Dalai Lama and Albert Ellis - of like minds

'Human potential is the same for all. Your feeling, “I am of no value”, is wrong. Absolutely wrong. You are deceiving yourself. We all have the power of thought – so what are you lacking? If you have willpower, then you can change anything. It is usually said that you are your own master.' 

Dalai Lama

 

Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama talks here about the power of thought (belief). It is 'absolutely wrong' (irrational) to believe we are of no value. It is this belief that undermines our students ability to realise their potential. It is this false premise that causes our students of all ages to feel depressed, anxious. angry. 

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education teaches students the Success Helper belief that they can never be worthless. This is based on evidence. Once students develop this foundation belief they grow in confidence and become as Albert Ellis said 'less self disturbable.'

Students learn that:

• No one gives them their worth
• A bad deed does not make a bad person 
• A good deed does not make a good person
• They are not their behaviour
• They are not the opinion of others

This is what teachers do at Para Hills School P-7, Port Augusta West Primary and in many other schools in South Australia through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education. Great stuff!

REBT in Schools - making kids less self disturbable

Making kids less self disturbable? What does this mean? Aren’t people disturbed by things that happen to them? Don’t we hear ourselves and others say ‘it’ makes me mad when so and so happens? Wouldn’t the world be a better place if what’s her name was this way instead of that way? etc.

If we could make ‘it’ disappear then we’d all feel better wouldn’t we? ''Please make it so that I will not be inconvenienced today and that my day will be one free of discomfort and full of joy!'' we implore. We can wish this be the case but can we guarantee it will be that way?

The problem is that inevitably we will experience discomfort in our day and how disturbed we make ourselves depend on what we expect of our day in the first place. How do we view the events of the day?

Epictetus

'Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them.'

The students that come to see me are dealing with questions like; why must I do writing when I want to play on the ipad? Writing makes me mad why must I do it! Why is the teacher so mean, she won’t let me draw and she makes me mad. I’m so dumb and hopeless. You get the picture don’t you? Don’t I? Don’t they?

No they don’t and that is why they present with self defeating, debilitating feelings of anger, anxiety, shame and depression. Please make writing disappear! Please make the teacher let me do what I want when I want to! Please take ‘it’ away and then and only then can I feel OK!

'The universe doesn’t care about you, it’s not for or against you, it just doesn’t give a shit.'

Albert Ellis

Albert Ellis

If Epictetus and Ellis are right and we can’t make ‘it’ disappear then is there another way to deal with challenge and adversity, discomfort, failure and rejection? Why are these children disturbed if it isn’t ‘it’ causing them to be? Is there another cause; another factor or factors at work here?

Albert Ellis said that schools and educators could help children learn how to be less disturbable when things don’t go so well. He argues that as constructivists we have all developed our own habits of thinking (beliefs) and these mostly unconscious personal philosophies determine how strong we may respond to events and happenings. 

• I must absolutely get what I believe I must have!
• She must be my friend (she is such a louse/I am such a loser)!
• I must always get an A for my assignments (if I don’t I’m a loser)!
• It’s unfair when things don’t go my way (as they should)!

 Jonas Salk who developed the polio vaccine said to Martin Seligman:

'If I were a young scientist today, I would still do immunisation. But instead of immunising kids physically, I’d do it your way. I’d immunise them psychologically. I’d see if these psychologically immunised kids could then fight off mental illness better. Physical illness too.'

Jonas Salk

Ellis tells us that poor mental health is not so much a consequence of the ‘outside it’ but more to do with the ‘inside it!’ Children (and us) are making ourselves disturbed because of what we believe about ourselves, others and life in general. If children can learn how their thinking, feeling and behaving are linked they then have a way to begin to work out how to manage themselves more effectively i.e. so they make themselves less disturbed and more able to handle challenge, discomfort etc. This is what Salk meant about psychologically immunising children with the means to see things in a rational way. Ellis gives us this opportunity through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education and educators are taking heed!

A growing number of schools in South Australia are teaching students how as constructivists they ‘make’ ‘build’ ‘construct’ the ‘thinking rules’ that underpin how they feel and how they behave through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education. They are taught to:

• Identify what they believe
• Decide whether they are helpful (rational) or unhelpful (irrational) beliefs
• Challenge, change and replace errant habits of thinking with more helpful (rational) ones
• Practise, practise, practise until old habits of thinking are replaced with new ones (automatic helpful thinking feeling and behaving)

Rational Emotive Behaviour Educators are doing this on a daily basis in schools like Para Hills School P-7 and Port Augusta West Primary School and in many others. Get on board the REBE bandwagon and see the difference it makes!

BATFINK!

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education and Behaviour Management - whats the difference?

There's confusion around behaviour management as compared with (Rational Emotive) behaviour education. So ...

All teaching and learning is based on constructivist theory. People learn in interaction with the world and others building on existing knowledge and understandings to create new learning. In other words knowledge is not acquired from some kind of  repository from which everyone draws upon for learning.

Learning takes place when new ideas and content are connected with old conceptual understandings and the learner is extended from where she is not from where somewhere presumes she is.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education is finding where the child is in terms of her philosophical views about herself, others and life in general. When we know this we can help the child challenge what may be unhelpful personal philosophies and build (construct) better ones. We can work from where she's at. We also teach reinforce and acknowledge the helpful (rational ways of thinking - Success Helper) which are reflected in the behaviour of students who we believe are resilient.

Behaviour management assumes that the student 'should' be able to behave appropriately and 'must' think and act as is deemed the way we all 'should.' The step system is based on this philosophy and in my view 'shames' the child for not being able to act as she should. This is not helpful in the longer term. Educate or punish?

We do I agree need to manage behaviour where the  child can't but the long term view is to help the child understand that her constructed beliefs are causing her to act and feel as she does. Until she knows this in my view she will struggle.

It is my belief that many schools are applying a behaviour management system of control which contradicts what all teachers do in general teaching/learning. There are two opposing or contradictory practises in play based on two different philosophical foundations.  

R U OK? Day and Happy Day at Para Hills P-7

The 10th September was R U OK? Day. It is an act of kindness to ask after the well being of someone we think may be struggling. A kind word or two never goes astray when directed towards someone in potential need. Kindness is a focus of all schools and is taught and encouraged daily. Unconditional acceptance of others is taught to students in schools like Para Hills School P-7 and Port Augusta West Primary through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education. The SRC (Student Representative Council) at Para Hills School has organised a day to reinforce the R U OK? theme of kindness called Happy Day. This 'celebration of kindness' will take place on Wednesday 14th October. As one student commented 'every day could be happy day.' 

Practise kindness

School teachers roles have broadened over time to include many areas beyond the narrow curriculum demands of yesteryear. Mental health and overall well being are promoted and developed through the curriculum across all year levels. This humble post is dedicated to all teachers everywhere who are doing such a fine job in the community of learning and teaching especially those at Para Hills School P-7 and Port Augusta West Primary School. Bravo!

Albert Ellis, REBT and the Over-Nurtured Child

What is a Bonsai child ? It's a new term to describe the child who has been over tended to, fussed over and over supervised. When something happens at school an enquiry is needed to get to the bottom of 'why Isabella fell out with her friend and what did the school do about it as she is such a sensitive child!' Is Isabella temporarily sad or is she depressed. Could be either but it's important to know the difference. 

Clinical psychologist and researcher Judith Locke writes in her book The Bonsai Child "A sense of melancholy is labelled depression; any trepidation is labelled anxiety. A friendship fight is bullying." The Bonsai Child is her term for children who are over-nurtured.

Michael Carr-Gregg talks about marshmallow kids a generation of children who are afraid to fail. Do they experience healthy disappointment when they don't achieve their goals and wants or do they feel unhealthily depressed and angry about not getting what they want? Are these children being conditioned to be so by over zealous parenting of the 'bonsai' and 'helicopter' kind? 

President of the Australian Primary Principals Association Dennis Yarrington says. "We used to say they're a little bit nervous, now they're suffering from anxiety or depression. They're adult words.'' He goes on to say that, ''students need to be taught strategies to deal with challenges, but sometimes parents' first reaction was to ship them off to a specialist "because that's what people do".

Parents, teachers and all adult mentors and supervisors of children would do well to acquaint themselves with counselling models that can explain how strength of emotion is driven by the beliefs and expectations a person has about life and living. Cognitive and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapies are highly effective.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education teaches children from early childhood to high school (and beyond) that they are constructivists. They have ingrained and well practiced beliefs about themselves, others and life. What are they? Are they helpful/unhelpful? Rational or irrational? How are they linked to how they feel and act? What can they do when things don't go their way? Can they learn reconfigure their personal 'habits of believing' and use them to help them deal with challenge and disappointment? 

As many as one in 10 children have mental health disorders according to a national survey by the University of Western Australia published in recent weeks. What can schools do? One effective tool in helping children learn how to survive challenge and thrive in spite of it is to teach them about Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education (REBE). You can read more about REBE in items throughout this blog if you want more information or you you can visit Albert Ellis' Official Page for up to date news about the late Albert Ellis and REBT.

Albert Ellis on 'whining'

In the meantime take some time to view this YouTube post where Albert Ellis talks about the tendency to whine and whinge often over things we imagine to be worse than they actually are. Enjoy!