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Jonno is not a giraffe!



Teaching children that they cannot be any word used to describe them will help them develop a healthy habit of thinking and believing that is intuitive, automatic.

This Success Helper or Brain Friend way of thinking is the goal of the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to social and emotional wellbeing, called ‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ thinking. What does this mean?

Unconditional self-acceptance is understanding that there is no law that says our worth is decided by others appraisal of us or how well or badly we do at tasks. We can e.g., act dumb/smart but we cannot be so. It is a Brain Bully belief when we decide that we ‘are’ our dumbness or smartness because it’s not true, there’s no evidence to support this hypothesis!

The Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to social and emotional wellbeing teaches young learners about Brain Friend believing which is rational and supported by the evidence.

It is as ridiculous to accept that we can be a giraffe as it is to believe we are or can be dumb! Just ask Jonno (not real name)! He came to see me for counselling at my school and the session unfolded thusly.

Me: How are you feeling?

Jonno: I feel sad because I am naughty

Me:  How do you know you’re naughty?

Jonno: I get told off all the time!

Me:  By whom?

Jonno: My dad/mum/teacher. They say, ‘you’re naughty.’

Me:  Are you a giraffe? (Child looks quizzical, laughs)

Jonno: No.

Me:  How do you know?

Jonno: I don’t have spots….

Me:  Of course you aren’t. But you are not naughty also. You are not a giraffe and you are not naughty! Can you act like a giraffe?

Jonno: Yes

Me:  But does that make you a giraffe?

Jonno: No!

Me:  Can you act naughty?

Jonno: Yes, I can.

Me:  You can act it but that doesn’t make you all naughty just like you can act like a giraffe but not all of you is like a giraffe. Do you get it?

Jonno: Kind of.

Me:  Acting naughty doesn’t make you naughty.

We said we’d catch up again to review what we talked about and in the meantime, we shared a little poem called ‘Giraffe.’

 You can call me anything

Like ‘you’re an African giraffe’

But that would be real silly

And then I would just laugh

A giraffe is tall and gangly

It eats leaves from the tops of trees

With its very long neck

And it has four knobbly knees

 

Same if you called me dumb

That would seem silly too

Coz I’m not any word

That you think might be true

I can’t be dumb or a tall African giraffe

So, I’ll just remind myself and smile

And say over, and over again

That I’m always worthwhile crocodile!


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