

Ms Putty-Nose was overindulged by her doting parents who believed that giving her what she wanted was what good parents do. They were so 'good' at parenting and young Prudence was a ‘good’ girl. Her parents told her not only was she good, but  she was the best, she was special and better than the rest. Prudence believed this because that’s what she was told. She had learned two rules of life thus far that she would carry with her:

·       I must get what I want because I’m special

·       Other people should treat me how I wish  to be treated because I’m special

Her ‘Specialness’ learned to seek out those who would give her what she wanted, the attention she needed to maintain her sense of ‘self.’ Those who didn’t, were the enemy, as they didn’t revere her as she believed they should.

‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ (IWC) thinking is what Jonas Salk speculated was an antidote to depression anxiety and other self-driven ailments that constitute what Albert Ellis calls, our ‘upsetness.’ Dr Salk developed the polio vaccine for which we are all grateful, providing us lifelong protection against the dreaded disease.

Psychological immunisation Salk imagined, would be a protective factor against psychological harm, the ability to know when we were upset, why and then being able to do something about it. We would be able to formulate and practice evidence-based habits of thinking that would keep us strong, especially in challenging times.

Seven- and eight-year-olds are developing the capacity to think logically, they can conserve  number and think abstractly as they reach Piaget’s concrete operational stage of their development. As they reach Piaget’s formal operations in senior primary school, they can learn to think about their thinking, metacognition.

The aim of Have a Go Spaghetti! Is to provide the knowledge and skills in the early years that will support the older child to think about their thinking in a constructive way, based on the Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy principles via Rational Emotive Behaviour Education.

People learn to develop ideas about themselves as they grow, some rational and others not so. A rational or flexible, growth mindset would learn to ‘see’ things based on evidence, adjusting and fine tuning how they interpret what’s happening around them. Fixed mindset thinking is rigid and inflexible. It expects the world to be as they demand it should be according to their way of thinking. They might think for instance that they must always reach their goals and to fall short would mean they are failures who must not fail and should always succeed.

Or if someone is told often enough that they are exceptional human beings, gifted and special, better than most if not everyone else. Then what? They might become a nervous wreck because they will inevitably fail at things and there will be those who don’t seem to want them in their circle of friends. They may decline into a state of depression and  self-loathing, believing that they’ll never amount to much and what’s the point anyway! See Ms. Prudence Putty - Nose needs an ambulance

I regard ‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ believing to be the ‘psychological vaccine’ against e.g., the tendency to catastrophise about things that are ‘standable,’ to ward off what Albert Ellis calls ‘Ican’tstanitdititis!’ This affliction of the mind reflects a philosophical outlook which demands that things ought not go awry, that things should or must always turn out as we’d want them to.

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to psycho-social wellbeing is one powerful way to equip our young learners with the ability to ward off the affliction of fixed mindset thinking, which can cause mental ill health conditions like narcissism, depression, passive-aggression, anxiety, and toxic anger.

Have a Go Spaghettio! and Give It a Try Banana Pie!