Making kids less self disturbable? What does this mean? Aren’t people disturbed by things that happen to them? Don’t we hear ourselves and others say ‘it’ makes me mad when so and so happens? Wouldn’t the world be a better place if what’s her name was this way instead of that way? etc.
The students that come to see me are dealing with questions like; why must I do writing when I want to play on the ipad? Writing makes me mad why must I do it! Why is the teacher so mean, she won’t let me draw and she makes me mad. I’m so dumb and hopeless. You get the picture don’t you? Don’t I? Don’t they?
- I must absolutely get what I believe I must have!
- She must be my friend (she is such a louse/I am such a loser)!
- I must always get an A for my assignments (if I don’t I’m a loser)!
- It’s unfair when things don’t go my way (as they should)!
- Identify what they believe
- Decide whether they are helpful (rational) or unhelpful (irrational) beliefs
- Challenge, change and replace errant habits of thinking with more helpful (rational) ones
- Practise, practise, practise until old habits of thinking are replaced with new ones (automatic helpful thinking feeling and behaving)