Don't Give In Mr. Chin!

It’s useful for children to be taught about the value of hanging in there when the going gets tough. The act of doing the hard stuff is driven by the belief that ‘I can hang tough in tough situations.’ This thinking becomes habitual the more the child negotiates difficult situations successfully. Teachers and parents can help their young charges develop this very important capability in a fun way.

Read this story to your students about Mr. Chin. 

Let me introduce Mr. Chin. He is married to Mrs. Chin. They live in a house in a place called ChiniChinChin. They are the Chins from ChiniChinChin and they have a problem. Mr. Chin gives in.

Mr. Chin would start jobs around the house and he would get tired and not finish them.  He would say ‘I give up’ and he would have a rest and fall asleep.

He dug half a hole in the garden and built half a shed. He mowed half the lawn and shaved half of his beard. He did look funny!

Mrs. Chin said, ‘Have you finished your job Mr. Chin?’ But Mr. Chin was fast asleep in his favourite chair.

Mr. Chin went to the doctor and said ‘I give in when I have tough jobs to do.’ He said ‘you have give in disease.’

‘What’s that?’ Mr. Chin asked. He said, ‘when the job gets tricky you think ‘this is too hard and you give up.’ This stops you from being successful. This is Success Stopper thinking!’

'What will I do doctor? I’m not being successful and my jobs are not finished and Mrs. Chin is sad too.'

He said:

If you want to feel much better

And get all your jobs done

This is what you need to do

And you can have some fun!

When you want to stop

And you are about to give in

Instead of resting in your chair

Say ‘DON’T GIVE IN MR. CHIN!’

Mr. Chin went home and told Mrs. Chin what the doctor had said and Mrs. Chin listened carefully.

The next day when Mr. Chin had mowed half the lawn he said to himself, ‘this is too hard. I think I’ll give up.’ Then he remembered what the doctor told him and said, ‘DON’T GIVE IN MR CHIN!’ And guess what? Mr. Chin finished the whole lawn and he felt very good. Mrs. Chin was happy too.

If you drive past the Chins from ChiniChinChin you will notice that everything is finished! Well-done Mr. Chin. You didn’t give in!’

When your child or student is trying hard say:

‘Don’t give in Mr. Chin!’

When your child or student has completed a task say:

‘You didn’t give in Mr. Chin!’

When your child or student is giving up say:

‘Don’t give in Mr. Chin!’

If they try hard and still don’t quite get there ensure them that sometimes things can be too hard but they kept trying and that’s OK.

Whyalla Foreshore - Whyalla, South Australia

My Wings Are Like A Shield Of Steel!

Unconditional Self Acceptance (USA) protects us from the slings and arrows that life tests us with. It is how we deal with adversity that is key to remaining strong and purposeful in living our lives productively. USA affords us a degree of psychological resilience and hence is a very useful 'habit of believing' to teach our students. How do you teach this? This questions has been addressed in previous posts and here is another idea to think about. 

The cartoon character BatFink could protect himself by deflecting bullets with his 'wing shield.' Psychological resilience is a little like having a protective invisible shield that will allow factual and reasonable information through but will reject those things that are untrue and harmful. Unconditional Self Acceptance helps students understand that whilst they will experience failure and rejection, they themselves can never be failures or rejects. Their positive traits, characteristics and capabilities can't be cancelled out or taken away. They remain worthwhile because as Albert Ellis says 'they exist.' This is helpful to all those students who will argue that they are hopeless and without worth.

You may have other ideas to teach this important insight. All suggestions are most welcome!

Children with poor self worth are more likely to be bullied

This article (starting below the photograph) was written by Adelaide Advertiser journalist Martina Simos which was published on 9th June 2013. The article comments on research done by myself (Giulio Bortolozzo) and Dr. Ken Rigby on student attitudes/beliefs/constructed personal philosophies and how these are linked to bullying (bully-vcitim-bystander behaviours).

The Whyalla REBE (Rational Emotive Behaviour Education) School Cluster is implementing the REBE counselling based student behaviour development program. This involves the explicit teaching of Unconditional Self Acceptance and Unconditional Other Acceptance to students which helsp students understand how the 'habits of thinking' they have formed are linked to how they feel and behave. The research mentioned below suggests that students who develop Unconditional Self Acceptance are less likely to be the victims of bullying. Rational Emotive Behaviour Education is a school wide system of behaviour development and as Rational Emotive Behaviour Educators, Whyalla teachers address bullying as part of daily teaching/learning routines.

Picture courtesy of AdelaideNow. Journalist: Martina Simos

MORE than one-in-10 South Australian students in disadvantaged areas have negative thoughts about themselves which is making them easy targets for bullying, new research has found.


The report, How Schoolchildren's Acceptance Of Self And Others Relate To Their Attitudes To Victims Of Bullying, co-authored by bullying expert Adjunct Research Professor Ken Rigby and Giulio Bortolozzo, has been published in the Social Psychology of Education: An International Journal.

The main findings, which analysed responses to questionnaires sent to 212 primary and secondary students aged between nine and 14 in disadvantaged areas, were:

TWENTY-FOUR per cent of children recorded hostile thoughts towards others.

ELEVEN per cent showed negative attitudes towards themselves.

CHILDREN who were positive about others were more likely to intervene in bullying incidents as bystanders.

The researchers believe children who have negative views about themselves need help - to become more resilient, assertive and safer - and if they have hostile views towards others, they need to learn tolerance to curb bullying behaviour.

Prof Rigby said the findings indicate school initiatives could address bullying by introducing co-operative learning and circle time where students discuss concerns in a supportive environment.

"We believe the best help for these children can be provided by teaching them to think more positively about themselves and others through the use of classroom lessons in rational emotive education," Prof Rigby said.

"Relevant are peer support programs and strategies undertaken to promote positive bystander behaviour."

Prof Rigby said: "It may come as a surprise to learn that so many South Australian schoolchildren harbour extremely negative thoughts about themselves and feel they cannot accept themselves as worthy people."

"These children were far more likely to be bullied than others," he said

by Martina Simos AdelaideNow

The Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre is One Year Old!

Below is a short message of acknowledgement from Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis of the first anniversary of the opening of the Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre in Whyalla, South Australia. More than 200  educators, counsellors, allied professionals and para professionals have attended workshops in that time. The focus is on helping students and people in general work on their emotional and behavioural well being.  Using Dr. Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional and Behavioural Disturbance students learn how they have constructed their irrational personal philosophies that drive anger, anxiety, shame and depression over their life time. Rational Emotive Behaviour Education provides the means to deconstruct their errant and self defeating habits of believing and develop more healthy and rational ones.

"I send my congratulations to Giulio Bortolozzo, and to all who practice REBE at Stuart High School, for the ongoing excellent contributions they make to students, and to one another, as they continue to apply the caring principles of REBT.

I remember with fondness my time with all there one year ago, at the opening of the Centre, and how the precious students touched my heart. I send each of them my love. I wish Giulio my ongoing best wishes as he continues to contribute to the well-being of many."

Below is the a news item about the opening on April 30th 2012 courtesy of Southern Cross News.

The Albert Ellis Centre will continue to provide REBT based professional learning programs into the future supporting all schools in the implementation of the Rational Emotive Behaviour Education approach to student emotional and behavioural well being promotion. REBE is a constructivist theory based program that promotes the 7 General Capabilities outlined in the new Australian Curriculum. It helps students develop competencies that will enable them to work toward their personal and learning goals. This is a whole school approach in promoting positive psychological strengths and capabilities in our young people.

Below is the Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre program for the remainder of the year. This is open to all people - educators, allied professionals, parent groups and para professionals who want to know about REBT and how to apply it in their particular contexts. The Centre is located at Stuart High School in Whyalla, South Australia.

Here's to another successful year! Cheers!

The Enduring Practice of Negative Psychology

If constructivist theory is what all learning and teaching is based upon how well do we know and understand it? How do we help students understand the philosophies they have constructed and how they by and large determine the choices they make and the emotions they experience? If a child has given up on herself and has reasoned that she is hopeless how then can she develop her potential? If she has hit a psychological brick wall and can’t push through it or clamber over it what can be done? This psychological impasse has a negative affect on the student and if schools are not equipped with the means to support her then nothing changes for that student.  Could educators unwittingly be peddling a brand of negative psychology in schools? If educators are addressing behaviours only and applying consequences to them this is not enough as the underlying individually constructed beliefs that give rise to dysfunctional behaviour and emotions aren’t being addressed.  We can ask children to ‘believe in themselves’ and have posters on walls around the school but what philosophy underpins such self-belief?  How do we teach it?

Recently an educator (Ms. Di Namic), a self proclaimed ‘passionate teacher’ and a strident critic of ‘poor’ teaching believes that a ‘good’ teacher (like herself maybe??) can compensate for the psychological barriers that students have developed over a life time. Well-prepared, knowledgeable and passionate teachers can achieve this according to Ms Namic. These students can be ‘inspired’ out of the doldrums by the teacher’s passion and verve! A more enlightened educator commented that ‘I had a great physics teacher at school. Loved him but I didn’t learn a thing.’ The point is that teacher competency; enthusiasm and dedication in themselves are not enough to help disengaged students who are emotionally and behaviourally unwell.

Dr Albert Ellis founded Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy in the 1950’s, a philosophy based form of psychotherapy, the forerunner of other cognitive therapies like CBT and Choice Theory amongst others. Martin Seligman acknowledges the influence Ellis’ work had on his Positive Psychology approach. Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance helps people to identify the errant personal philosophies they have constructed, how these affect their moods and behaviours and how they can deconstruct them and replace them with more helpful habits of believing.

This approach is educative and empowering and is used the world over to help people sort out their emotional and behavioural problems and has great potential for students from preschool age upwards. It enables teachers to help students understand why they feel and act as they do. It is not enough to focus solely on the behaviours we observe (behaviour management?) but also on the underlying beliefs students have constructed (behaviour education).

The Whyalla REBE School Cluster in South Australia delivers the REBT mantra to students across all year levels i.e. THINKING FEELING and BEHAVING are all linked. The behaviour we observe and accompanying emotions are the visible (and audible) expressions of individually constructed personal philosophies, which can be rational or irrational (they either help or impede progress towards our goals). Rational Emotive Behaviour Education educators promote positive psychology in schools through Albert Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance. They not only describe behaviours but teach students where their choices of behaviour come from, a very powerful teaching competency!

REBE Educators in Whyalla:

·      Understand constructivist theory

·      Know that we act and feel as we do because we think as we do

·      Teach students how they construct their core philosophical beliefs

·      Help students challenge and change destructive self defeating beliefs

·      Always give behaviour (not person) specific feedback

·      Teach students they are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ but they are always worthwhile

To do otherwise is not enough as the status quo prevails where students remain in a mire of self-doubt and helplessness (a cycle of negative psychological disturbance) disengaged, alienated and at great emotional and behavioural risk. 

Some ways in which negative psychology is reinforced:

Having a step system (one size fits all) approach to behaviour (behaviour management)

Publicly admonishing students

Saying things like ‘you make me angry’

Using person specific feedback e.g. ‘you are lazy/naughty’

Referring to student as ‘a shit’ in the staffroom

Inflexible, undifferentiated curriculum

Exclusive curriculum

Saying good boy/girl

Any others?

Whyalla Foreshore Friend

I am the best - the teacher told me so!

‘The teacher said I’m the best pupil’ the student declares proudly (see picture below). What does this mean? The individual may construe this in a rational way or an irrational way. Rational Emotive Behaviour Education teaches student’s about Unconditional Self - Acceptance that demonstrates how one positive or one negative personal attribute or characteristic does not or cannot define categorically a person’s total value.  It teaches students that their worth isn’t given to them by others and therefore cannot be taken away. They have worth because they exist and ‘that’s that’ as Albert Ellis would say. The same applies to success and failure.  We can fail at something but does that make us failures?

This is a very important insight for students to have. How many students measure their worth according to how well they do in their exams? Or how they are esteemed by others? When we measure our worth according to how others view us or how well we do we are at great risk. Why? Because when people we like do not like us and when we bomb out in our studies (as may happen) we may view this to mean that that we are unlikeable, dumb and unworthy. Dr. Ellis would say that this is self-defeating musturbatory thinking. Must we absolutely always achieve our goals and must we have the love and respect of all significant others?

Our subject, the ‘best pupil’ may seek the approval of the teacher and others in order to validate his personal worth. If he needs the approval of significant others (his teacher) he will work hard to ‘please’ the teacher at every opportunity. He may develop Serious Approval Dependence (SAD) and experience exaggerated levels of anxiety (I must do well. It would be awful if I didn’t). He may outperform his peers in some aspects of the curriculum and he could consistently achieve high grades but this cannot determine his overall worth as a person. He has some faults and hopefully more positive attributes so it is impossible to rate him as ‘the best.’

Better that he consider his teachers assertion that he is the best pupil in some kind of perspective; 

‘yeah I do well because I work hard and I’m good at some things and I feel good about that. I am not the best pupil because Mary is by far a better artist than I am and I don’t do so well at music. The teacher may consider me the best but that’s his opinion. I know I am OK and worthwhile but not any better or worse than anyone else. I accept myself even when I do badly at things.'

Use the picture from People and Emotions to explore these ideas. What might the other student be thinking? Would she feel upset about this or really angry? Would she feel sad and disappointed or really depressed about the teacher’s appraisal of our ‘best’ pupil?

Teach your students the link between thinking (believing) feeling and behaviour. Tell them about helpful thinking (rational) like:

Unconditional Self-acceptance: I accept myself warts and all. I cannot be bad or good. I’m worthwhile even when I fail and others reject me.

Unconditional Other Acceptance: I accept others because they exist like me. I won’t judge their person but I can judge aspects of their person and decide not to associate with them if I choose. I can dislike a behaviour which though bad doesn’t make them totally bad.

Unconditional Life Acceptance: I accept that the world isn’t for me or against me. Sometimes things won’t go my way. I don’t expect that I should always get what I want (though I prefer I did).

These attitudes/beliefs/philosophies give rise to manageable, healthy negative emotions like sadness, concern and annoyance.

On the other hand the following attitudes/beliefs/philosophies (irrational) precipitate feelings of anger/rage, depression and anxiety.

Conditional Self-Acceptance: I am only worthwhile if others think so or if I do well at things. If I fail it means I am a failure, which is awful, and I can’t stand it.

Conditional Other Acceptance: I accept others only if they meet my idea of what’s normal/cool/ok. If they don’t they deserve to be punished and ridiculed and ignored.

Conditional Life Acceptance: Things must go my way and if they don’t it’s not fair and I can’t stand it. It is awful!

The poem below is written from the perspective of the student who is not the best pupil according to the teacher.

A group of schools in Whyalla, the Whyalla REBE School Cluster, teach these ideas through Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy across all curriculum areas. A good thing to do indeed!

The teacher said …

The teacher said that he’s the best,

And this must mean, for sure 

That I have no worth, that I’m no good 

And there’s no point in trying anymore.

Well that’s a view that one can take

If that is what you choose to do

But where’s the evidence, all the facts

That prove what you say is true?

It’s nice to be liked and noticed

Of this there is no doubt

But it’s not what others think

That this is all about!

We are all worthwhile and worthy

Believe me, I insist 

That it’s true and so it follows

We are worthwhile because we exist!

Work hard to reach your goals

And remember it is true 

That not trying will not hurt others

As much as it will hurt you! 

The said 'I'm the best!'

Copyright People and Emotions

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education - the latest.

What is the Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre?

It is a professional learning facility designed to provide quality professional learning to teachers, para professionals, counsellors and community mental health workers. The workshop program is based on the pioneering work of Dr Albert Ellis who created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. He died in 2007 but his legacy lives on through The Centre.


What is Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance and how does this help students?

A represents what happens, B represents my constructed set of beliefs (philosophy) and C is the emotional and behavioural consequence of A + B. Through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education students learn to understand how their beliefs (B) have a significant influence on behaviour and emotions. This is useful for students because many believe that their behaviour and emotional upset is directly related to A i.e. someone or something MADE them angry/depressed/anxious. With this insight students are empowered to learn how to manage destructive negative emotions and behaviours. This is teachers work — at Stuart High School

What is the Whyalla REBE Schools Collective? 

This is a group of schools which promotes positive mental health across all curriculum areas through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education. It is a system of behaviour education that alerts students to their constructed habits of thinking which underpin their behavioural and emotional responses to daily situations. It helps students identify, challenge and change dysfunctional beliefs so that they can more efficiently pursue their goals in life. It is not behaviour management.

Through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education students are becoming aware that the manner in which they respond to situations emotionally and behaviourally is linked to the way they think about them. Once they understand this they can begin to examine their constructed habits of thinking and work to change those that aren't helpful and bolster those that do. Skilled teaching is integral to helping students understand these constructivist principles and practices.

What students are saying ...


'I didn't want to go to my maths class. I felt really anxious and a bit sick but I went anyway. I want to be successful and not going to class won't help me. I told myself I could do this.' Year 9 student at Stuart High School talking about how he deals with challenging stuff.

'I know when my teacher talks about my behaviour she is not judging me. I have learnt through REBE that I am not what I do. I am always worthwhile.' Year 10 students discussing Dr. Albert Ellis' Unconditional Self Acceptance.

Student to teacher: 'You make me angry! This sucks!' Teacher replies: "What's your rule? Is it 'its unfair when I am asked to do something I don't like and its so awful I can't stand it?' Examine your rule as it may not be a helpful one." Rational Emotive Behaviour Education at work. Rational Emotive Behaviour Education @ Whyalla Schools REBE Cooperative. — in Whyalla, South Australia.

'You can call me stupid but don't expect me to believe you. I accept myself.' Year 9 student in response to a fellow students unverifiable assertions about her. 

'I can control my feelings if I check my thinking. Sometimes I think things are worse than they are.' Year 7 student. Whyalla, South Australia, Australia.

'That kid makes me so angry.' Teacher to colleague. Colleague replies 'you make yourself angry because you are demanding something you can't get at this time.' REBT - musting, oughting and shoulding. — at Stuart High School

'I told myself that it wasn't a huge problem like losing my teddy. I felt better' - Pina. A six year old student managing her emotions effectively using the Catastrophe Scale to put the 'badness' of a situation into a healthy context - Rational Emotive Behaviour Education at work. Whyalla Stuart Primary School.

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