Press Release: Centennial Anniversary of the Birth of Albert Ellis PhD

2013 is the Centennial Anniversary of the birth of Dr Albert Ellis Ph.D. Below is a press release written by his wife Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis. 

Contact: Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis: debbiejoffeellis@gmail.com

Dr Albert Ellis ignited, and powerfully fuelled, the cognitive revolution in psychology, counseling and therapy, with his pioneering approach of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in the 1950’s. In addition, he helped transform limiting and uncivil social mores and attitudes of the time, with his vigorous actions supporting equality for women, gay rights, inter-racial marriage, ending of censorship and many more. He has often been referred to as “The greatest humanitarian since Gandhi”. He wrote over 85 published books and over 800 published articles, presented tirelessly around the USA and across the globe, and helped millions of people through his REBT approach to suffer less emotional misery and to experience more happiness in their lives.

During his Centennial year 2013, his wife Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis is available to speak about Dr Albert Ellis and his legacy.

Born September 27^th, 1913, this year marks the centennial anniversary of his birth. At various major conferences throughout the year tribute will be given to this great man and his contributions. He will be honored posthumously on August 1st, 2013 in the opening ceremony of the annual American Psychological Association convention with the ‘APA Award for Outstanding Lifetime Contributions to Psychology’, which is one of APA’s highest honors.

The first tribute of the year will be presented in a Symposium at the annual Eastern Psychological Association conference, held in New York City, in March 2013. It is hoped that many will attend the various tributes throughout the year, and be inspired by the remarkable works and character of Albert Ellis PhD.

Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis

OUGHTISM

Some not only wish that life were as they would want it to be but insist it should be so. This fanciful way of thinking projects a world where everything is as it ‘oughta be.’ Do you ought should or must on yourself, others and the world?

• Must you always meet your own lofty expectations of yourself?
• Must others always treat you as you would like to be treated?
• Must life in general always deliver what you want?

This form of oughtism manifests in all manner of ailments that get in the way of achieving our goals.

For instance ‘should’ that driver have let you in back there and is he an idiot for not being as attentive as he could (should?) have been?

Are you a hopeless case for getting a C minus in your assignment instead of the A you ‘should’ have got?

Should life be easy for you and deliver to you all that you want to be happy? Isn’t it so unfair when things don’t go your way?

These constructed oughtistic beliefs deny us the ability to deal with challenges appropriately. For instance if we think the driver above should have let you in and he is an idiot for not doing so we may feel angrier than we need be. We may also act aggressively and make poor behavioural choices. Is he making you mad or is your anger a result of your demand that he should have acted more courteously?

Ever said to your child you make me so mad! Is she so powerful that she can determine how strong you feel? Is she responsible for causing your feelings and behaviour? ‘She made me mad and I slapped her. It’s her fault!’ 

Is it reasonable to think that as adults we are now able to assume responsibility of our own emotions and behaviour? Is it not better for our children to observe us dealing with situations in a constructive way so that they won’t develop these self (and other) destructive oughtistic tendencies?

Ideas

• Train yourself to monitor how you react emotionally to a situation; identify how you feel and         how strong that feeling is. Do you feel mad (say 7 or more out of 10)?
• Are you about to rant and throw stuff?
•  Ask yourself ‘Am I in control?’
•   Take some deep breaths and remove yourself from the situation.
•   What are you demanding of the situation that you can’t reasonably expect? E.g. ‘that driver should have let me in back there. Idiot. He makes me mad!’
•     Replace ‘should’ with ‘prefer’ – I’d prefer he’d let me in but he didn’t and I can handle this. His behaviour was bad but that doesn’t make him an idiot.’ 

You will notice that anger gives way to annoyance and disappointment and you remain in control. Your four year old in her seat behind you well notice how well you manage yourself and she will learn some useful rules like:

•    I can stay cool in tough situations
•    I don’t expect that things should/must always go my way
•    I can control how I feel (and act)
•    I can deal with problems without making small problems into bigger ones

She will learn that sometimes things happen that we don’t like but we don’t turn minor problems into catastrophes i.e. We prefer people were more courteous on the road (sometimes they make mistakes).

We are oughting when we think/say:

•      I can't stand this/it! (This shouldn’t happen)
•      I/you failed. Idiot! (I/you shouldn’t fail)
•      It’s not fair! (Life should always be fair)
•     You make me mad! (You shouldn’t do that)
•     I’m hopeless (I shouldn’t make mistakes)

Should I?

I know I can't expect

And I won't

That others should do

When they don't.

I will instead

Accept others

And agree

That everyone else

May think (and act) differently

To me!

Oughtism: The oughtomatic tendency to think in oughts, shoulds and musts.

The ABC of Psychological Immunisation

‘You can’t teach young students the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance and it should only be used by a trained psychologist in the counselling setting.’ Albert Ellis railed against this kind of misinformation put forth to preserve the status of the psychologist as ‘expert.’ Ellis of course wanted his ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance to be accessible to all, especially to teachers and students. Far better that young children learn why they feel and act as they do and to develop insights and skills preventatively and educatively in the school setting.

Jonas Salk who created the polio vaccine hypothesised that if we could ‘psychologically immunise’ students they would be less prone to mental health issues and would probably be physically better off too.

Bat Fink, the cartoon character said to his enemies ‘your bullets cannot harm me, my wings are like shields of steel?’ He would wrap his wings around himself deflecting any harmful bullets from hitting him, thwarting those who would have him undone.  

Teaching students how to deflect psychological harm as part of daily curricula activities would be a useful thing. Rational Emotive Behaviour Education does just that by using some basic but essential counselling tools and ideas. To those who may think ‘I am not a psychologist and I have enough to teach’ consider the following and reap the benefits.

1.     Kids actions are determined largely by their constructed views (beliefs) about themselves, others and the world (as indeed our own are).

2.     These beliefs can be largely helpful (rational) or unhelpful (irrational).

3.     Strength of emotion is also linked to these constructed views – ‘I want something and I must have it and I didn’t get it.’= anger. ‘I want something and I prefer to have it but I can wait.’ = disappointment.

4.     Thinking, feeling and behaving are connected – ‘Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so!’ Hamlet.

Strategies

1.     Teach how broccoli is only good or bad depending on what you think about it (replace broccoli with ‘maths’ ‘chores’ etc)

2.     Teach the Emotional Thermometer – words for varying strength of feeling.

3.     Teach the Catastrophe Scale – how to put the severity of problems into reasonable perspective (is a sore toe as bad as your favourite pet gerbil being eaten by a cat)

4.     Provide behaviour specific feedback to students not person specific (you did that well/badly not you are a lazy klutz!)

5.     You can do dumb but not be dumb, a very important distinction (you ARE NOT what you DO. You ARE NOT what others THINK of you). You can fail at something but never can you BE a failure (unless you believe you are – irrational)

Use the idea of Bat Fink deflecting harmful bullets and encourage students to consider information and evidence to draw their own conclusions about their self worth and rejecting (deflecting) errant incoming data. Can a person be bad? No. A person can act badly which does not cancel out the positive qualities that remain.  Failure also doesn’t define a person nor does rejection i.e. we are worthwhile because we are here! (Albert Ellis – Unconditional Self-Acceptance).

Your bullets cannot harm me!

REBT and Aspergers

The English lingo is replete with idioms that would pose a problem or two to a student with Aspergers Syndrome. Certain turns of phrase would be as clear as muddy water! She would remain none the wiser if you were to ask her to ‘pull your socks up’ or ‘pull your finger out'or 'take a chair!’ Are you with me? She’d be flat out trying to cop on to the message.  How difficult would it be to get a handle on the meaning of a message if it can only be taken literally.

Consider the expressions ‘to get a handle on something’ and ‘turns of phrase’ mentioned above. Somehow we internalise these expressions, which make particular meanings and we draw them out of our linguistic hat and use them in the right place at the right time in the right context (We hope!). But what of the student who has Aspergers Syndrome?  What assumptions can we make about her capacity to understand these culturally specific idioms?

I was once asked to observe a student in the classroom setting as the teacher had some concerns about the child’s behaviour. I asked the student on one occasion ‘is that your paper under the desk there? To which he replied ‘yes it is’ and continued to carry on doing what he was doing. Implied in my words and tone was ‘there’s paper under your desk. I assume it’s yours and will you pick it up?’ I expected that the student would understand this, as most other students would do in my experience. I remember I found this interesting and repeated what I asked before. The result was exactly the same and then it dawned on me (‘to dawn on someone’ – another one!) that this person might be exhibiting characteristics of Aspergers Syndrome.   He understood the literal meaning of what I had said and responded accordingly but had missed the other more subtle meanings conveyed by tone and body language. How much more trouble would this student have dealing with idiomatic terms such as those mentioned above?

As it turned out he was diagnosed eventually as having Aspergers Syndrome.

What can happen if we assume a student ‘should’ know what was being asked of him? He would be reprimanded possibly labeled a naughty so and so who ‘should’ show more respect to his elders! The student would be wondering what’s going on. ‘You asked me if that was my paper under my desk and I answered you. Why am I in trouble?’ And it would escalate from there as mutual misunderstanding prevailed. 

As Karen Horney once said

‘Try to eliminate the word ‘SHOULD’ from your vocabulary … but try doing so though without replacing ‘SHOULD’ with OUGHT or YOU”D better.”

Karen Horney

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education reminds us that when we operate from a ‘shouldist’ perspective we don’t make helpful judgements and we don’t feel our optimum best.  Our ‘behaviour management’ approach to addressing student behaviour is based on such a perspective. All students are the same and they should all know better. Right?

Not true. Someone once said, ‘treating everyone the same is not equality.’

However we continue to persist with this system of warnings, detention, suspension and exclusion. Why is this approach unhelpful to our Aspergers student? What ‘musts’ ‘oughts’ and ‘shoulds’ underpin this one size fits all approach to behaviour (mis)education?

Rational Emotive Behaviour Educators will:

·  Not assume that all students absolutely should behave as the teacher believes they must.

·  Remain calm as they will not demand that they should get something that they know they won’t get (in the short term).

·  Teach students how their thinking feeling and behaviour are linked together.

·  Negotiate learning goals with students to help them develop their competencies.

·  Regard behaviour education as part of the curriculum and not exclusive of it.

Specific to the Asperger child the Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator will:

·  Understand that she will take things literally so teaching about idiom would help or choosing not to use it is an option in some situations.

·  Be explicit, ‘please pick up that paper under your desk?’ rather than ‘is that your paper under the desk?’

·   Help her challenge inflexible ‘must’ expectations e.g. ‘People must always behave as I believe they must’ or ‘things always must be the way I want them to be’ (social stories, change classroom furniture, change the timetable) by exposing the student to subtle and explained changes.

·  Teach her to put the ‘badness’ of situations in perspective, to decatastrophise so she accepts that when she doesn’t get what she believes she must have, she can handle it.

·  Teach her to prefer rather than demand that others/the world should always give her what she wants.

Foreshore, Whyalla, South Australia

Positive Psychology in Schools and The Australian Curriculum Stuart High School, Whyalla South Australia

The REBE (Rational Emotive Behaviour Education) brand of psychology says that to negotiate the road ahead requires competencies that will help students build resilience. The Australian Curriculum outlines seven general competencies that are promoted in schools. Personal and Social Competence is promoted through the whole school application of Rational Emotive Behaviour Education.

REBE is a psychotherapy-based system of behaviour education based on the ABC Theory of Emotional (and behavioural) Disturbance. It teaches that the events in our lives PLUS our constructed beliefs (personal philosophies about self, others and life) drive our behavioural and emotional responses to situations (A+B=C). It is not the event itself alone that causes emotional and behavioural disturbance. (A=C).

This is not a ‘think positive and everything will be OK’ approach, it is not the vacuous ‘there, there all will be OK’ mantra of the ‘warm fuzzy’ movement of the 80’s and 90’s.

Each day students whither in the face of challenge and discomfort, withdrawing from activities they don't like or find 'boring.' 'I don't want to do sport because it's boring' or 'maths is boring and makes me mad.' Each time a student withdraws from challenges her ability to bounce back in adversity diminishes. They construct the view that 'in life I shouldn't have to do things that are hard and boring and it's not fair when things don't go my way as they must do and I just can't stand it.' This is the motto of the helpless, those who have not been held to account when the going got tough. And the result? Young people are not ready for the real world where they will be held to account and their livelihood will depend on it. Will they then default to the care of their families, the government to look after them in a world that is 'unfair and boring' and which makes them so 'angry/anxious/depressed?'

REBE challenges students to consider if their anger/boredom/anxiety/depression is indeed ‘made’ by other people and events. It explains what constructivism is and how our constructed beliefs drive how we feel and behave. If a student believes that a challenge is not a catastrophe and she can stand discomfort she is more likely to hang in there when the going gets tough. If she believes on the other hand that she ‘shouldn’t be inconvenienced by difficulty and that she can’t stand tough situations' she is more likely to give up and feel angry.

REBE teaches students how to take control of their emotions and behaviours so that they continue to work towards their goals in life. It teaches them that life is not a cakewalk and that things won’t always go their way but to hang tough when the going gets tough.

The staff at Stuart High School in Whyalla, South Australia teach REBE across all curriculum areas and the benefits are many:

•        Improved attendance
•        Improved mental health outcomes
•        Students more engaged in learning
•        More confident, prepared to take risks

The Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre was established this year to support other schools and teachers learn about REBE. It is the Centre’s aim to promote positive psychology in schools through the Rational Emotive Behaviour Education Curriculum. It consistently challenges the belief that the world is unfair, that it 'makes' us angry and sad and that we can't handle tough situations.

As Dr Albert Ellis once said: 'The universe doesn’t care about you, it’s not for or against you, it just doesn’t give a shit.

More information:

https://www.facebook.com/TheAlbertEllisProfessionalLearningCentre
Twitter: (@REBTOZ)

Albert Ellis: A Guide to Rational Living - Thinking Allowed DVD w/ Jeffr...

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education is based on Ellis' Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. Here he explains the link between thinking, feeling and behaving. His ABC Theory of Emotional (and behavioural) Disturbance helps teachers to help students understand how they have constructed the beliefs that drive their dysfunctional feelings and behaviours. Rational Emotive Behaviour Education is all about challenging those unhelpful core beliefs and replacing them with healthy, rational habits of thinking. Educators at Stuart High School in Whyalla South Australia are implmenting REBE across all curriculum areas effectively.

It's Just Not Fair!

Schools in Australia have a Sun Safe No Hat No Play Policy. This protects the long-term health of children in light of what we know about over exposure to the sun and skin damage. It’s a reasonable preventative health measure.

A young child (6 years old) recently in a school playground was crying, hatless in a shaded area looking on as her ‘hat ready’ peers played on the playground equipment having the greatest time ever!

I asked her what had happened (A=Activating event) and she replied

‘I can’t play on the playground with my friend because I have no hat!’ So I reflected back to her what she said (as counsellors do).

‘You have forgotten your hat and you can’t play with your friends. Is that right?’

‘Yes.’ She said through a veil of tears. ‘How do you feel about this?’ I asked (Emotional Consequence of A=C).

‘I feel very sad because I can’t play with my friends on the equipment. The teacher said I have to stay in the shade. She is mean. She makes me mad!’

Again I reflected back to her thusly ‘you feel sad because you have no hat and you can’t play with your friends on the equipment and you feel mad too because the teacher says you have to stay in the shade. You say she is mean. Is that right?’

‘That’s right she makes me mad and it’s not fair that I can’t play with my friends.’

‘Ok you feel mad and sad because you can’t play with your friends and the teacher is mean because she won’t let you play in the sun and it’s not fair.’

Our little friend believes that the event (A) ‘I have to stay in the shade’ is making her act and feel as she does (C). Someone or something is making her mad and thus in her mind A=C i.e. She does not accept any responsibility for her behaviour and feelings. Nonetheless she is about to learn some useful ideas about the way life works because the teacher on duty (me) is about to pounce and give her an REBE (Rational Emotive Behaviour Education) booster!

I say:

‘If you think it is really bad and it’s the worst thing that can ever, ever happen then you will feel mad and angry. This is Brain Bully thinking, Brain Bully (BB) is trying to trick you. Tell BB that if you h ad  a very sore throat or you can’t find your favourite teddy or your dog is sick and has to go to the vet are much worse than having to play in the shade because you have no hat.’

She says:

‘Brain Bully is making me sad and mad. Get lost BB.”

I say:

‘Well done. Now you think, ‘this is bad but not the worst thing that can happen to me.’ Now you are using helpful thinking. Brain Friend (BF) thinking helps you to feel better. Do you feel better?’

Now this process may seem long and drawn out but it can be shortened somewhat by saying in the first instance (assuming the school teaches REBE across the curriculum) the following:

‘Nobody makes you mad. You make you mad when you use BB thinking. This is not the worst thing that can happen (‘do you need an ambulance?). There are bigger problems than this. Tell your self this is a pain but you can stand it.’

It is useful for our young learner to be reminded that:

•  Things are very bad if you think they are.
• You feel bad when you use BB thinking.
• Challenge BB with BF (‘this is not the worst thing that can happen’) and change how strong you feel (annoyed but not angry) about things.
• How you think about things makes feelings and actions not just what happens to you (the event).

If this is reinforced in all interactions between teachers and students at school children will generally feel healthily annoyed, concerned and sad about things rather than anxious, angry and depressed. That’s what REBE is all about. Try it and see!