Albert Ellis Centre Opening - Australian Education Union Bulletin Article

Australian Education Union (SA Branch) | Volume 44 - No. 3

Follow this link to read about the Grand Opening of The Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre, pages 6 and 7. REBTOZ thanks the Australian Education Union for supporting our efforts at Stuart High School to teach students how to develop unconditional self acceptance through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education.

Positive mental health promotion across all curriculum areas is our aim - behaviour education not behaviour management!

Was Little Jack Horner a Good Boy?

Little Jack Horner suffered from extreme self esteem sickness. According to the nursery rhyme Jack believed he was a good boy because he achieved something.

Little Jack Horner

Sat in a corner 

Eating a Christmas pie

He put in his thumb

And pulled out a plum

And said, 'what a good boy am I.'

When he did good he was good and presumably when he didn't do so well he believed he was bad. This is called conditional self acceptance, the belief that personal worth is tethered to how others esteem us or how well we do at things. Jack could be a victim of Severe Approval Dependence (SAD) and experience life as a series of highs and lows according to how others view him or how well or badly he performs at tasks. We will not as humans always succeed at doing well at tasks and we will inevitably at times fall short of our goals. We may not win the respect and affection of significant others on lifes journey either. What we can do is cutivate unconditional self acceptance in ourselves and teach our children that they can make mistakes but that does not make them mistakes ('I can fail but I'm never a failure'). We can also learn to believe that though we may desire the approval of others we don't need it. We can learn to approve of ourselves ('I can be rejected/criticised by others but I'm never a reject myself') thereby lessening the hurt we may experience when things go awry.

Jack worked hard and practiced taking healthy risks and discovered in time that when he didn't quite achieve what he wanted to achieve or others weren't as approving or courteous towards him as perhaps they could be that the world didn't end. He developed the view that no matter what he was always worthwhile, unconditionally because he existed and that was that!

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner

Reflecting on the day

'I stuffed up once

I mucked up twice
But I am always OK!'

Teach this to your students.

The Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre Grand Opening - A World First!

The Albert Ellis Professional Learning Centre was officially opened at Stuart High School, Whyalla SA on Monday 30/4/12. Ian May Assistant Regional Director, Lord Mayor Pollock, Anne Beinke (AEU) and other invited guests from the local and regional communities attended.

Special guest Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis, wife of Dr Albert Ellis creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, came from New York to open the Centre.

Centre founder, Senior Leader/counsellor Giulio Bortolozzo had a long association with the late Dr Albert Ellis, the creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT). Acknowledged as the grandfather of cognitive behaviour therapy and a giant in the field of psychology, his ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance has been used for decades around the world by mental health practitioners to help people with their behavioural and emotional disturbances.

Dr Albert Ellis declared early in his illustrious career that:

‘I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs.’

The Albert Ellis Centre is dedicated to providing educators; counsellors and allied professionals REBT based training and development. A particular focus is the application of REBT in the educational context, Rational Emotive Behaviour Education. This is the application of REBT principles and practices across the whole school designed to help students understand how their thinking feeling and behaviour are interconnected. They are taught that events of themselves don’t cause their emotional and behavioural upset but rather it is their constructed view (philosophical beliefs) of themselves, the world and others that do. This insight, taught consistently across all year levels is educative and preventative practice. This supports the counsellor who uses the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance, which has been introduced to the students through Rational Emotive Behaviour Education Curriculum.

Special guest Dr Debbie Joffe Ellis promotes REBT/REBE across the globe and enthuses that this the first Centre of its type in the world and would have the full endorsement of her late husband, Dr Albert Ellis. She said in a recent interview on Southern Cross TV News that she was overjoyed that this facility has been established to help people, especially younger ones to address emotional and behavioural suffering like anxiety, depression and anger.

Stuart High School Principal Veronica Conley has supported this project from its inception and Centre manager Giulio Bortolozzo has valued her strong and determined support. Ms Conley agrees that it is important to share best practice with other schools and educators in the promotion of positive student mental health across all curriculum areas.

The Centre has an Outreach Program for schools which may require on-site support to establish the REBE curriculum at their school.

The Centre is located at Stuart High School in Whyalla, South Australia. Many students present with a range of behavioural and emotional needs and school staff is dedicated to supporting them in achieving personal and academic success. This Centre is yet another innovative way in which our students are supported and which is available as a wider community resource. Anne Beinke, AEU representative (Australian Education Union) comments:

‘The new centre is a really great opportunity for the school to showcase the innovative programs they are using to help their students to reach their potential as well as helping to educate others about Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy.’

Whole day workshops are available to educators, counsellors and allied professionals.

May 21^st Rational Emotive Behaviour Education and Bullying – what the research says and what to do about it in schools with Dr Ken Rigby

June 6^th Rational Emotive Behaviour Education for Early Childhood Educators and counsellors.

June 20^th Rational Emotive Behaviour Education for Primary and Secondary Educators and counsellors.

Interested? Contact Giulio via this blog or on 0412668815

The Albert Ellis Professional Learning Facebook Page

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education: student with anxiety - session 3

The student continues to explore the idea that events don’t cause our extreme ill feelings but rather it is our interpretation or thinking about them that does. The belief we are worthwhile only when others do is an errant philosophical view and our student is beginning to realize that his unrealistic demand that others MUST like him to be likeable is doing him a disservice.

In the counsellors office

Counsellor:   You say that you feel anxious when you think you have ‘offended’ someone. Is that fair to say?

Student:  Yes I want people to be happy. I hate it when they feel bad because of me.

Counsellor:  It would appear that you believe you are responsible for how others feel. You say you ‘made him upset.’ Would that also mean that you believe others ‘make you upset?’

Student:  Yes. People can make me upset and I can upset others.

Counsellor:   I want to talk about a ‘must’ rule that people make over time. It is a rule that is not a helpful one to have.

Student:  What do you mean? Do I have a must rule? I don’t think I do.

Counsellor:   What do you think about the rule ‘people must like me or I’m no good?’

Student:  I’m not sure what you mean. Where does this rule come from?

Counsellor:  Ok instead of using the word ’rule’ replace it with ‘belief.’  Say ‘I believe I’m ok only when people think I am.’ (Student repeats statement). A belief is a strongly held view about something that we believe is true.

Student:  Why do I believe this? Where does it come from?

Counsellor:   You have learned this from an early age. You have learned that you are only ‘good’ if others think you are ‘good.’ When someone disapproves of aspects of your personality or something you do you don’t just feel disappointed you feel really anxious and sad. Someone or something is not ‘making’ you anxious but your ‘thinking rule’ your ‘must belief’ is!

Student:  Do you mean that my belief that that kid I was talking about ‘must like me and think I am a good person’ is what is causing my anxiety?

Counsellor: Yes exactly! Your belief (that you believe is true) is making you anxious because you don’t get what you must have and that it is really awful that you don’t. You think you need the acceptance of others to be worthwhile!

Student:  Isn’t it normal to want other people to like me? I try very hard to be liked.

Counsellor:  We may want to be liked and admired by others but really needing others’ attention and admiration to ‘make’ us feel worthwhile and accepted is an unhealthy MUST rule. That is ‘people must like us for us to feel good about ourselves.’

Student:  Ok I am getting the hang of this. Other people who might disapprove of my behaviour don’t cause my anxiety but my must belief does. I think ‘he must think I am a good person.’ Is that right?

Counsellor: Yes, well done. Not only must he approve of you but it is so awful that you can’t stand it when he doesn’t!  You must get what you want and when you don’t you feel highly anxious and very unhappy.  You will maintain your anxiety as long as you believe your MUST belief/rule.

Student:  How do I change my unhelpful rule? How can I learn to manage my extreme worry?

Counsellor: The antidote to ‘I must have the approval of others for me to feel OK’ is Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA). It means ‘I accept myself, warts and all even when I stuff up, even when someone disapproves of me in some way!’ This is a healthy rule/belief because you remain in control. You remain healthily concerned but not so anxious that you can’t focus on your work.

Student:  So when someone thinks I have done something bad I’m not bad, is that what you are saying? 

Counsellor:  Yes you are always worthwhile no matter what, even when you screw up or someone rejects you. When you asked someone if they had a problem and he mistook what you said and showed annoyance towards you it did not in any way take away your value. You are only worthless if you believe you are and you believe you are when you believe ‘I MUST have the approval of others to be worthwhile.’

Student:  I get what you mean.

Counsellor:  Practice believing ‘I prefer others to approve of me but they don’t have to. I accept myself no matter what. I can handle this.’

Student:  I’ll do that. Thanks.

There will be follow up sessions for our hopefully less anxiety prone student but he has gained a certain degree of insight into why he has felt as anxious as he has in the past. 

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education: Student with anxiety - session 2

This 14 year old student has had a reasonable week. He has been aware of how his anxiety has ebbed and flowed in his interactions with others and is monitoring his self-talk. He is very careful about what he says and how he says it and is quick to help and encourage others with enthusiasm. Other students have commented that he is ‘overly helpful and encouraging’ at times and would prefer he ‘relax a bit.’

Counsellor: G’day. How’s it going?

Student: I’m fine. I’ve been thinking about our last chat and I think it’s true that I worry too much about what others think.

Counsellor: You’re not alone, and it’s useful that you have been thinking about your anxiety and what might be causing it. Last time we spoke we talked about ‘needing the approval of others.’ Do you recall?

Student: Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I do want to be liked by others. Isn’t it OK to want be liked by everyone?

Counsellor: Can you be liked by everyone? Do you think this is a reasonable expectation to have of others?

Student: I try hard not to offend anyone so shouldn’t they think well of me?

Counsellor: Want and need are interesting ideas. Can you see a difference between the two?

Student: Yes I think need is stronger than want, like you need water to survive but you don’t need to have chocolate. Without water you will die but without chocolate you can still survive!

Counsellor: Well explained. What is the difference between wanting to have others like and respect you and needing others to like and respect you?

Student: I get what you mean. I’m into needing others to like me, like I will die if they don’t! That’s what’s going on with me, that’s why I feel so bad when other people seem not to like me. That’s why I try hard to please them!

Counsellor: I think you are working it out pretty well. You have identified a belief or rule that you have that is not helpful to you because your anxiety is linked to this rule. Do you know what your rule might be?

Student: I have an idea that it’s something to do with my need for others to approve of me. Am I warm?

Counsellor: You are very warm, hot even. Can you begin saying your rule with: ‘I need the ……..

Student: OK. I need the approval of others.

Counsellor: Yes but why?

Student: I need them to like me so I can feel good about myself.

Counsellor: Yes indeed. Well done! And when you don’t get the recognition or approval you ‘need’ how do you feel? And how does this affect your life?

Student: I feel really anxious and I can’t concentrate on anything because I have made someone upset.

Counsellor: Well done! You’re beginning to understand where your anxiety comes from. You have worked out what your feelings and behaviours are connected to. What would that be?

Student: That would be my rule wouldn’t it?

Counsellor: Yes or belief. Tell me what your rule is but instead of beginning with ‘my rule is’ use ‘I believe that’ instead.

Student: OK.  I believe that I need the approval of others for me to feel OK. How’s that?

Counsellor: So who or what is ‘making’ your anxiety?

Student: I think my rule or belief makes my anxiety. Would that be right?

Counsellor: Yes I agree that you have developed a MUST belief. People you like and respect MUST like and respect you but ‘must’ they? Can they?

Student: I’m beginning to understand that I can’t expect everyone I like to like me but it’s hard for me to accept this. But it makes sense.

Counsellor: It might make sense but you have been practicing this MUST rule all your life and it will be difficult to replace it with a healthier more sensible rule.

Student: What would that be?

Counsellor: You might want chocolate but you don’t have to have it. You might want their approval but you don’t have to have it to be OK. How could you express the notion that you might want chocolate but you don’t absolutely need it? Clue - use ‘prefer’ in your sentence!

Student: OK. I would prefer to have some chocolate but I don’t have to have it. I prefer people I like to like me but they don’t have to.

Counsellor: Will you die of you don’t get any chocolate? Will you die if someone you like doesn’t like you? Would it be so awful that you couldn’t stand it?

Student: No I wouldn’t die and I could stand it but I wouldn’t like it, I still wouldn’t like it!

Counsellor: No it would be bad but not so bad that you couldn’t stand it. You can’t always get what you want and that’s true don’t you think? You might not get what you want (them to like you) but you are still OK even if they don’t. We will talk about this further in the next session. Well done.

I had intended to talk about Unconditional Self Acceptance(USA) but I have taken a while to get to this point. The student has shown considerable insight into what he believes (his philosophy) and how this drives his anxiety. Intellectually he understands whats going on, he can talk the talk. But it will be a while and take a lot of hard work before he will automatically walk it. This is called emotional insight and we will continue with this case study in the next post. This is Rational Emotive Behaviour Education at work. Good one Dr. Ellis!

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education: Student with Anxiety 1

This student feels anxious over something that has happened. He asked another student if he had a problem (are you Ok? Can I help?). This was misinterpreted (what do you mean I have a problem?) and he responded aggressively. The student was taken aback and then began to mull over the response he received. He asked a trusted teacher if the esteem in which he was held by other teachers was now diminished. The teacher said not in any way but the student remained preoccupied and went to see the counsellor outlining what had happened and how best to deal with the situation.

In the counsellors office

Student: I am concerned about how a student responded to me. I am caring and I didn’t intend to offend him when I asked him how he felt and if I could help. I am worried that he thinks I intended to offend him. I want to be a nurse one day; everyone knows I like to help.

Counsellor: So you asked him if he had a problem and he didn’t appreciate the questions. He felt annoyed. Is that right?

Student: Yes and I don’t understand why he felt that way. Anyone who knows me would say that I am caring and I am genuine when I ask how someone is.

Counsellor: You are caring and considerate of others generally and you are known for this. One individual has interpreted your intentions in a negative way and you feel upset and worried about this.

Student: Yes I do. I asked Mr S. if the other teachers would think less of me because I have offended someone. I am worried about this.

Counsellor: Using the Emotional Thermometer how would you rate the intensity of how you feel? How strong is your worry?

Student: It is around 9/10.

Counsellor: That’s strong. How often do you feel like this and for how long?

Student: Most of the time I feel anxious about things.

Counsellor: How does this affect your day-to-day life? Does it help you achieve your goals or get in the way?

Student: I can’t focus on what I have to do.

Counsellor: That would be stronger than concern or worry. Do you know what anxiety is?

Student: Yes I do.

Counsellor: From what you tell me you feel anxious a lot of the time because you want everyone to like you and you think it would be terrible if anyone thought badly of you. You really care about what others think of you.  Do you think you care too much? Do you need other people to approve of you for you to feel OK?

Student: How did you know that?

Counsellor: The belief that ‘I am OK only if others think I am’ is an unhealthy belief because it stops you from working towards your goals. You feel nervous and worried a lot of the time (unhealthy negative feelings) because you think it would be terrible if anyone knew you made mistakes or didn’t seem to approve of you.

Student: This stops me from being successful because I can’t concentrate on my work because I feel very worried a lot of the time! I worry too much about what others think of me but I can’t seem to stop doing this.

Counsellor: You have the tendency to believe that everyone must like you because you are a likeable and caring person and others should recognise this. Is this fair to say?

Student: Yeah. I just can’t handle it. What can I do?

Counsellor: We will look at your belief that you need everyone’s approval to be OK and why this is keeping you anxious. We will work on this next time we meet. In the meantime remind yourself that you don’t need other peoples approval to be OK. You can prefer it but you don’t need it.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Education is the application of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy principles and practices in the classroom and across the school. When a student comes to see the counsellor she already knows that thinking, feeling and behaving are connected. She knows about rational and irrational thinking; how ‘musturbatory’ beliefs stop her from achieving success. She has been introduced to the Emotional Thermometer and the Catastrophe Scale as aids that can help her. The student is therefore prepared to explore unsettling personal emotional issues using to Dr. Albert Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance. We will continue to explore this student’s anxiety in the next blog post, Rational Emotive Behaviour Education: Student with Anxiety 2. 

Musting Oughting and Shoulding

‘Musturbation’ is a term coined by Dr Albert Ellis to describe absolutist, black and white thinking/believing. Musturbatory thinking according to Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy theory is the kind of thinking that gives rise to extreme frustration anger and depression. This kind of thinking drives the unhealthy choices we are teaching our students about. The following habits of thinking are musturbatory:


• I absolutely must get what I want (or not get what I don’t want)

• Significant others must treat me well and do my bidding

• Life should be easy

If these absolutist demands are not being met then:

• Life is so awful and I can’t stand it! It sucks!

• People who behave shitily are shits!

• When I behave shitily I am a shit!

Musturbators will blame others and events for how they feel e.g. I only got an A- (perfectionistic leanings – I must be perfect), maths makes me angry (life must be easy), she didn’t let me join and she’s/life’s a shit (people/life must treat me fairly)

Karen Horney said:

‘Try to eliminate the word ‘should’ from your vocabulary …but try doing so without replacing ‘should’ with ‘ought’ or ‘you’d better’.

When people tell me I should, ought or must do something I am inclined not to want to do it. If an e mail uses language like should, ought or must I am inclined to ignore it or to bin it.

Our musturbating students don’t know they are doing this and Rational Emotive Behaviour Education is about teaching and modelling behaviour that reflects healthy habits of thinking (philosophies).